From Russia With Mowie Wowie

Brittney Griner gets nine years in a Russian prison for carrying pot into Russia. Were you forwarded this email? [Sign-up to Rude Awakening here.]( [The Rude Awakening] August 05, 2022 [WEBSITE]( | [UNSUBSCRIBE]( From Russia With Mowie Wowie - US Basketball star Brittney Griner gets nine years in prison. - She carried pot into Russia, a country where it’s illegal. - Griner plays basketball professionally in Russia during the WNBA offseason. Recommended Link [Trump’s Secret Legacy]( [Click here for more...]( In late July, the Trump administration oversaw a RADICAL change to the tech world… one that could unleash a huge wave of disruption… prosperity… and wealth creation in the near future. Chances are, you haven’t heard about it until today. But according to one of America’s most respected tech forecasters, it’s set to create small fortunes right here in this country. He recently went on camera to explain why... [Click Here To View The Footage]( Sean Ring Editor, Rude Awakening Happy Friday! Grab that most excellent cup of joe and a seat. I’m going to do something I’ve never done while writing the Rude. I will attempt to write about something I don’t give a toss about. I don’t care about women’s sports. I don’t care about marijuana. And I definitely don’t care if someone gets thrown in jail for stupidly carrying drugs onto international flights. But boy, has this story got some legs or what? It all started with an innocent giggle via Telegram from a good friend and Rude reader, Moose of Columbus. He sent me this article, courtesy of [The Babylon Bee]( Credit: [Babylon Bee]( Honestly, I nearly wet my pants when I read it. Here’s an excerpt from the article: "I'm thrilled with this ruling," said Griner to reporters. "For 9 years I will be free from the systemic racism of America and will never have to hear that awful national anthem being played. I look forward to living out the next decade far away in beautiful Russia." Sources close to Griner say she is also thrilled that she got the exact same sentence a man would have gotten for the exact same crime. "In Russia, they really seem to care about closing the sentencing gap between men and women," she said. Russian authorities say Griner will be given special tasks around the penal colony, such as reaching things on high shelves, pruning the tops of trees, and breaking large rocks into little rocks. "I just want to say thank you to Vladimir Putin for saving me from the racist hellhole that is the United States, if only for 9 years," said Griner. That’s some sarcastic stuff from those God-fearing Christian writers. In today’s Rude, I’ll talk about why I don’t care about this silly stuff… and why I do. Women’s Sports Suck I get it if you have a daughter. You’ve got to pretend that women’s sports are as valid a form of entertainment as men’s sports are. You’ve got to suffer through inept, uncoordinated, and embarrassing performances while giving a cringing standing ovation lest your little girl cry. But for those of us blessed with sons, we don’t have to put up with your delusions. Women’s sports suck the big one. All day, every day. Seriously, have you ever watched the opening rounds of women’s tennis at Wimbledon? It’s like watching America’s Funniest Home Videos. They barely keep the ball within the white lines. I bet my high school’s boy players can beat almost every one of the girls at Wimbledon. It’s just awful to watch. Or very funny. Or both. I remember when [John McEnroe said Serena Williams would be ranked 700th]( if men’s and women’s rankings would be combined. There’s no doubt that Serena is a female tennis legend. But if you’ve got to append “female” to the front of “legend,” that means men do it better. With that said, if there’s a market for women’s sports and people want to pay for it, I won’t stand in anyone’s way. In fact, that’s the best part. A niche market gets served, customers get entertained, players get paid, and entrepreneurial organizers get rich. God bless them, and keep it coming! I think of all this because the only thing I care less about than women’s tennis is women’s basketball. Sure, I was amazed when Rebecca Lobo led UConn past Tennessee in the NCAA Women’s Tournament all those years ago. But it was a passing fancy for me. I wouldn’t watch the WNBA because of it. So I had no idea who Brittney Griner was until she got arrested for marijuana possession in Russia. Recommended Link [Attention! Before You Read Any Further…]( Before you read any further in today’s issue, an urgent situation needs your immediate attention. If you don’t plan on [claiming this new upgrade to your Strategic Intelligence subscription]( you’re missing out on a huge opportunity. Right now is your chance to grab one of the biggest (and most valuable) upgrades our company has ever made to a newsletter. I’m taking Strategic Intelligence to an entirely new level and I’d hate to see you left behind. [Click Here Now]( If You Like Your Drugs, You Can Do Your Drugs I don’t care that Griner likes marijuana. Have a day! It’s enormously hypocritical for someone to say, “Well, booze is legal, and pot isn’t.” They’re both drugs. One’s legal because we know how well Prohibition worked. The War on Drugs is equally unsuccessful. And we know horrible things are often legal, like slavery. Quite frankly, after this trip to New York, I will donate my liver to science. What a party it’s been! Sure, I think [NYC smells like weed]( and I don’t like it. But that’s just a personal preference. I don’t think pot should be banned just because I don’t like how it smells. But Not All Countries Like Your Drugs You deserve to get arrested if you’re stupid enough to carry illegal drugs on a plane. Especially if you’re drawing checks from a country currently banned by your home country. Remember when a young American in Singapore, [Michael Fay, got caught vandalizing the city-state]( President Clinton got the rattan lashes - man, they must hurt! - reduced from six to four and that was about it. There was nothing else he could do. Hilariously, many Americans at the time were cheering on the Singaporeans and wished for stricter sentencing laws in the States! Today, you get executed if you get caught flying into Singapore with drugs. That’s it—end of story. Just ask Johannes Van Damme. Or maybe not. He was the [Dutchman executed for carrying 9.5 pounds of heroin]( into Singapore. Singaporean law prevailed again. We’ve Got Bigger Fish to Fry. With Nancy flying around Asia, inflation raging, and the real economy tanking, we’ve got bigger fish to fry than worrying about a grown woman making bad packing decisions. Brittney Griner is an adult who thought she could get away with one. She didn’t. In fact, to reduce her sentence, she pled guilty to the charge. So Deep State and Creepy Joe claiming that Griner was “wrongfully detained” is a bit of a laugh. Again, I have sympathy for Griner. But this is amateur hour stuff. There are far more critical things to worry about. Wrap Up My guess is Griner will be released early. Moscow and DC will get to a prisoner swap deal eventually. Griner may suffer some more in Russian prisons, but she won’t be there for long. In the meantime, I hope America’s diplomats get working on far more critical things. Like putting out all the fires their President and Speaker of the House have started. Have a wonderful weekend! All the best, Sean Ring Editor, Rude Awakening [ARCHIVE]( | [ABOUT]( | [CONTACT US]( Rude Awakening is committed to protecting and respecting your privacy. We do not rent or share your email address. By submitting your email address, you consent to Paradigm Press delivering daily email issues and advertisements. 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