"Urning" by Layli Long Soldier

[View this email on a browser]( [Forward to a friend]( [facebook-icon]( [tumblr-icon]( [twitter-icon]( January 11, 2018 [Urning]( [Layli Long Soldier]( * bring us to dark knots the black eyes along white aspen skin to scrape with a rock on surface where I press I carve the initials of all and ** *** bring us to a returning no an urning a vessel of corpse ash in the active state of being held by two hands positioned gripping the sides to tip and scatter my night dream of an acquaintance who presented me a ledger opened to a page handwritten in pencil dates names and meetings **** ***** I said I don’t want to see it I don’t want to know if my father betrayed me as the words left my dream mouth I woke I shook to the bone a hot line notched from heart to elbow throbbing vein-ache in my body how I’d replaced another man’s name -a man I once loved I mean to say- with the word father in a flash the sleeping eye ripped me from denial I’m not so complex see my mind unclothed is a crying newborn predictable aspen leaves in untimed wind-filled rhythm my mother turned eighty what at that age is left to surprise though suddenly the tone here shifts to listen she said I don’t know if I ever said when I was pregnant with you I found out he’d cheated I threw ****** into the yard I locked him out pregnant with you I cried and I cried so long and hard I thought I was going to die yes she said it a heavy bass line beneath aspen music and timbre I sit on the patio to smoke I think at night always at night maybe ’cause I was born / at night or my name means night God bless my mother she believed my name meant pure spirit so it may be the darkest hours are when I’m purest when I am I I am fluid a clear stream over rock or ******* as poetry goes ******** I think about a baby in utero I can’t help but wonder what the baby knows a study says babies and toddlers remember through impression not specifics I rummage the syllables and stress of each line in ********* impression is a mark on the surface caused by pressure or a quick undetailed sketch or the imitation of someone / I carried her nine months beneath my own skin her small toes relaxed her eyes shut within me her fingertips pressed into palms she made a fist or was it a symbol for the Sun what rising what of battle my child knows scares me to the pure the one I I burn in question * may all the grief ** may all *** the loss **** all your misdeeds ***** love of my soul ****** all his things ******* spit in a cup ******** night is a womb ********* the definition [Like this on Facebook]( [Share via Twitter]( Copyright © 2018 Layli Long Soldier. Used with permission of the author. About This Poem “I am always trying to understand myself better. This poem is one of many poems I’ve written in that attempt. The seed for this poem came from a dream, which I consider one of the most surreal and truthful sources for writing.” —Layli Long Soldier [Layli Long Soldier]( Layli Long Soldier is the author of WHEREAS (Graywolf Press, 2017). She is a poet, artist, educator, and mother. She resides in Santa Fe, New Mexico. [Whereas]( Poetry by Long Soldier [WHEREAS]( (Graywolf Press, 2017) "Twenty-One Love Poems [(The Floating Poem, Unnumbered)]" by Adrienne Rich [read-more]( "Coherence in Consequence" by Claudia Rankine [read-more]( "Native Memory" by Ansel Elkins [read-more]( January Guest Editor: Kaveh Akbar Thanks to Kaveh Akbar, author of Calling a Wolf a Wolf (Alice James Books, 2017), who curated Poem-a-Day this month. Read more about [Akbar]( and our other [guest editors for the year.]( Help Support Poem-a-Day If you value Poem-a-Day, please consider a [monthly donation]( or [one-time gift]( to help make it possible. Poem-a-Day is the only digital series publishing new, previously unpublished work by today’s poets each weekday morning. The free series, which also features a curated selection of classic poems on weekends, reaches 450,000+ readers daily. Thank you! [Small-Blue-RGB-poets.org-Logo]( Thanks for being a part of the Academy of American Poets community. To learn about other programs, including National Poetry Month, Poem in Your Pocket Day, the annual Poets Forum, and more, visit [Poets.org](. You are receiving this e-mail because you elected to subscribe to our mailing list. If you would like to unsubscribe, please click [here](. © Academy of American Poets 75 Maiden Lane, Suite 901, New York, NY 10038