Management moguls are obsessed with feedback. They say it will [save your startup](. Make you a [great manager](. Earn you [millions](. Hell, they promise, itâll resuscitate your [marriage]( and your [sex life]( too.
Theyâre not crazy. A lack of frequent, helpful feedback is among the top reasons people quit their jobs. [Studies show]( that more communicative, honest cultures drive increased productivity, innovation, and employee satisfaction.
We really do want to know how weâre doing. We want to know it often, we want it personalized, we want it conversational, and, perhaps surprisingly, we want it in the morning. But we also fear it, for good reason. Poorly delivered feedback can wreak havoc. At its best, it stirs confusion. At its worst, it breeds fear, resentment, and revenge.
So can we give you[a pointer or two](
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Feedback
October 25, 2018
How are we doing here?
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Management moguls are obsessed with feedback. They say it will [save your startup](. Make you a [great manager](. Earn you [millions](. Hell, they promise, itâll resuscitate your [marriage]( and your [sex life]( too.
Theyâre not crazy. A lack of frequent, helpful feedback is among the top reasons people quit their jobs. [Studies show]( that more communicative, honest cultures drive increased productivity, innovation, and employee satisfaction.
We really do want to know how weâre doing. We want to know it often, we want it personalized, we want it conversational, and, perhaps surprisingly, we want it in the morning. But we also fear it, for good reason. Poorly delivered feedback can wreak havoc. At its best, it stirs confusion. At its worst, it breeds fear, resentment, and revenge.
So can we give you[a pointer or two](
ð¦ [Tweet this!](
ð [View this email on the web](
Reuters/Robert Galbraith
By the digits
[44%:]( Proportion of managers who say they find it stressful and difficult to give negative feedback
[20%:]( of managers who avoid the practice entirely
[40%:]( of leaders who never give positive reinforcement
[13:]( of questions on Googleâs manager-feedback survey (a Google form, naturally). The responses are recorded confidentially, and managers receive a report of anonymized, aggregated feedback.
[40%:]( Proportion of workers who are actively disengaged when they get little or no feedback
Explain it like I'm 5!
Why is it so hard to face the feedback?
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âFeedback is a social threat,â says Ed Batista an executive coach, consultant, and facilitator at Stanford Universityâs Graduate School of Business. And like any threat, itâs accompanied by physiological and cognitive responses, including an increase in heart rate and blood pressure and feelings of anger, anxiety, and fear. Making matters worse, humans are biased towards negativityâthat is, a tendency to over-index negative interactions relative to neutral or positive ones. These physiological responses can inhibit us from effectively processing any feedback that we perceive as threatening to our identities, happiness, and jobs.
As Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone write in [Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well]( feedback is hard to process because it forces us to grapple with two sometimes conflicting core human needs: The drive to learn and grow, which is inherently satisfying, and the drive to be accepted, respected, and loved the way we are now.
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Brief history
The birth of feedback
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The first systematic study of supervisor-employee relations began in 1924 with an experiment at Western Electricâs Hawthorne manufacturing plant. Supervisors wanted to see if improved lighting increased output. It didâbut so did reverting back, and so did making the lighting worse. The results were confusing, so when management dug in, they found something they hadnât controlled for: the supervisor conducting the experiment was friendly. Exposure to light didnât change things; [exposure to a good team leader]( concerned about workplace conditions, did.
This insight led to what are known as the [Hawthorne Studies](. The âopen, conversational, listening, and caring interview approachâ used to examine the workplace turned out to itself help the workplace, and birthed a new set of management tools.
Case study
How Microsoft got microsofter
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In its 1990s heyday, Microsoft was fueled by a sort of [aggressive-geek culture](. Taking its cue from alpha nerd Bill Gates and his hard-charging lieutenant Steve Ballmer, it was obsessed with performance and productivity, and if its take-no-prisoners style alienated employees, so be it.
