🔨💔Emotional labor: Are you carrying a mental load?

It’s been decades since sociologists first noticed that there’s an emotional component to work. In retrospect, it seems obvious: As the service economy grew, it meant the system (“The Man,” if you will) needed workers in people-facing roles to have sunny demeanors that reflected well on their employers. And because those workers were generally women, gender dynamics played a major role. The service sector is still growing, but more significantly, our concept of what emotional labor is—and who performs it—has become much more nuanced. Although the phrase once conjured a flight attendant’s forced smile, today it’s shorthand for a certain type of gendered inequity that manifests itself in offices, homes, and relationships of all kinds. If you poll a dozen people on their definition of emotional labor, you’ll likely get close to a dozen different answers. That’s because unpacking the intersection of work life, home life, and gender is no easy task. But hey, somebody’s got do it—right, ladies? 🌐 [View this email on the web]( [Quartz Obsession] Emotional labor May 15, 2018 Heavy lifting --------------------------------------------------------------- It’s been decades since sociologists first noticed that there’s an emotional component to work. In retrospect, it seems obvious: As the service economy grew, it meant the system (“The Man,” if you will) needed workers in people-facing roles to have sunny demeanors that reflected well on their employers. And because those workers were generally women, gender dynamics played a major role. The service sector is still growing, but more significantly, our concept of what emotional labor is—and who performs it—has become much more nuanced. Although the phrase once conjured a flight attendant’s forced smile, today it’s shorthand for a certain type of gendered inequity that manifests itself in offices, homes, and relationships of all kinds. If you poll a dozen people on their definition of emotional labor, you’ll likely get close to a dozen different answers. That’s because unpacking the intersection of work life, home life, and gender is no easy task. But hey, somebody’s got do it—right, ladies? 🌐 [View this email on the web]( By the digits [95%:]( Proportion of new job growth that will be in the service sector by 2024, according to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics [14%:]( Amount by which a man who stayed late at work and offered to help a coworker was ranked more favorably than a woman who did the same thing, in a 2005 study [1 in 5:]( Number of men in the US who do some form of housework on a given day, compared to almost [half of all women]( [52%:]( Proportion of women who say they’re burning out from carrying their families’ mental load, according to the 2017 Modern Family Index [49:]( Pages of comments in the condensed MetaFilter thread on emotional labor Giphy What is emotional labor? --------------------------------------------------------------- Once upon a time, the phrase had a very [narrow meaning](. The term was coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild in [The Managed Heart: Commercialization of Human Feeling](. Published in 1983, her book described the need for workers to regulate their emotions to satisfy their customers (and ultimately, their employers). Hochschild argued that employees—particularly those in service-oriented industries, such as flight attendants, bank tellers, or restaurant waitstaff—were required to smile, be polite, and act engaging toward customers (even the most brutish ones), which could lead to them to feel estranged from their own emotions. A decade later, professors Mary Ellen Guy and Meredith Newman argued that [emotional labor exacerbates the wage gap]( between genders. Emotive tasks in the form of “caring, negotiating, empathizing, smoothing troubled relationships, and working behind the scenes to enable cooperation, are required components of many women’s jobs,” they noted, yet because these tasks are “excluded from job descriptions and performance evaluations, the work is invisible and uncompensated.” These days, we’re using the term more generally (and, to some, [frustratingly]( to refer to what you might otherwise describe as “[shit someone does that goes unrecognized]( more simply, “[the mental load]( And usually, the someone who tends to get stuck doing that kind of stuff is a woman. please draw it instead[obs emotional labor] [Emma]( hilariously illustrates how men and women have differing perspectives on emotional labor in her post [The Mental Load – You Should’ve Asked.]( Reuters/Paul Yeung Brief history [1977:]( Harvard professor Rosabeth Moss Kanter notes that women perform a lot of labor in the office with very little returns in her book Men and Women of the Corporation. [1983:]( Sociologist Arlie Hochschild coins the term “emotional labor” in The Managed Heart: Commercialization of Human Feeling. [1991:]( A study suggests that in contrast to other jobs where employees are required to be chipper, bill collectors were hired for their propensity to show irritation to debtors. [1993:]( Professors Mary Ellen Guy and Meredith Newman argue that emotional labor contributes to exacerbating the wage gap between genders. [1996:]( Researchers use the term “emotional proletariat” to describe service roles, largely occupied by women, in which workers “are required to display friendliness and deference to customers.” [1999:]( Research examines the heavy emotional labor involved in the traditionally masculine role of police work. [2005:]( A study posits that physicians engage in emotional labor through the empathy they feel for their patients. [2010:]( HBR chronicles a surge in studies of emotional labor as it applies to the C-suite. [2015:]( On daily blog site The Toast, writer Jess Zimmerman turns the lens of emotional labor on personal relationships. [2017:]( A popular article in Harper’s