SelfGrowth.com: 3 Passion Killing Mistakes & Rules of Positive Conflict

 [SelfGrowth.com]  Self Improvement Newsletter Improve Your Life Today!  8/15/16 issue:  3 Passion Killing Mistakes & Rules of Positive Conflict Email for: {EMAIL} * Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter * Issue #935, Week of August 15-16, 2016 Publisher: David Riklan - [] In this issue: -- Quotes of the Week -- Article: The 3 Biggest Mistakes Couples Make to Kill the Passion - By Jan Robinson and Lucas Lehman -- Article: Do's and Don'ts of Positive Conflict - By Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT -- Book Review: The Honest Truth About Dishonesty: How We Lie to Everyone--Especially Ourselves - by Dan Ariely -- How to Advertise in the Self Improvement Newsletter -- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter ------------------------------------------------------------ *** Quotes of the Week *** ------------------------------------------------------------ "The great thing in this world is not so much where you stand, as in what direction you are moving." - Oliver Wendell Holmes, 1809-1894 "Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must first be overcome." - Samuel Johnson, 1709-1784 "I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward." - Charlotte Bronte, 1816-1855 ------------------------------------------------------------ *** ARTICLE: The 3 Biggest Mistakes Couples Make to Kill the Passion - By Jan Robinson and Lucas Lehman *** ------------------------------------------------------------ Passion is energizing and inspiring, a great big wonderful "YES!" that fills life with a sense of greatness and purpose. When you have passion, life is fun and juicy. In relationship, passion is a deeply affirmative force. When there's passion--for one another, for spending time together, for making love--you feel loved, accepted, cherished and desired. You feel on top of the world and you love it! Every relationship has a honeymoon phase that's filled with passion. You're absolutely crazy about each other. You can't get enough of one another. You gaze into each other's eyes as you plan romantic dates and getaways. The relationship is fun, exciting, full of magic and . . . hot! The months and years go by, though, and the delight and deliciousness fades into the background of everyday life. "The thrill is gone." "There's just no spark anymore." "We're stuck in a rut." In the Rejuvenate Your Love Life seminars and coaching programs, couples learn techniques and practices to rekindle and sustain their passion for a lifetime. Those who go through the programs find that lovemaking becomes more fulfilling than ever before. Sound good? Here's a head start for you: If you and your partner are making any of these 3 critical mistakes, passion doesn't stand a chance. Evaluation Quiz: 1. Has life become so busy and demanding that there is no time or energy for lovemaking? 2. Are the male/female differences that once drew you together now driving you crazy? 3. Do you judge your partner (and/or yourself) too often? If you answered even one "yes," read on. MISTAKE #1: Don't Have Time/Energy for Love A strong, fulfilling love relationship is one life's most precious gifts. It reduces stress, keeps you healthy, lifts your spirits, energizes and boosts confidence. It creates a happy, harmonious atmosphere at home for your children as well. We all want that, right? But often in the race to keep up with daily life, intimacy with our mate falls to the bottom of our to-do list. Something to enjoy when we can squeeze in the time, and rally the energy. "Yawn. . . I'm too tired for sex. And it's not just me. My partner is as wiped out as I am much of the time." "Eek! no time. My husband and I are like two ships passing in the night -- every night. We want to get together, but we can't figure out how." Sound familiar? A relationship is like a beautiful garden. It needs love and attention to continue to grow and flourish. Without regular, nurturing attention, weeds (aka, resentments) creep in, and love becomes a sad memory of what it once was. ** To read the full article, [go here.] ------------------------------------------------------------ *** ARTICLE: Do's and Don'ts of Positive Conflict - By Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT *** ------------------------------------------------------------ It's normal to have conflict in relationships. People are different, and their desires and needs will inevitably clash. Resolving disagreements in a healthy way creates understanding and brings couples closer together. The objective should be the betterment of the relationship. This is positive conflict. Below are 24 suggested rules - 12 Do's and 12 Don'ts - for actualizing this goal. Arguments are Good! Arguments aren't necessarily a bad sign. It means differences are surfacing, but in some relationships, differences aren't acknowledged, because either one partner dominates a subservient one, or because both individuals are merged and don't really know themselves or are sacrificing who they are to please one another. These solutions to differences usually backfire, because they build resentment and passive-aggressive behavior, and closeness and intimacy suffer. With these couples, conflict is a sign of growth and maturity. At the other extreme are high-conflict couples, where differences escalate into power struggles and communication becomes aggressive. The Role of Self-Esteem Self-esteem is essential to assertiveness and healthy communication, which lay the foundation for avoiding fights and handling conflict. Unfortunately, this isn't the norm, especially among codependent couples. Not having had good role models for expressing anger and handling conflict, one or both partners is usually passive or aggressive. When it comes to disagreements, low self-esteem leads to: Taking things personally Defensiveness Inability to express needs and wants High reactivity People-pleasing Not taking responsibility for behavior, feelings, and needs Inability to be honest Undisclosed expectations of others ** To read the full article, [go here.] ------------------------------------------------------------ *** BOOK REVIEW: The Honest Truth About Dishonesty: How We Lie to Everyone--Especially Ourselves - by Dan Ariely *** ------------------------------------------------------------ Dan Ariely, behavioral economist and the New York Times bestselling author of The Upside of Irrationality and Predictably Irrational, examines the contradictory forces that drive us to cheat and keep us honest, in this groundbreaking look at the way we behave: The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty. From ticket-fixing in our police departments to test-score scandals in our schools, from our elected leaders' extra-marital affairs to the Ponzi schemes undermining our economy, cheating and dishonesty are ubiquitous parts of our national news cycle-and inescapable parts of the human condition. Drawing on original experiments and research, in the vein of Freakonomics, The Tipping Point, and Survival of the Sickest, Ariely reveals-honestly-what motivates these irrational, but entirely human, behaviors. ***** The list price of this book is $15.99. To purchase it from Amazon.com at a price of $11.74, a 27% discount, [go here.]  ============================================= *** How to Advertise in the Self Improvement Newsletter *** To advertise your website or product to our Self Improvement Newsletter audience, go to [ To submit articles or other information, please send us an email at [editors@selfgrowth.com], or visit our Article Submission form at [    --------------------------------------------------- *** How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter*** --------------------------------------------------- To subscribe to our newsletter, please go to our Subscriptions Page at [ To unsubscribe or update your information, go here: [Manage Preferences] Copyright (C) 2016 by Self Improvement Online, Inc. Permission is granted to reproduce or distribute this newsletter only in its entirety and provided copyright is acknowledged. 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