SelfGrowth.com: How to Start Over & 4 Ways to Say No

 [SelfGrowth.com]  Self Improvement Newsletter Improve Your Life Today!  7/18/16 issue:  How to Start Over & 4 Ways to Say No Email for: {EMAIL} * Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter * Issue #931, Week of July 18-19, 2016 Publisher: David Riklan - [] In this issue: -- Quotes of the Week -- Article: What's Holding You Back from Starting Over? - By Diana Todd-Banks -- Article: 4 Ways to Say No Effectively in Any Situation Without Drama - By Stephanie Owens -- Book Review: Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts--Becoming the Person You Want to Be - By Marshall Goldsmith -- How to Advertise in the Self Improvement Newsletter -- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter ------------------------------------------------------------ *** Quotes of the Week *** ------------------------------------------------------------ “Never be entirely idle; but either be reading, or writing, or praying or meditating or endeavoring something for the public good.” - Thomas a Kempis, 1380-1471 “Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival.” - W. Edwards Deming, 1900-1993 “We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.” - Sir Winston Churchill, 1874-1965 ------------------------------------------------------------ *** ARTICLE: What's Holding You Back from Starting Over? - By Diana Todd-Banks *** ------------------------------------------------------------ Has life dropped a big ball and chain around your feet? Do you feel like you’re sleep walking through life, unable to move frozen with some form of fear, fear about the future, fear about Starting Over and how to positively move forward? Yes, it is an uncomfortable place to be, but the good news is, regardless of your age 35 or 70, all that can be changed. Today, with so many social pressures often experienced through some form of loss, like the impact of GFC, it’s not uncommon for people to grapple with mental gremlins and blocks that hold them back from Starting Over. While some of those mental blocks could have been there since childhood they can become more pronounced when some big loss occurs – be it financial, job, career, loss of a loved one, divorce. However, we were not born with those blocks, those fears, rather for a variety of reasons we gather them along the way during our life, up to now. With that in mind, let’s do a little visualising … a little dreaming. What do you wish you could do if there were no limitations, if you had no gremlins or blocks whatsoever, and you knew you could not fail? Do you have a little voice deep down that says... ‘Oh I’d love to do something new I desperately want to change my life I really want to write a book I want to start a new career I want to earn money again. I need to I want to live life again I desperately want to Start Over When you begin thinking, wishing, and dreaming this way do any little mental demons creep or even instantly pop in to your mind, perhaps saying: ‘I don’t have the money. No ... I couldn’t. It’s too late. I’d have to learn too many new things. I don’t have the energy. My brain is too lazy. It’s too complicated. I don’t know how to. I’m too old.’ What if you changed the word ‘I,’ to another person saying those words? Has some else in your life said to you: ‘You don’t have the money. It would take you too long. It’s too late for you to do anything new. No ... you just can’t. You don’t have the energy. You’re too lazy. It’s too complicated for you. Anyway you don’t know how to.’ If any of those negative phrases are said or thought repeatedly, either by you to yourself, (and they can if you’ve been feeling depressed) or by someone else in your life, it doesn’t take long before you start believing those negative words to be true. And sadly, up to now, that is the way you may have been living your life. ** To read the full article, [go here.] ------------------------------------------------------------ *** ARTICLE: 4 Ways to Say No Effectively in Any Situation Without Drama - By Stephanie Owens *** ------------------------------------------------------------ The 4 No's of being a No Pro Saying “No” can be difficult because Pleaseaholics are concerned about hurting people’s feeling or damaging a relationship. I know how difficult it can be to even imagine telling someone no. Having the right tool for the job makes it easier because you don’t have to think about how to phrase it just right. The 4 No’s do all the work for you. These 4 No’s are simple, practical solutions to gracefully decline a request of your time or resources. Each no is designed for a specific situation or type of relationship. All you have to do it pick the right “NO” and put it to use. 1. Short & Sweet No This no is ideal for strangers or intrusive salespeople. In this case, keep it short and sweet with a smile and a simple “No” or “No thanks” response. I believe