Bazaar pinpoints the way these dynamics play out in the home. Giphy Pop quiz Which is not technically an emotional labor situation? Maintaining a smiling dispositionFaking an orgasmOrganizing a Secret Santa event Correct. Technically no, but this invisible work falls disproportionately on women. Incorrect. Researchers have argued that certain women endure unsatisfying sex to provide their male partners with feelings of power and sexual skillfulness. If your inbox doesn’t support this quiz, find the solution at bottom of email. Quotable “For Black women, emotional labor is conveniently couched within the ‘Strong Black Woman’ stereotype. Black women are expected to be responsible for themselves, their partners, their children, their parents, their communities, their work and school responsibilities and, maybe…eventually…if there’s time… their own well-being — all without ever breaking a sweat.” — Lincoln Hill on [Unbound]( Giphy How does emotional labor play out in modern workplaces? --------------------------------------------------------------- In conversation, “emotional labor” can capture everything ranging from organizing office get-togethers, taking notes during meetings, maintaining a smiling disposition, and mentoring colleagues. For someone looking to turn a blind eye to emotional labor, the term’s expansiveness provided a convenient “out” of the conversation. After all, if everything is emotional labor, then nothing is, right? To be sure, organizing the office Secret Santa doesn’t exactly fit Hochschild’s original definition (i.e. the requirement to satisfy the emotional needs of a customer). There’s a subtler dynamic in today’s workplace exchanges: It boils down to the touchy-feely work that women do that goes unrecognized, and the way this impacts their career trajectories and compensation. University of Notre Dame sociology professor Jessica Collett [told the Guardian’s Rose Hackman]( that “even in prestigious industries men and women may both be engaged in the same degree of emotional labor formally, but women are expected to provide extra emotional labor on the side.” For example, she says, both men and women might be expected to schmooze with clients “but women may be expected, on top of this, to contribute to office harmony by remembering colleagues’ birthdays, or making small chit-chat to staff.” And if a woman doesn’t do these things? [Research suggests]( she’s penalized, whereas men who refuse this kind of work suffer no ill effects. Meanwhile, when men do take on the extra labor, they’re ostentatiously praised (“Isn’t he sweet and generous with his time?”) while women get no extra credit. Organizational psychologist Adam Grant and Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg give this invisible work another name: “Office Housework.” In [a joint op-ed in the New York Times]( in 2015, they referenced research that suggested “professional women in business, law and science are still expected to bring cupcakes, answer phones and take notes” and that “women engage more privately in time-consuming activities like assisting others and mentoring colleagues.” Men, on the other hand, “are more likely to contribute with visible behaviors—like showing up at optional meetings.” The result: “Women’s communal contributions tend simply to ‘disappear,’” and women burn out faster “because they fail to secure their own oxygen masks before assisting others.” Fun fact! Emotional-labor researchers look at how workers engage in “surface acting” (faking it outwardly) or “deep acting” (meaning they actually alter their real feelings to be in line with expectations). Interestingly, it’s the “faking-it” mode that exacts [a greater toll]( on mental health. 🐦 [Tweet this]( Watch this! In this NSFW Sex and the City clip, the ladies question why men should “get a medal for correctly identifying a feeling.” take me down this 🐰 hole! Ready to tackle emotional labor in your home?[Annaliese Griffin has some suggestions for where to begin]( it doesn’t even have to be Mother’s Day. quotable ii “Even having a conversation about the imbalance of emotional labor becomes emotional labor.” — Gemma Hartley in [Harper’s Bazaar]( Reuters/Christian Hartmann Poll How much do you think about emotional labor? [Click here to vote]( Not thinking about it is the definition of privilegeI will more now that you mentioned itCan we just get back to work already? The fine print In yesterday’s poll about [musk]( (no, not [Musk]( 68% of you said “if an animal has vampire fangs, we probably shouldn’t mess with it.” Today’s email was written by [Khe Hy,]( edited by [Jessanne Collins]( and produced by [Luiz Romero](. sound off ✏️ [What did you think of today’s email?](mailto:obsession%2Bfeedback@qz.com?cc=&subject=Thoughts%20about%20emotional%20labor.%20&body=) 💡 [What should we obsess over next?](mailto:obsession%2Bideas@qz.com?cc=&subject=Obsess%20over%20this%20next.&body=) 🤔 [What have you been obsessed with this week?](mailto:obsession%2Bprompt@qz.com?cc=&subject=%0ATake%20us%20down%20a%20rabbit%20hole.%20&body=) 📬 [Forward this email to a friend](mailto:replace_with_friends_email@qz.com?cc=obsession%2Bforward@qz.com&subject=%F0%9F%94%A8%F0%9F%92%94Emotional%20labor%3A%20Are%20you%20carrying%20a%20mental%20load%3F&body=Thought%20you%27d%20enjoy.%20%0A%0ARead%20it%20here%20http%3A%2F%2Fqz.com%2Femail%2Fquartz-obsession%2F1278214%2F%0ASign%20up%20for%20the%20newsletter%20at%20http%3A%2F%2Fqz.com%2Fquartz-obsession) The correct answer to the quiz is Organizing a Secret Santa event. Enjoying the Quartz Obsession? [Send this link]( to a friend! If you click a link to an e-commerce site and make a purchase, we may receive a small cut of the revenue, which helps support our ambitious journalism. See [here]( for more information. Not enjoying it? No worries. [Click here]( to unsubscribe. Quartz | 675 Avenue of the Americas, 4th Fl | New York, NY 10011 | United States [Share this email](