[The beef 675]
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âJamie Dimon is like the financial father I never had.â Jason
Hey there carnivores,
Markets crashed and burned again on Thursday.
Today weâre talking about Jamie Dimonâs emergency heart surgery.
Keep raging,
Jeff & Jason
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What Would Jamie Do?
Flags on Wall St. are flying at half-mast today.
You might want to sit down...
Jamie Dimon...yes, that Jamie Dimon [had an emergency heart surgery]( yesterday and is recovering as of last night from an acute aortic heart dissection. Iâm no doctor but any time you have âheartâ and âdissectionâ in the same sentence, that can NOT be good. According to reports, JD is awake and recovering. The markets over the last few days have taken a toll on all of our tickers, JD.
Protect this house
Co-Presidents Daniel Pinto and Gordon Smith are at the helm and ready to carry the torch [while Jamie is down and out](. Whether or not the two are planning to do their CEO like Robert Baratheon remains to be seen, but this isnât the first health scare for the long-time JPM CEO.
Back in 2014, he battled throat cancer but still managed to run the powerful bank throughout his eight-week chemotherapy treatment, from which he fully recovered. So you could say heâs seen some sh*t.
Dimon, who is only 63 years young claimed at JPMâs recent Investor Day that he is planning to work for at least five more years. Who does he think he is, the Tom Brady of banking?
How important is one guy?
Of course, the bank will be fine while Dimon is on the DL. There are plenty of executives who donât know their kid's names that will carry the workload. But under Jamieâs supervision, JPMorgan has flourished, largely due to the fact that it avoided getting mixed up in mortgage-backed securities ahead of the 2008 financial crisis.
As a result, the bank was able to swipe up Bear Stearns and the banking ops of Washington Mutual, leading to it becoming the biggest US bank by assets. All in favor of changing the banksâ name to âJD Morgan?â
The bottom line...
Major heart surgeries will really put things into perspective. With the recent death of Jack Welch, it's a good time to remember that there are only two things that are certain: death⦠and The Beef being delivered to your inbox every morning.
And while plenty of the GOATs of commerce are on the proverbial âback nineâ of their careers, itâs become abundantly clear that some of these masters of the universe are having a harder time turning over the keys to the kingdom than others *cough* Ray Dalio and Warren Buffett *cough*.
While JPM certainly has a succession plan in place, Bridgewater and Berkshire Hathaway's plan Bs are less clear.
Next week on 'The Profit', Marcus helps an 89-year old Omaha native create a succession plan for his multibillion-dollar holding company.
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âï¸Rob from the rich. Robinhood [is under fire]( after the companyâs inability to execute trades earlier this week. This, of course, has led investors to miss out on some serious spread opportunities. The no-cost trading platform is facing a class-action suit brought by a âFlorida manâ who has rallied some of his toothless pals in an effort to go after the deep pockets of the millennial-friendly trading app.
Money hungry lawyer Mike Taiffe, who is the father of the plaintiff is seeking $5M in punitive damages thanks to the inability of Robinhood to execute trades during this tumultuous week. Leave it to a Florida man to ruin a good thing...
âï¸It was all a stream. If you thought getting a record deal was hard, try being a record label attempting to IPO during peak coronavirus szn. Warner Music Group [has pushed pause]( on its effort to go public as the market volatility has decreased the potential value the music company can expect.
Music rights are a hot commodity these days as streaming music becomes more profitable. But there is a shrinking window for labels as Spotify and other streaming services have hinted that they will start charging artists more money to be âpromotedâ within the apps. Whatever happened to 45âs, man?
âï¸So sorry to inter-(bank)rupt. Former Google employee Anthony Levandowski is [going to wish]( he never jumped ship. Levandowski was an engineer at Googleâs Waymo, where he earned $120M, before leaving to create a self-driving vehicle startup in 2016 that was quickly purchased by Uber. The only problem is, when Levandowski packed his bags, he brought 14k confidential documents that didnât belong to him. Classic mixup.
Google quickly filed a lawsuit against Uber, which was settled, but a separate investigation was launched against Levandowski. A San Francisco based court determined that the former autonomous car making contributor owes Google $179M. Tony recently filed for bankruptcy, citing Google bending him over a barrel and showing him the 50 states.
âï¸Not my virus. YouTube is [blocking its users from monetizing]( videos about coronavirus. The video-sharing platform is not allowing users to make money off of the heartbreak and suffering of tens of people! The platform isnât taking down any of the videos but it will not payout the users who post it. Godspeed, YouTube.
Some users are outraged based on the censorship, but this isnât the first time YouTube has pulled this kind of stunt. As coronavirus has become a âsensitive topicâ YouTube feels that it is doing the right thing by keeping the money-hungry wolves at bay.
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