6 Beauty 'Flaws' I've Realized Aren't Flaws at All

SELFCares Newsletter, March 21st, 2018 SELFCares About... Making Your Own Rules [I Stopped Working Out to Lose Weight—and Feel Happier Than Ever]( If you are unable to see the message below, [click here to view.]( [SELF Cares]( [woman eating ice cream] [lightbulb] This week, we're talking about... Making Your Own Rules When I was growing up in the '80's and '90's, most of the messages I got about food, exercise, and my relationship to my body were about weight and weight loss. In the last several years, the mainstream conversation about health and wellness has shifted; it's become more nuanced, holistic, and less exclusively focused on dieting. There's space now to start talking about weight stigma, body positivity and neutrality, autonomy, ability, privilege, and access, all as they relate to bodies, food, and fitness. These strides have made me hopeful. But if I'm honest, I get almost as stressed out about the imperative to just uncomplicatedly love and accept myself as I do about the idea that I should want to change myself through diet and exercise. Both options feel like prescriptions for how to have a body, feed it, move it, and relate to it. That's why every now and then I need something that cuts through all the noise and reminds me that I can decide all those things for myself. I can define my own goals and decide what I want to do to reach them. Or I can not have goals at all! The stories I've chosen for this week's newsletter are reminders that there's no "right" way to work out, to eat, to feel about your body, and to set wellness goals. They're stories that remind and challenge me to make choices on my own behalf, rather than in response to the bajillion messages I'm absorbing all day, every day. [Sally Tamarkin, Food and Fitness Director] [woman stretching]( [Louise Green] [As a Personal Trainer, I Want You to Know That Comparing Yourself to Others Won't Help You Meet Your Goals]( Until recently when I decided to try to break the habit, it was almost second nature for me to compare myself to others—their workouts, their bodies, race times, professional success, etc., etc., the list goes on. Louise Green (aka Big Fit Girl) gives wisdom that's insightful and actionable. [READ MORE]( Advertisement [advertisement]( [Powered by LiveIntent]( [AdChoices]( [a couple kissing]( [Three Times a Virgin: A Trans Woman's Best First Time, 40 Years in the Making]( There's no shortage of writing about sexual encounters between cisgender people. So why shouldn't we hear from transgender people about their sexual experiences, too? This is an honest and vulnerable essay about what sex was like for the writer, Allison Washington, before and after transitioning. [READ HER STORY]( [smashed plate with spaghetti]( [Michelle Ruiz] [6 'Simple' Goals I'm Putting on My F*ck It List and Giving Up on for Good]( Out: Forcing yourself to do the things that feel like punishment in the name of self-improvement or being "better" versions of ourselves. In: Starting a "f*ck it" list of which of those things to give up ASAP. [CHECK IT OUT]( [advertisement]( [Powered by LiveIntent]( [AdChoices]( [woman using exercise machine]( [I Stopped Working Out to Lose Weight—and Feel Happier Than Ever]( Working out can be for/about so many things that have nothing to do with weight loss. It's great to be reminded that working out can be fun just because moving around and sweating is fun in and of itself. [SEE MORE]( [woman squatting with weights]( [Louise Green] [How to Find a Size-Friendly Personal Trainer]( While we shouldn't have to go to extraordinary lengths to find health professionals who are size-friendly, the reality is that body positive trainers are sometimes more the exception than the rule. That's why I love these straightforward and super actionable tips. [GET THE TIPS]( [advertisement]( [Powered by LiveIntent]( [AdChoices]( [6 Beauty 'Flaws' I've Realized Aren't Flaws at All]( I love this meditation from SELF's senior beauty editor Jessica Cruel on how she's come to think differently about her body's so-called "flaws." Each time I re-read it it inspires me to try to stop thinking about things about me that don't match normative expectations of beauty or attractiveness as imperfections or things I need to fix. [CHECK IT OUT]( [woman at the beach]( Sharing Is Caring! Forward this newsletter to your friends! Got this from a friend? [Sign Up Here]( Curated with care by SELF editors [instagram]( [Unsubscribe]( | [Privacy Policy]( Sent from Condé Nast, 1 World Trade Center, New York, NY 10001, attn: Email Coordinator Copyright © 2018 Condé Nast.