Maker of rain

[The beef 675] [I'm an image] "This guy f*cks." - Jeff, about Jeff Bezos [Read The Beef Online - Click Here]( Hey there carnivores, Markets mounted a comeback towards the close, with the three major US indices ending positive. Today we’re taking a peek at Amazon’s earnings. Keep raging, Jeff & Jason [Image] [I'm an image] Maker of rain “We’re going to set the standard for earnings this quarter.” - Tim Cook and Elon Musk “Hold my beer.” - Jeff Bezos Amazon joined the list of tech behemoths to have one helluva Q4, sending its stock up 11% and vaulting it back above the $1T valuation threshold, joining tech bros MSFT, AAPL, and GOOG. Sucks to suck, [Zuck](. Gimme some numbers The world's biggest online retailer [reported a whopping $87.44B]( in revenue last quarter, over $1B higher than the $86.02B expected and up 21% from the previous quarter. Earnings per share came it a $6.47, more than 50% higher than the $4.03 predicted by analysts... who apparently graduated from ITT Tech. Net profit for the quarter came in at $3.27B, 8% higher than last year, thanks to costs coming in lower than the $1.5B projected by the company in its last earnings report. All I do is win win win Amazon attributed its gains to customers ordering more products than ever, thanks to its previous investment in one-day and same-day shipping. The big money spent last quarter (Q3) led to a 26% [drop in net profit]( and had investors concerned. It’s obvious who is [laughing]( now. On top of moving a sh*t ton of product, Bezos disclosed that more Amazon Prime customers signed up in Q4 than any previous quarter, bringing the total to 150M Prime members. And did you know that Bezos’ got beats too? Amazon Music Unlimited subscribers increased by 50% during the quarter. Not all good, but mostly Amazon Web Services technically beat estimates with revenue coming in at $9.95B compared to $9.81B estimates, but its growth rate has continued to slow from 35% last quarter to 34% in Q4. And let’s not forget Whole Foods, which disgraced Overlord Bezos, posting a 1% loss in revenue vs. last year. The bottom line... It’s Jeff Bezos' world. We’re just living in it. Amazon is continuing its dominance of the online space for retail, continuing its growth in services... and we didn’t even mention advertising revenue that was up 41% to $4.8B. After a “down” Q3 thanks to its investments in the one-day and same-day shipping it's safe to say AMZN is back. The stock jump sent Bezos’ net worth up $12B. NBD. [I'm an image] Here’s a question for you: would a guy who didn’t believe in his company’s product 1000% [put the logo on a NASCAR in the Daytona 500](? I didn’t think so... Oh, and in case you’re looking for a little extra spending money (or cash to invest!) we’re [giving away $10k]( to one lucky person who likes/retweets my post on Twitter. [Image]( [I'm an image] ☑️ Tapping out. Two of WWE’s execs got eliminated from the royal rumble after earnings came in on the low end of expectations. The departure of co-presidents George Barrios and Michelle Wilson led to a [stock drop of 24%](. New interim CFO Frank Riddick will report to CEO and Chairman Vince McMahon. Whether or not he’ll have a say in the outcome of XFL games has yet to be determined. ☑️ Down with the sickness. The World Health Organization has [designated the coronavirus outbreak]( in China as a global health emergency. Just hours after the first reported human to human transmission of the virus in the US, global moves have been put into effect to stop the spread of the virus further, including the closure of borders and the halt of production of products in China for companies like Volkswagen and GM. As a result, US stocks are taking a beating, as investors put on their surgical masks and try to figure out what the spread of this virus means for the markets moving forward. ☑️ Grounded. Southwest Airlines has some ‘splaining to do. According to reports, the airline flew more than [17M passengers]( on planes that didn’t quite meet expectations. SW reportedly has been flying planes with unconfirmed maintenance records spanning more than two years. Yeah, that’s bad, but how was Boeing involved? ☑️ Up in smoke. Altria’s Juul investment isn’t quite paying off. On Thursday, the company posted a Q4 loss, while also writing down its investment in Juul e-cigs by [$4.1B](. Altria’s vaping endeavor faces a number of federal litigations, while teens continue to blow fat clouds in the form of vaping. At least they look cool doing it. Since October 2019, there’s been an 80% increase in the number of legal cases brought against Juul, and Altria clearly expects that number to grow. On the news, Altria stocks dropped 7%. The good news (if you’re not the parent of a cool-ass teen) is that Altria brought in $1.02 per share, in line with Wall Street’s anticipated return. 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