Stumpf gets the death penalty

[The beef 675] [I'm an image] "Hey, it could be worse, just ask Bernie Madoff." - Jeff, on the fines handed down to WF execs [Read The Beef Online - Click Here]( Hey there carnivores, Markets didn’t move a whole lot again yesterday despite the coronavirus crisis deepening. Today we’re discussing the penalties doled out to former WF execs. Keep raging, Jeff & Jason [Image] [I'm an image] Payback’s a b*tch You think your 2020 is off to a bad start? Try being a former Wells Fargo CEO... As if being the punchline of every fin-twit sh*t-post (ok, maybe Deutsche Bank and Nomura took some of the heat too) isn’t bad enough, two former execs are facing [up to $59M in fines]( from the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency thanks to the massive fake account scandal that happened under their watch. John Stumpf, or Stumpy as he’s affectionately referred to around the water cooler, agreed to pay a $17.5M fine as a penalty for his oversight during the time when Wells Fargo created millions of fake accounts. And it gets worse for Johnny. Not only does he have to pay the fine, but [he’s also barred]( from work at any bank ever again. Not that one would hire him... Dance partners It takes two to tango, or in this case, create a worse working environment than the Gulf War. That second dancer, in this case, was Carrie Tolstedt. She led Wells' community bank until 2016 when the scandal was revealed and oversaw the period when most of the accounts were likely created. And the OCC isn’t letting Tolstedt off easy. Her trial is still pending but she currently faces a fine of up to $25M, and that number could rise. The bottom line... Sucks to suck. In addition the John and Carrie, six other former WF employees are facing fines. This is one of the first times in recent history that individuals have been held responsible for the actions of their company. Fun fact: no execs were punished for their role in the financial crisis. WF doesn’t face any additional fines but is still tarnished by what happened. [I'm an image] You blew it. There, I said it. If you missed my free weeklong options strategy seminar, you missed out on learning everything from the fundamentals all the way to how to identify and profit from the 3 phase lifecycle of any stock. In most cases, you’d be sh*t out of luck. But today your laziness is going to pay off like a kid in college who skips class then asks to borrow someone notes at the end of the semester (aka, you can [catch up right now with a full replay](). You’re welcome. [I'm an image] ☑️ Safe sex. Tinder's parent company wants you to use protection. It has [made an investment]( (the amount remains undisclosed) in Noonlight an app that can track locations and alert authorities. Together the companies will provide a safety feature on Match's portfolio of dating apps that will allow daters to alert authorities should the date take a turn for the worse. This comes as pressure mounts on tech companies that facilitate IRL interaction to implement safety measures. Your move, Uber. ☑️ The cable guy. Welp, Comcast investors, I've got good news and I've got bad news. The good news is that in [Q4 profits rose 26%](, revenue increased 2% and the company hiked its dividend by 10%. What could possibly go wrong? Shares fell nearly 4% on the day. WTF? You see, people don't like when a cable company is bleeding subscribers. And that's exactly what Comcast is doing. Comcast lost 149k subs in Q4 alone. Comcast brass had this to say: "just wait til Peacock launches ... you'll see." ☑️ "Diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era." Yesterday full-time DJ and part-time Goldman Sachs CEO David Solomon [said]( that the investment bank won't take companies public unless they have at least one diverse board member. Or, of course, it could be because US companies with at least one female director have performed significantly better over the last four years. Ball don't lie. ☑️ Locker room talk. Apple wants to watch you workout. On Thursday the tech giant [launched]( "Apple Watch Connected" which allows users to sync their watch to their workouts at certain gym chains (Basecamp Fitness, Orange Theory, YMCA and Crunch Fitness for now) to track their workouts (lame) and earn rewards (less lame). At Crunch you can earn up to $4 towards your membership dues per week. Rumor has it that Tim Cook is collabing with Equinox to create a reward that will allow you to tell a homeless person to "get a job, you bum" for every class you complete. 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