The lazy river is an oasis within an oasis: a break from a water parkâs more kinetic entertainment. Its only requirement is that you commit to drifting along on a carefully-calibrated current.
This relatively gentle ride might seem trivial compared to more forceful chutes and flumes, but every bend and entryway presents a challenge to engineers trying to keep it gentle and constant. Itâs an even greater design feat to add just the right amount of turbulence, for a more natural feel.
As lazy rivers get more creativeâthe Marriott Marquis in Houston has one [in the shape of Texas]( design process becomes more difficult. Thatâs why some water park designers see themselves as part of a long tradition dating back to âthe Baroque era geniusesâknown as fontanieri or fountaineersâwho built extravagant gravity-driven water features at estates like Versailles or Villa dâEste,â [writes Karrie Jacobs in Curbed](. So kick back and relax! Weâre already on our way.
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[Quartz Daily Obsession]
Lazy rivers
February 25, 2020
Smooth sailing
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The lazy river is an oasis within an oasis: a break from a water parkâs more kinetic entertainment. Its only requirement is that you commit to drifting along on a carefully-calibrated current.
This relatively gentle ride might seem trivial compared to more forceful chutes and flumes, but every bend and entryway presents a challenge to engineers trying to keep it gentle and constant. Itâs an even greater design feat to add just the right amount of turbulence, for a more natural feel.
As lazy rivers get more creativeâthe Marriott Marquis in Houston has one [in the shape of Texas]( design process becomes more difficult. Thatâs why some water park designers see themselves as part of a long tradition dating back to âthe Baroque era geniusesâknown as fontanieri or fountaineersâwho built extravagant gravity-driven water features at estates like Versailles or Villa dâEste,â [writes Karrie Jacobs in Curbed](. So kick back and relax! Weâre already on our way.
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ð [View this email on the web](
Giphy
Explain it like Iâm 5!
Engineering bliss
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The ease of a lazy river belies its serious hydraulic challenge. To keep hundreds of thousands of gallons of water moving, builders line the channel with grates. As a small percentage of the water seeps through the bars, itâs pumped back into the system through a series of downstream jets. But lazy rivers twist, turn, and open up so riders can enter and exitâall things that âdisturb the flow and cause local energy losses,â according to an [analysis by civil engineer Bruce M. McEnroe](.
To keep things flowing optimally, the placement of each jet has to be considered. âThe angle is important,â Terry Brannon, president of engineering firm Brannon Corporation, [tells Pool and Spa News](. âToo steep an angle, and the water jet bursts through the surface like a large bubbler. Too flat an angle, and all the momentum is imparted to water at the floor and is not very efficient.â Jets need to be more forceful at river bends, for example, so riders donât stall out.
âThere are thousands of ways [to change flow], Jeff Henry, owner of the Schlitterbahn water parks in Texas, [told Curbed](. âThere are so many ways itâs unbelievable. The slope, the angle, the amount of water⦠everything. Itâs the most complex engineering design there is.â
[Read the Quartz Obsession on Navier-Stokes equations](
By the digits
[5,280 ft (1,600 m):]( Length of the longest lazy river, at BSR Cable Park in Waco, Texas
[$780:]( Nightly fee for a Scottsdale, Arizona Airbnb with its own lazy river
[3 miles per hour (4.8 km per hour):]( Top speed of a lazy river
[0.015:]( Typical [Manning roughness coefficient]( of a lazy river
[$900,000:]( Estimated cost of a 500-ft (152-m) lazy river
[3.5 ft (1 m):]( Typical depth of a lazy river
[10 baht (about $0.50):]( Price to ride an inner tube on Princess Panthip Chumbhotâs estate in Thailand, in 1965
AP Photo/Eric Gay
Origin story
The headwaters
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There are two things you need to enjoy a lazy river: a current of water and a buoyant seat to float on. Nature supplies the first, and American car culture gave us the second. Tubing emerged in the 1910s, when parents began putting spare tires [to good use]( as floatation devices.
But the lazy riverâs origin story gets murkier from there. David Breault of Somerset, Wisconsin is [often credited]( as the inspired mind behind the great American pastime. In July 1941, Life magazine reported that Berault had invented river tubing a few years prior when he began organizing âfloating partiesâ on the all-natural Apple River, as a way to promote his nightclub. In 1965, Sports Illustrated reported that [Thailandâs Princess Panthip Chumbhot brought 100 inner tubes to her countryside estate]( so that guests, and paying customers, could float down the river.
Itâs not clear who channeled this wild idea into an artificial experience, but by 1980, there was one running along the perimeter of the Schlitterbahn, a legendary Texas water park. It wasnât exactly âlazyââ[Texas Monthly describes]( âlight rapids, quick drops, and backwater eddies.â But it sparked a trend, and not just at water parks. Whether youâre in a [Las Vegas casino]( or a [New Jersey mall]( you may just find a river runs through it.
