Young Pakistanis Question Masculinity

www.ozy.com [OZY]() Your World. Bold & Bright [Daily Dose]( Sponsored by [Cariuma]( The newsletter to fuel — and thrill — your mind. Read for deep dives into the unmissable ideas and topics shaping our world. May 23, 2022 Today Pakistan’s alpha male has lost. For half a century Imran Khan – the country’s cricket captain-turned-prime minister – was the poster child of “manliness” across South Asia. When he would race in to bowl, his mane blowing in the wind, hearts would skip a beat throughout the cricketing world. But his ouster from the position of prime minister last month after a months-long political crisis has also coincided with a growing chorus, from both men and women, that’s challenging long-held norms of masculinity in traditionally conservative Pakistan. Today’s Daily Dose explores the pressures of masculinity in Pakistan and its neighborhood, and the winds of change that are starting to blow.   – with reporting by Yalnaz Baig from Karachi, Pakistan [Trust the numbers]( [Cariuma]( We’ve told you how good these shoes are, but if you don’t want to take our word for it, or the words of over 15,000 5-star reviewers… consider this. [Over 61,000 people]( were on the wait list to get their hands on these, and they are now back in stock. (For now.) Take your choice of over 10 colors. Don’t see them included in any Memorial Day sales? Don’t worry, today Ozy readers receive an exclusive [$15 off with the code OZY2022](. [Shop Now]( The real deal on the pressure to be masculine “You’re told to be bahadur” Mohammad Ahmed Ali, a 22-year-old student at the Institute of Business Administration in Karachi, Pakistan’s most populous city, recalls being told from around the age of seven or eight to be bahadur. This Urdu word translates as brave or strong. “I was always told to not cry because I am a boy and boys do not cry,” he explained in a recent interview via Zoom. “If we men share our feelings, we are considered to be deviating from our manhood and are thought to be becoming like a woman, which is thought to be a bad thing in our society.” Hustle to be “manly” “It’s a man’s world,” sang James Brown. It’s true that women are likely to be oppressed and exploited. Less often talked about, though, is the pain associated with being a man. From early childhood, boys in Pakistan and around the world experience pressure to be masculine. They may be teased for their desire to play with kitchen toys or for wearing pink or “feminine” clothes. Boys learn that something is wrong with them if they do not appear manly, and this pressure follows them at every stage in life. As Indian lifestyle site MenXSP recently noted, it’s [a constant hustle]( to appear muscular and successful. A shared experience “I have felt these pressures since I can remember,” said Ali. It was a warm, summery day in Karachi and three of us were chatting after university classes, six days before my Zoom interview with Ali. I was unsure what Ali was talking about until I noticed how he and Abdullah, a mutual friend, made eye contact, an indication that this was an experience they shared. [What do supermodel Nina Adgel, comedian Pete Davidson, and actress Helen Mirren have in common?]( [Cariuma]( They've all been seen stepping out at A-list celebrity events like the Cannes Film Festival in comfy and stylish [Cariuma]( sneakers. It's no wonder, with bold and saturated colors that are fashion-first and Internet-famous, that these are the shoes of the moment. Don’t see them included in any Memorial Day sales? Don’t worry, [Ozy get $15 off](. Use the code OZY2022. [Shop Now]( Times, they are a changin’ On screen [Guru, a character in the new Pakistani TV drama Parizaad, is a Luca Brasi-like enforcer]( for a Pakistani mafioso. He’s dangerous. He’s also intersex, and away from his day job, he’s a sensitive individual who takes care of other vulnerable LGBTQ people, sheltering and protecting them from violence. Guru is an example of the growing ways in which some within Pakistan’s entertainment industry are challenging stereotypes of masculinity. And they’re facing pressure to do more from other public figures, like writer [Nemrah Ahmad Niazi]( and actress [Saba Qamar](, who earlier this year called out the TV industry for not doing enough to challenge toxic masculinity. Off the field Even male cricketers — otherwise godlike figures on the subcontinent — are no longer immune from criticism when they misbehave. In a recent televised interview, former [Pakistani cricket captain Sarfaraz Ahmed]( referred to an incident from 2013 when he was struggling with his form. His wife told him to double down on his batting practice. Ahmed recounted to the show’s host how he’d told his wife to mind her business, and that he didn’t need her to coach him. These comments sparked a flood of online criticism, with social media users describing them as “disturbing.” Jarar, one Twitter user, wrote: “It is this exact concept of ‘Aurat hai usko kuch nahi pata [a woman doesn’t know anything]’ which perpetuates and feeds toxic masculinity and patriarchy.” In everyday life This shift in thinking doesn’t only involve public figures and celebrities. Ali referred to a statement from famous Indian actor Sanjay Dutt in which he publicly [said]( that men are not supposed to do house work or look after babies. Ali noted: “I completely disagree with that notion. This is what toxic masculinity is. I do not think that doing my own chores and looking after my own kids will make me any less of a man.” WATCH LEYNA BLOOM on [The Carlos Watson Show](! [Leyna Bloom on TCWS]( The hidden dangers of masculinity Young and aggressive Duke University researchers Sarah Gaither and Adam Stanaland have [hypothesized]( that younger men are more sensitive to threats to their masculinity because they are in their critical identity-formation years. Their research findings [indicate]( that men who base their self-perception on others’ opinions are more likely to become aggressive in response to threats, and the more aggressive they become, the stronger they feel. Unhealthy habits As licensed social worker Amy Morin has [written](, being “masculine” is associated with the rejection of healthy habits and, often, unhealthy and self-destructive behaviors. These include excessive drinking, neglecting one’s own health and healthcare, rejecting nutritious foods and physically pushing one’s body, even during sickness or injury. Double pressure for Asian American men Researchers Alexander Lu and Y. Joel Wong have [studied]( how racial stereotypes disadvantage Asian American men — particularly East Asian men — in the hierarchy of masculinity in the U.S., creating a dynamic in which they must both prove their masculinity and overcome racial stereotypes. Lu and Wong observed that the men who participated in their research tended to restrict their emotional expression, thus limiting their capacity for intimate relationships and creating further stresses and threats to their well-being. Pressure can turn deadly Professor of sociology Murray Knuttila of Brook University, Canada, contends that [boys aren’t born tough]( but become that way due to how they’re cultured and raised. If they can’t measure up, the pressure to be something they are not can become too much to bear. In 2018 the American Psychological Association published its first-ever Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Boys and Men, based on research gathered over four decades. It showed that men are [3.5 times more likely]( than women to commit suicide. Community Corner Have you felt the pressures of masculinity? Do you feel that society is becoming any more accepting of men expressing emotion? Share your thoughts with us at OzyCommunity@Ozy.com. ABOUT OZY OZY is a diverse, global and forward-looking media and entertainment company focused on “the New and the Next.” OZY creates space for fresh perspectives, and offers new takes on everything from news and culture to technology, business, learning and entertainment. [www.ozy.com]( / #OZY Curiosity. Enthusiasm. Action. That’s OZY! 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