Bachelorette parties: The sexual revolution, monetized

The bachelorette party, or “hen do” in the UK, is a relatively new pre-wedding ritual. Brides-to-be now celebrate with destination weekends, male strippers, and wild nights out on the town. They have also become expensive, extravagant, and for many attendees, somewhat stressful—the potentially hefty price tag has many party goers struggling to keep up financially with all that [bachelorette parties]( entail. Why is one last night with the girls so important? Don your “Bride Tribe” t-shirt and get ready for anything. 🐦 [Tweet this!]( 🌐 [View this email on the web]( [Quartz Obsession] Bachelorette parties October 08, 2019 Bride tribe The bachelorette party, or “hen do” in the UK, is a relatively new pre-wedding ritual. Brides-to-be now celebrate with destination weekends, male strippers, and wild nights out on the town. They have also become expensive, extravagant, and for many attendees, somewhat stressful—the potentially hefty price tag has many party goers struggling to keep up financially with all that [bachelorette parties]( entail. Why is one last night with the girls so important? Don your “Bride Tribe” t-shirt and get ready for anything. 🐦 [Tweet this!]( 🌐 [View this email on the web]( Reuters/Jon Nazca By the digits [$1,400:]( Average price of a destination bachelorette party in 2018 [£1 billion:]( Size of the hen party market in the UK [£471:]( Average cost per participant [£110:]( Average cost in 2012 [40%:]( Share of bachelorette party attendees who spend $200 or less on the event [10:]( Average number of attendees at a bachelorette party [5:]( Average number of cocktails consumed per day on a three-day bachelorette party [56%:]( Share of brides-to-be who celebrate their bachelorette parties for two or more days [$300 billion:]( Value of the global wedding industry [$14.99:]( Sale price of a “Happy Penis” piñata on Bachelorette.com Origin story The first last hurrah --------------------------------------------------------------- Long before armies of women in matching outfits took over Nashville bars, men were celebrating bachelor parties. In the 5th century BC, Spartans held [toasts and feasts]( where “the soon-to-be-wed pledged his continued loyalty to his brothers-in-arms.” Fast forward to 1896: P.T. Barnum’s grandson’s Herbert Barnum Seeley attracts police attention for allegedly booking nude belly dancers at his brother’s stag party, dubbed the “[Seeley Bachelor Party Orgy]( In 2003, Thomas Bruderman, then a trader for Fidelity Investments, was [investigated by the SEC]( for paying for a lavish three-day bachelor party on Fidelity’s dime—complete with illegal drugs, prostitutes, and a person with dwarfism booked for entertainment purposes. For women, “bachelorette parties” came much later. Up until the sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s, women were celebrating their upcoming marriages with tame affairs like a wedding shower or brunch, and even if the dress code didn’t call for a hat and gloves, Grandma was usually present. The [advent of male strippers]( most notably Chippendales in 1979, helped usher in the era of bachelorette parties, and also set their tone. In 1976 the Times of London [first used “hen party”]( in 1981 “bachelorette party” appeared in [The New York Times for the first time, in a story about the “21” Club]( in Manhattan, where the soon-to-be first lady of New York State had held hers. Sheila Young, a British researcher who studied hen parties for her PhD, tells HuffPost that hen (and stag) dos didn’t start becoming blow-out rituals [until the 2000s](. While the explosion of the wedding industry (and [reality TV]( has ushered in an era of extravagance in which luxurious accommodations, [custom gear]( and wild expectations often mark the occasion, bachelorette parties are also a ritual highlighting sexual and financial independence. “As the sexual double standard lost some of its power and as women’s rights and freedoms became more pronounced, it has become more socially acceptable for women to acknowledge that they, too, are entitled to a ‘last night of freedom’,” [writes sociologist Beth Montemurro](. Sponsored by Web Summit Join the leaders driving change across every industry at Web Summit. --------------------------------------------------------------- Web Summit has become a global nexus for tech’s most brilliant minds, its most dynamic entrepreneurs, its die-hard advocates, and its fiercest critics. This year they’ll welcome some of the most influential leaders in international politics, non-profits, and global business.[Join them in Lisbon this November.]( Reuters/Lucy Nicholson Pop quiz Which of these is the most popular US destination for bachelorette parties? Las Vegas Nashville Los Angeles Miami Correct. The most popular destination in the UK is Bristol. Incorrect. If your inbox doesn’t support this quiz, find the solution at bottom of email. Fun fact! Bachelorette.com, where you can buy phallic straws, candy, slippers, and lipstick, is owned by Tom Nardone, [a forward-thinking online entrepreneur who founded PriveCo Inc.]