I Didn’t Know Why I Was Running Until I Was Forced to Stand Still

Having a goal helped me cope with trauma. When races were canceled, I finally learned to heal. [ view in [browser](. add runnersworld@newsletter.runnersworld.com to your address book ] [RunnersWorld.com]( FOLLOW US [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [Instagram]( [You Tube]( [I Didn't Know Why I Was Running Until I Was Forced to Stand Still]( The New Jersey Marathon was to take place almost exactly a year after I dropped out of the Queens marathon, mid-pursuit of a BQ. New Jersey was supposed to be my redemption race. Desperate for another chance at Boston, I had ramped up my training through the winter of 2020, clocking all of my long runs at qualification pace. On March 12th, New York went into lockdown. New Jersey was postponed to November, and with it my goal of qualifying for Boston. A lost race was insignificant in the face of the broader toll of the pandemic, and yet, I was terrified. With marathon training and most of my usual routine off the table, I had no distractions from the thoughts I had been pushing aside for years. For the first time since I was raped over five years ago, I stopped running. I started training for a marathon the day after my assault. I wrote up a training plan, picked out a goal race, and laid it all out on my calendar. This would be my second marathon. My first had been a year earlier, and I'd been surprised by how smooth and attainable the miles felt. I thought the distance could make me feel powerful again. [READ ON]( [RunnersWorld.com]( [Through Heat and Hallucinations, Francesca Muccini Wins the Vol State 500K]( The 52-year-old won the overall crown for the second time, breaking the women’s record. [Read On]( [RunnersWorld.com]( [The Best Running Shoes For Every Type of Run]( These are the top 20 models we’re loving so far in 2020. [Read On]( [RunnersWorld.com]( [Oiselle Is Stepping into Shoes With a Super Comfy Sport Sandal]( Take a stroll in the clouds when you slip on the Oiselle Sport Sandal. [Read On]( [RunnersWorld.com]( [16 Years After a Truck Accident, This Teacher Is Running 100-Milers]( Two life-changing events were the catalyst for this non-runner to get moving. [Read On]( [RunnersWorld.com]( [Gel or Chew? Marathon or 5K? What Type of Runner Are You?]( Compare yourself with others in our polls to see where you stand among other runners! [Read On]( [runnersworld.com]( ©2020 Hearst Communications Inc. All Rights Reserved. Hearst Email Privacy, 300 W 57th St., Fl. 19 (sta 1-1), New York, NY 10019 [Unsubscribe]( [Privacy Notice](