Quotable
âDown below, the Lazy River runs, a neon blue, a crazy blue, a Facebook blue.â
â[Zadie Smith in her short story âLazy Riverâ](
âThank you, Lazy Rivers, for combining my love of crowded public pools with my love of traffic jams.â
â[Comedian Jimmy Fallon](
REUTERS/China Daily
pop quiz
How many Americans visit a water park every year?
20 million210 million50 million85 million
Correct.
Incorrect.
If your inbox doesnât support this quiz, find the solution at bottom of email.
AP Photo/Tammy Ljungblad
Person of interest
River head
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Jeff Henry is a self-taught, 21st-century fontanieri. In 1977, on a trip to Orlando, Henry visited Wet ân Wild and Disneyâs River Country and caught the building bug, [according to Texas Monthly](. Just 22, with no formal education in engineering, physics, or any other discipline, he decided to create a water park from scratch on his familyâs property in New Braunfels, Texas. The Henry family opened Schlitterbahn (German for âslippery roadâ) to the public in 1979. Under Henryâs leadership, they built lazy rivers, the Boogie Bahn (an artificial surface for real boogie boarding), the âwatercoaster,â and more.
But Henryâs reputation as an outlaw reimagining the Wild West of water parks has soured. In 2016, 10-year-old [Caleb Schwab was decapitated]( on the Kansas City Schlitterbahnâs Verrückt waterslide, which stood taller than Niagara Falls. The ride, which Henry reportedly designed to wow filmmakers at the Travel Channel, had proven dangerous throughout its development and long after opening.
The accident brought a good deal of scrutiny to Henry, who [once described]( his engineering methods as a âtrial and errorâ process, and to the Schlitterbahn parks. In 2018, Henry, his long-time collaborator John Schooley, and the Schlitterbahn construction company were charged with aggravated battery, aggravated child endangerment, and second-degree murder, by Kansas City prosecutors, [but the charges were eventually dropped]( the following year.
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Fun fact!
Scientists at the University of Alberta in Canada [calculated that there are 20 gallons (76 liters) of urine on average]( in a 220,0000-gallon (833,000-liter) commercial swimming pool. Thatâs just .01% of the total volume⦠but still.
Giphy
Playlist
Hoagy Carmichael co-wrote the original â(Up A) Lazy Riverâ in 1930. The pop standard has been covered more than 60 times since, including renditions by Louis Armstrong, Bing Crosby, and Michael Bublé. Itâs the perfect tune for a floatââBlue skies up above / everyoneâs in love,â Carmichael croonsâbut donât limit yourself to a single stream. Hereâs a river-themed playlist that will really keep you rolling.
[Listen now](
Giphy
The way we ð now
A major in flotation studies
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Lazy rivers are the physical embodiment of chill. But things got heated in 2015 when Louisiana State University in Baton Rouge embarked on an [$85 million makeover]( of its student athletic facilities. The redesign, funded by a $135 increase in student fees, included construction of a lazy river in the shape of the letters LSU.
The clapback was quick, with every op-ed section from [the Wall Street Journal]( to [the Huffington Post]( deriding the lapping waves of luxury at a time when public universities suffer from dwindling state funding, and students find the financial barriers to college rising higher each year. âThe symbolism of this is worse than the reality of it,â a finance expert at the College Futures Foundation [told Inside Higher Ed]( at the time. And LSU officials were quick to point out the earmarked money couldnât have been spent any other way. But it only fanned the flames.
The controversy wasnât enough to deter other campuses: The University of Central Florida is set to open its long-awaited lazy river [this year](. This time, though, the ârecovery coveâ is being funded by a private donor.
TAKE ME DOWN THIS ð° HOLE!
In the US, [water park (and amusement park) safety regulations]( are left up to individual states to determine. The lack of federal oversight means that there is no single agency keeping track of [injuries and deaths at water parks]( and a wide discrepancy in safety standards and their enforcement. The [death of Caleb Schwab at the Kansas City Schlitterbahn]( was far from the first water park tragedy. In the 1980s, Action Park in Vernon, New Jersey became widely known for being dangerousâinsanely so, by modern standards. As [Jack McCallum writes in a long retrospective for Sports Illustrated]( âanyone involved in Action Park knows it was a product of a different time, a different collective mindset about risk.â
REUTERS/Heinz-Peter Bader
poll
Whatâs your favorite water park feature?
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The lazy riverThe tallest, fastest water slide I can findThe wave poolDry parks for me, thanks
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In yesterdayâs poll about [leopard print]( 29% of you said that you love it on others but itâs too much for your personal style, 33% of you think itâs the tackiest, and 38% wear it all the time. Rawr!
Correction: Yesterdayâs email misidentified Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as a US senator. She is a member of the House of Representatives.
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