( in 1998 to sell items people find embarrassing to purchase in person. Department of Jargon Culture contrast --------------------------------------------------------------- What’s the difference between American “bachelorette parties” and British “hen dos”? It really depends on who is throwing the party, though there are strong opinions on both sides. “The Bachelorette, with its sassy affix, channels the cool glamour of the bachelor’s chilled martini and the urbane, aspirational chic of apartments in luxury skyscrapers,” Tatiana Hambro [writes in Vogue](. “Conversely, The Hen conjures a homespun shed in Granny’s garden overrun by clucking bantams.” Others argue that the American version needs a good dose of British decorum. “[T]he hen do is a weekend-long ritual of love and admiration for the bride given by her friends, who with conspiratorial help from… her fiancé, use traditional games with a dash of British quirk to create an experience that can be as emotional as the wedding itself,” [Sarah Maslin Nir writes in The New York Times](. And as Sam Parker writes in Esquire UK, there’s [a lot men can learn from the more genteel hen do](. Either way, labeling the party makes it a ritual. “The naming is really important,” Beth Montemurro, author of [Something Old, Something Bold: Bridal Showers and Bachelorette Parties told Thrillist](. “Until you put a name on it, it doesn’t really become institutionalized or part of the wedding routine. It becomes something that people can talk about and it’s not like, ‘Oh, are you going out with your friends?’ but, ‘Are you having a bachelorette party?’” Have a friend who would enjoy our Obsession with Bachelorette parties? [ [Forward link to a friend](mailto:?subject=Thought you'd enjoy.&body=Read this Quartz Obsession email – to the email – Giphy Quotable “Our generation is accepting of the fact that women lead single lives much like men do, and a marriage means the end of something for the woman—not just the man.” –Alison Crocker, bachelorette party organizer, [speaking to the Wall Street Journal]( Watch this! Jimmy Kimmel and Guillermo Rodriguez tag along on a bachelorette party in Las Vegas. On the agenda: a pole-dancing class, psychic readings, and sash-adorned bridesmaids doing shots in a party bus. take me down this 🐰 hole! The penis straw hall of fame --------------------------------------------------------------- Nashville, TN has become a popular bachelorette party destination and some locals are less than thrilled by their antics. Others look beyond the tiaras and messy late nights. “They’re not scared of the hotel rates, they’re not on a low budget. They are coming to celebrate,” Butch Spyridon of the Tennessee Tourism Committee told NPR [about Nashville’s bawdy bachelorettes.]( In Buzzfeed, Anne Helen Petersen [explores how it’s transforming the city]( for better or worse. Giphy Movie night Never been to a bachelor or bachelorette party? Live vicariously through these, but keep in mind: Most actual bachelorette parties don’t involve accidental death. [Very Bad Things]( The 1998 bachelor-party-gone-wrong dark comedy takes a turn when five friends accidentally kill a prostitute in a Las Vegas hotel room and the weekend escalates as the group tries to cover up her death. The film was poorly received—as [Roger Ebert]( put it “Peter Berg’s Very Bad Things isn’t a bad movie, just a reprehensible one.” [Rough Night]( Starring Scarlett Johansson, Zoë Kravitz, and Kate McKinnon, Rough Night chronicles five college friends on a bachelorette party in Miami that escalates when a male stripper dies at their rented beach house. The [jet-ski scene]( Kate McKinnon’s Australian accent—steal the show. [Bachelorette]( As three old friends gather for a spur-of-the-moment bachelorette party in New York City for their friend Becky (Rebel Wilson), old tensions and brutal high school nicknames are exposed. The result is a [raunchy, chaotic mess]( of a night that leaves viewers wondering why any of these women are friends. [Bridesmaids]( Though the film focuses on much more than a bachelorette party (cough, that [bridal shower scene]( Bridesmaids perfectly portrays over-the-top, pre-wedding insanity. Perhaps the most accurate scene is the immediate backlash after Annie (Kristen Wiig) attempts to host a [low-key lake house bachelorette party](. [The Hangover]( The 2009 comedy The Hangover follows a group of friends to Caesar’s Palace for a weekend of debauchery that has [unintended results](. The immediate success (and long-lasting legacy) of the film made such an impact on audiences that guests were still [quoting the film]( upon check-in to Caesar’s Palace in 2013. Pro tip Keeping it low key --------------------------------------------------------------- Tasked with planning a hen do or bachelorette party? [Here’s a helpful guide to planning one]( that doesn’t empty your wallet before you even buy a plane ticket to the destination wedding. AP Photo/Lewis Whyld Poll What is the best wedding tradition? [Click here to vote]( Cookie tablesHeartfelt toastsThe cake smashThe first dance 💬let's talk! In yesterday’s poll about [Ebola]( we asked you which was the scariest communicable disease; 48% of you said a flu pandemic, 40% said Ebola, and 12% of you said yellow fever. 🤔 [What did you think of today’s email?](mailto:obsession%2Bfeedback@qz.com?cc=&subject=Thoughts%20about%20Bachelorette%20parties&body=) 💡 [What should we obsess over next?](mailto:obsession%2Bideas@qz.com?cc=&subject=Obsess%20over%20this%20next.&body=) [🎲 Show me a random Obsession]( Today’s email was written by [Hope Corrigan]( edited by [Annaliese Griffin]( and produced by [Luiz Romero](. The correct answer to the quiz is Las Vegas . Enjoying the Quartz Obsession? [Send this link]( to a friend! Want to advertise in the Quartz Obsession? Send us an email at ads@qz.com. Not enjoying it? No worries. [Click here]( to unsubscribe. Quartz | 675 Avenue of the Americas, 4th Fl | New York, NY 10011 | United States [Share this email](