Quants needed

[The beef 675] “I’m sure Ray Dalio is catching his crocodile tears in a glass of Cristal” - Jeff Hey there carnivores, The S&P 500 closed down 0.03%... just barely missing out on five straight days of gains. Today we’re talking Bridgewater’s...ahem...underwhelming performance Keep raging, Jeff & Jason Not very pure Ray Dalio better find some new quants…The investment savant and founder of the world’s largest hedge fund has had a rough go of it in 2020. And not just because no one is downloading the Principles in Action app. Bridgewater’s flagship Pure Alpha II fund [has lost 18.6%]( this year... while the S&P is up 8.63%. And this isn’t exactly a sudden drop. Back in August, Bridgewater announced its piss-poor performance and said it would tweak its investment model to right the ship. [So that was a f*cking lie...](While other money managers have gotten their sh*t together, Ray’s cult fund has managed to maintain its stunning losses. And for that reason, I'm out Dalio’s poor performance has caused [some of its institutional investors]( to cash in their chips. You know what they say: "sell the f*cking dip." The Delaware Public Employees’ Retirement System liquidated its $180M investment in Bridgewater’s Pure Alpha Major Markets fund. More like beta fund, amirite? And Delaware isn’t the only one getting the f*ck out. According to a Bloomberg report, the hedge fund steeped in Dalio’s “Principles” has seen $3.5B in outflows through the first seven months of the year. Of course, the company still manages roughly $145B. The bottom line... If I’m being radically transparent, Bridgewater’s performance this year has been embarrassing. But it might be more of a trend than an anomaly. Critics have questioned its strategies, claiming B-Dub's computer models are too antiquated (not unlike a certain hedgie who doesn't know when to hang up his bit loafers) which caused them to misread the markets for the second year in a row. Ray needs to get himself a Taylor Mason on the payroll. On top of his performance issues Dalio has dealt with several high-profile personnel matters this year. Most notably a gender-discrimination suit [brought](by former Co-CEO Eileen Murray which cost the firm between $20M and $100M (a final number wasn't disclosed). Sounds like the title of King of Hedge Funds might be up for grabs... Thou giveth and buyeth back Berkshire Hathaway dropped its Q3 earnings Friday, reporting net revenue of in $30.1B. Its investments in companies like Bank of America, Snowflake and Apple helped boost the conglomerate's tendies. Berkshire [spent $9B]( to buy back its own shares last quarter, bringing its total buybacks to $16B for the year. This amounts to more than three times its previous annual record. The company’s Scrooge McDuck sized pile of cash is down to $139B. For you CVS health [Thanks, Dr Steve Brule.]( CVS Health [has announced]( its new CEO. Meet Karen Lynch. She is currently the EVP of CVS and President of Aetna… and always asks for the manager at Olive Garden. Karen will become the 40th woman to hold the chief executive position on the Fortune 500 list. Current CEO Larry Merlo will step down on February 1, while continuing to serve on the board of directors until his retirement in May. Nature is healing Marriott [reported a profit]( during its Q3 earnings call Friday. Unsurprisingly, the hotel industry has been hit hard by ‘rona. International travel restrictions, a drop in intra-country travel this year, and fewer rent by the hour requests have taken a toll on hotels and motels. However, the company’s cost-cutting measures have paid off, helped out by an increase in occupancy rates, which have nearly doubled from Q2. About 94% of Marriott’s hotels have resumed operations. EPS of 6 cents per share beat estimates of a loss of 8 cents per share, while revenue of $2.25B just edged out estimates of $2.23B. 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