A lot has [changed](. Since 2014, CEO Satya Nadella has tried to make Microsoft [more empathetic and collaborative](. One initiative is âPerspectives,â a structured way of encouraging employees to solicit opinions from their peers that are less like reviews and more like conversation and coaching. Eventually, they hope, employees wonât need the structure and encouragement to exchange their âperspectives.â
The system very deliberately does not refer to âfeedback.â âEven when you hear the word feedback, you can see a brain light up (in an MRI), and you feel a threat response,â says Kristen Roby Dimlow, the human resources executive in charge of implementing Perspectives. âIf you feel threatened, your brain shuts down.â
Reuters/Christian Hartmann
Pop quiz
What percent of employees say they appreciate feedback, whether positive or negative?
45%22%82%67%
Correct. What's more, according to OfficeVibe, 65% of employees say they want to receive more feedback.
Incorrect.
If your inbox doesnât support this quiz, find the solution at bottom of email.
Dos and Don'ts
8 tips for more effective feedback
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- Do personalize your feedback relationships. Learn how your teammates prefer to give and receive feedback up front. You can even encourage your team members to write [a user manual]( that will explain their values, tendencies, and preferred methods for working with others.
- Donât use the âshit sandwichâ (sneaking negative feedback between two âslicesâ of praise). Instead, Venture capitalist Ben Horowitz suggests giving â[high-frequency feedback]( âYou should have an opinion on every forecast, every product plan, every presentation and even every comment,â he has opined.
- Do deliver feedback privately. âDonât clown people in front of their peers,â Horowitz says.
- Do allow for breathing room. Many [feedback experts suggest waiting a few hours]( or a day, before critiquing a colleague if theyâre upset about their performance. Butâ¦
- Donât wait too long. A good rule of thumb is not waiting more than 24 hours, as the specific details will start to fade away.
- Do deliver negative feedback [in the morning]( not first thing, but sooner in the day than later. Our capacity for self-regulation plummets when weâre worn out, which makes us significantly more likely to deny the validity and importance of negative feedback, and make us less willing to seek self-improvement based on this knowledge.
- Do avoid lecturing. Feedback should come in welcoming, two-way conversations. Mark Murphy, author of [Truth at Work: The Science of Delivering Tough Messages]( recommends a 50-50 split between questions and statements.
- Do remember to [also offer constructive praise](. One study found that high-performing teams receive [nearly six times more positive feedback]( than less effective teams.
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Million-dollar question
How to deal with negative feedback
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Feedback of any kind is an opportunity to improve. Donât squander the chance to learn from it, even if itâs hard to hear. Try to avoid reacting impulsively, defensively, or [over-apologetically](. But do take the opportunity, once the dust has settled, to [clarify how you can improve](.
The first step in responding to negative feedback of any kind is to do some thinking and figure out if you agree or disagree with it. Then, depending on the answer,[ask yourself these questions]( to guide your next steps.
Quotable
âFeedback is your relationship with the world and the worldâs relationship with you, itâs the way that youâre impacting other people, for better or worse. So itâs all around youâthe question is just whether youâre paying attention to it.â
[âHarvard Law School lecturer Sheila Heen, a co-leader of Harvardâs Negotiation Project and co-founder of Triad Consulting Group](
Reuters/Chris Wattie
Take me down this ð°hole
Kids need feedback too
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When it comes to raising kids, knowing how to give feedback can go further than tending to lavish praise. âFeedback is distinct from praise in that it engages with a childâs efforts rather than simply passing a value judgment on them,â [Joanna Pocock]( writes. âHow do we foster in our children a desire to learn, rather than a desire to please us? One simple way is to praise the effort over the outcome. Not only does this encourage them to keep doing whatever it is, it takes the focus away from âgoodâ and âbad,â placing it on the idea that working toward something can be its own reward.â
Charted[atlas_SJc_TTlC-@2x]
Take me down this ð° hole!
Ever had a cashier ask you to fill out an online survey? Of course you have. Have you done it? Of course not. Thatâs the inspiration behind [HappyOrNot terminals]( which rate services with the press of one frowny- or smiley-face buttonâa silly looking yet powerful device that provides real-time feedback from customers in places like Heathrow Airport and the San Francisco 49ersâ football stadium.
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Poll
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