SelfGrowth.com: Friction-Free Relationships & Seeing Yourself Clearly

 [SelfGrowth.com]  Self Improvement Newsletter Improve Your Life Today!  6/6/16 issue:  Friction-Free Relationships & Seeing Yourself Clearly Email for: {EMAIL} * Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter * Issue #925, Week of June 6-7, 2016 Publisher: David Riklan - [] In this issue: -- Quotes of the Week -- Article: How to Create Friction Free Relationships - By Sharon Melnick -- Article: The Projection Factor: How Clearly Do You See Yourself in the Eyes of Others? Self-Perception vs. Self-Definition - By Don Neviaser -- Book Review: You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life - By Jen Sincero -- How to Advertise in the Self Improvement Newsletter -- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter ------------------------------------------------------------ *** Quotes of the Week *** ------------------------------------------------------------ “To rejoice in another's prosperity, is to give content to your own lot: to mitigate another's grief, is to alleviate or dispel your own.” - Thomas Edwards, 1837--1900 “Half of the failures in life come from pulling one's horse when he is leaping.” - Thomas Hood, 1799-1845 “Never let life's hardships disturb you ... no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages.” - Nichiren Daishonin, 1222-1282 ------------------------------------------------------------ *** ARTICLE: How to Create Friction Free Relationships - By Sharon Melnick *** ------------------------------------------------------------ You have an awkward interaction with your friend…Do you blame her and wait for an apology, or do you proactively reach out to ‘own’ your part in it? Your assistant does your marketing promotion wrong. Do you get irritated at her or do you calm yourself down before asking her to help you understand what went awry and how you can prevent it next time? In the car, your spouse/partner is lost and aggravated, but won’t stop to ask for directions. Do you snap at him to ‘calm down’ and remind him he ‘always does this’, or do you take out your iPhone GPS and make a ‘note to self’ to print out directions next time (thus averting the usual spat.) Your answers depend on whether you follow the 50% rule. Usually you want to change what the other person is thinking and doing because it is annoying you or making you feel upset, and you think they ‘shouldn’t’ do it that way. The 50% rule is an approach to all relationships (romantic, business, parenting, friendship, family) in which you focus on being “impeccable for your 50% of the interaction”. It’s not about ‘being nice’ or ‘giving in to keep the peace’. Its about taking responsibility for your part, relying on your own tools to get yourself into the right emotional state, and acting in a way that aligns with “who you want to be” in the relationship. The benefits of being impeccable for your 50% are many: you walk away from the interaction feeling proud of yourself rather than guilty for lashing out. You preserve your relationship rather than chip away at it. You decrease the other’s defensiveness so they are more likely to listen to you (and if they are not capable of much change, you are already ‘in a good place’ and thus detached from the ill effects of their behavior). And this is the most important: you are ‘in control’! ** To read the full article, [go here.] ------------------------------------------------------------ *** ARTICLE: The Projection Factor: How Clearly Do You See Yourself in the Eyes of Others? Self-Perception vs. Self-Definition - By Don Neviaser *** ------------------------------------------------------------ If during a variety of interactions the responses from others seem to be more negative than the messages you intended to convey, or if you sometimes feel others just don’t like you for some reason, perhaps it's time to consider the source. Is it possible your messages and actions are not being accurately received because of your delivery? Is there perhaps something in your emotional background adding a more debasing lean to your perceptions of how others see you, and if so, might you be reacting toward them in line with these false perceptions? It can be difficult to plug into a variety of interactions when one’s true self and relative value are shrouded by self-doubt and uncertainty. When self-perceptions are rife with self-loathing and disappointment, it can be hard for some to imagine others may actually see them in a more positive light. With such an inclusive mindset, it is not uncommon to project these same negative perceptions onto the perceptions of others resulting in varying degrees of defensive posturing; the resulting unwarranted agitation is then picked up on and reacted to by others accordingly. Ironically, negative reactions to a reaction based on false pretenses tend to simply verify and justify one’s original negative interpretations that were projected onto others in the first place. Sadly, interactions such as these damage or destroy a variety of personal and professional relationships completely unnecessarily! Regardless of why certain negative perceptions exist, ultimately they come down to a matter of perspective, and as such, can be affectively controlled or curtailed by countermeasures designed to shift focus, belief and perception. Ironically, particularly resilient negative perceptions are actually outstanding examples of how certain perspectives can affect and influence one’s life; a reality that can be equally utilized for life-views of a more positive nature! It would therefore make sense to counter them by incorporating the same recipe of assumption, attitude and perspective that brought them to life to begin with; powerful factors in how we see ourselves, our life and others. ** To read the full article, [go here.] ------------------------------------------------------------ *** BOOK REVIEW: You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life - By Jen Sincero *** ------------------------------------------------------------ In this refreshingly entertaining how-to guide, bestselling author and world-traveling success coach, Jen Sincero, serves up 27 bitesized chapters full of hilariously inspiring stories, sage advice, easy exercises, and the occasional swear word, helping you to: Identify and change the self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviors that stop you from getting what you want, Create a life you totally love. And create it NOW, Make some damn money already. The kind you’ve never made before. By the end of You Are a Badass, you’ll understand why you are how you are, how to love what you can’t change, how to change what you don’t love, and how to use The Force to kick some serious ass. ***** The list Price of this book is $16.00. To purchase this book for $9.60 from Amazon.com, a 40% discount, [go here.]  ============================================= *** How to Advertise in the Self Improvement Newsletter *** To advertise your website or product to our Self Improvement Newsletter audience, go to [ To submit articles or other information, please send us an email at [editors@selfgrowth.com], or visit our Article Submission form at [    --------------------------------------------------- *** How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter*** --------------------------------------------------- To subscribe to our newsletter, please go to our Subscriptions Page at [ To unsubscribe or update your information, go here: [Manage Preferences] Copyright (C) 2015 by Self Improvement Online, Inc. Permission is granted to reproduce or distribute this newsletter only in its entirety and provided copyright is acknowledged. 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