in kindness to strangers too, so be polite, but clear. If this sounds impossibly harsh, really think about what’s motivating you. If you want to avoid hurting a person’s feelings, it’s worse to let them go through their whole pitch and then tell them no. Also, you’re taking time away from people, projects and causes that are your true priorities in favor of someone you don’t even know. 2. Simplify Sandwich Use Simplify Sandwich with co-workers, acquaintances and anyone with whom you have an on-going friendly relationship. It sounds like this, “I’m sorry, I’m making an effort to simplify right now, but thanks for thinking of me.” The “simplify” is sandwiched between “I’m sorry” and “Thank You” – two of the least conflict evoking phrases in the English language. Also, everyone can relate to an intention to simplify, especially around the holidays. It’s more credible than being “busy.” Practice saying the Simplify Sandwich aloud repeatedly so it rolls easily out of your mouth when it’s time to use it. ** To read the full article, [go here.] ------------------------------------------------------------ *** BOOK REVIEW: Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts--Becoming the Person You Want to Be - By Marshall Goldsmith *** ------------------------------------------------------------ In his powerful new book, bestselling author and world-renowned executive coach Marshall Goldsmith examines the environmental and psychological triggers that can derail us at work and in life. Do you ever find that you are not the patient, compassionate problem solver you believe yourself to be? Are you surprised at how irritated or flustered the normally unflappable you becomes in the presence of a specific colleague at work? Have you ever felt your temper accelerate from zero to sixty when another driver cuts you off in traffic? As Marshall Goldsmith points out, our reactions don’t occur in a vacuum. They are usually the result of unappreciated triggers in our environment—the people and situations that lure us into behaving in a manner diametrically opposed to the colleague, partner, parent, or friend we imagine ourselves to be. These triggers are constant and relentless and omnipresent. The smell of bacon wafts up from the kitchen, and we forget our doctor’s advice on lowering our cholesterol. Our phone chirps, and we glance instinctively at the glaring screen instead of looking into the eyes of the person we are with. So often the environment seems to be outside our control. Even if that is true, as Goldsmith points out, we have a choice in how we respond. In Triggers, his most powerful and insightful book yet, Goldsmith shows how we can overcome the trigger points in our lives, and enact meaningful and lasting change. Change, no matter how urgent and clear the need, is hard. Knowing what to do does not ensure that we will actually do it. We are superior planners, says Goldsmith, but become inferior doers as our environment exerts its influence through the course of our day. We forget our intentions. We become tired, even depleted, and allow our discipline to drain down like water in a leaky bucket. In Triggers, Goldsmith offers a simple “magic bullet” solution in the form of daily self-monitoring, hinging around what he calls “active” questions. These are questions that measure our effort, not our results. There’s a difference between achieving and trying; we can’t always achieve a desired result, but anyone can try. In the course of Triggers, Goldsmith details the six “engaging questions” that can help us take responsibility for our efforts to improve and help us recognize when we fall short. Filled with revealing and illuminating stories from his work with some of the most successful chief executives and power brokers in the business world, Goldsmith offers a personal playbook on how to achieve change in our lives, make it stick, and become the person we want to be. ***** The list Price of this book is $27.00. To purchase this book for $15.26 from Amazon.com, a 43% discount, [go here.]  ============================================= *** How to Advertise in the Self Improvement Newsletter *** To advertise your website or product to our Self Improvement Newsletter audience, go to [ To submit articles or other information, please send us an email at [editors@selfgrowth.com], or visit our Article Submission form at [    --------------------------------------------------- *** How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter*** --------------------------------------------------- To subscribe to our newsletter, please go to our Subscriptions Page at [ To unsubscribe or update your information, go here: [Manage Preferences] Copyright (C) 2015 by Self Improvement Online, Inc. Permission is granted to reproduce or distribute this newsletter only in its entirety and provided copyright is acknowledged. 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