Opinion Today: The virtues of being bad

In a world that moralizes maybe a bit too much, there is power in being a little bit bad. [View in browser](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP4QpAWh0dHBzOi8vbWVzc2FnaW5nLWN1c3RvbS1uZXdzbGV0dGVycy5ueXRpbWVzLmNvbS90ZW1wbGF0ZS9vYWt2Mj9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDgyNSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMDA4NTEmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZwcm9kdWN0Q29kZT1UWSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTQyODc5JnRlPTEmdXJpPW55dCUzQSUyRiUyRm5ld3NsZXR0ZXIlMkZjMGExYzA0OS1iYTZlLTUyMTAtOTA4Yy0xNGYxOTBkYzkwOTImdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0Qgpk5yGY6GSzhE6aUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~)|[nytimes.com](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0SxaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwODI1Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEwMDg1MSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNDI4NzkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmTnIZjoZLOETppSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~)[Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-ad-marquee) [Marquee Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0SYaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MTYyMTM5JmxpPVRZJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1UWV8yMDIzMDgyNSZ0ZT0xJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyMzA4MjVXA255dEIKZOchmOhks4ROmlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD) [Read more from Opinion](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0TAaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vc2VjdGlvbi9vcGluaW9uP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwODI1Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEwMDg1MSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNDI4NzkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmTnIZjoZLOETppSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) August 25, 2023 [Author Headshot] By Cornelia Channing Editorial Assistant, Sunday Opinion One thing about me is that I love to crash a party. Wedding receptions. Fund-raisers. Family reunions. Children’s birthdays. Fourth of July barbecues. Fiftieth wedding anniversaries. You name it. I haven’t done it in a few years, but it used to be a fairly regular part of my life. I grew up in a town on Long Island where — nearly every weekend throughout the summer — someone somewhere was throwing a big party. And, though I can’t quite remember how it started, at some point, when we were in high school, my older sister and I got into the habit of attending these events uninvited. We would show up in our best clothes, drink expensive wine and mingle with strangers — outwardly feigning nonchalance, while inwardly feeling thrilled by our little con. Sometimes we made up stories about ourselves, sometimes we didn’t talk to anyone and simply observed. Shockingly, we were never found out. Or maybe some of the hosts noticed and were simply too nice to kick us out. Looking back, most of the parties themselves were not so interesting. They were your typical fancy summer fare. What was fun was the sense of risk and adventure. The rule-breaking. At any moment, we might be caught, exposed. We shouldn’t be there, but we were. In [a guest essay today](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0TcaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wOC8yNS9vcGluaW9uL2Rlc2lyZXMtZ29vZC1wZXJzb24uaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDgyNSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMDA4NTEmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTQyODc5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0Qgpk5yGY6GSzhE6aUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~), the writer and psychoanalyst Jamieson Webster argues that these small, everyday acts of transgression are more profound than we may think. They are, in fact, integral to our human-ness. “I find that it’s when we dwell on our secret enjoyments that we learn the most about ourselves,” writes Webster. She argues that we live in deeply moralizing times, and reports that many of her patients are wracked with guilt and anxiety about not being “good” enough — and that one solution to such anxiety is to release that pressure altogether. Transgressive acts, even small ones, can help us do just that. By creating an internal tension, they remind us that “we are contradictory creatures, wondrously and terrifyingly so.” [Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-universal-0) ADVERTISEMENT [Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0SXaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9NTk3ODUmbGk9VFkmbT1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkNyZwPVRZXzIwMjMwODI1JnRlPTEmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDgyNVcDbnl0Qgpk5yGY6GSzhE6aUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~) And so, to help remind readers of the importance of being just a little bit bad, Times Opinion also asked [16 writers to confess to their own small transgressions](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0TqaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vaW50ZXJhY3RpdmUvMjAyMy8wOC8yNS9vcGluaW9uL2JhZC1wbGVhc3VyZXMtdmlydHVlcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwODI1Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEwMDg1MSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNDI4NzkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmTnIZjoZLOETppSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) — from shoplifting to drunken lying to playing extravagantly violent video games. What emerged was a portrait of human complexity, and a tribute to the salutary role that small acts of everyday defiance play in otherwise responsible, rule-abiding adult lives. This was an immensely fun project to work on, and one that I hope will encourage readers to reflect on how they might cultivate or embrace small transgressions in their own lives. I, for one, am looking forward to spending my Labor Day weekend with my sister, dolled up in our best outfits, drinking a stranger’s wine. Read the features: [[Article Image] Rinee Shah](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0TqaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vaW50ZXJhY3RpdmUvMjAyMy8wOC8yNS9vcGluaW9uL2JhZC1wbGVhc3VyZXMtdmlydHVlcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwODI1Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEwMDg1MSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNDI4NzkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmTnIZjoZLOETppSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) [The Pleasures of Being a Little Bit Bad We asked 16 mostly responsible adults about the irresponsible, immoral, indulgent things they do.](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0TqaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vaW50ZXJhY3RpdmUvMjAyMy8wOC8yNS9vcGluaW9uL2JhZC1wbGVhc3VyZXMtdmlydHVlcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwODI1Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEwMDg1MSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNDI4NzkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmTnIZjoZLOETppSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) [[Article Image] Pablo Delcan](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0TcaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wOC8yNS9vcGluaW9uL2Rlc2lyZXMtZ29vZC1wZXJzb24uaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDgyNSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMDA4NTEmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTQyODc5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0Qgpk5yGY6GSzhE6aUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~) [GUEST ESSAY Why You Should Listen to Your Worst Instincts You want what you want because you want it. 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By Lydia Polgreen](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0TwaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wOC8yNC9vcGluaW9uL3NhdWRpLWFyYWJpYS1ldGhpb3BpYW5zLWJvcmRlci1wb2xpdGljcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwODI1Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEwMDg1MSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNDI4NzkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmTnIZjoZLOETppSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) [Article Image](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0TwaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wOC8yNC9vcGluaW9uL3NhdWRpLWFyYWJpYS1ldGhpb3BpYW5zLWJvcmRlci1wb2xpdGljcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwODI1Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEwMDg1MSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNDI4NzkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmTnIZjoZLOETppSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) [OPINION VIDEO Five Debate Moments That Will Shape the Republican Campaign Nikki Haley, Mike Pence, Ron DeSantis and Vivek Ramaswamy each had big moments, for better or for worse. By New York Times Opinion](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0TiaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wOC8yNC9vcGluaW9uL3JlcHVibGljYW4tZGViYXRlLW1vbWVudHMuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDgyNSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMDA4NTEmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTQyODc5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0Qgpk5yGY6GSzhE6aUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~) [Article Image](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0TiaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wOC8yNC9vcGluaW9uL3JlcHVibGljYW4tZGViYXRlLW1vbWVudHMuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDgyNSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMDA4NTEmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTQyODc5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0Qgpk5yGY6GSzhE6aUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~) [Trump’s Plan: Skip the Debates, Win Iowa, Avoid Prison As the Republican candidates tap dance around the former president, the party proves it’s still stuck on Trump. By Michelle Cottle, Ross Douthat, Carlos Lozada and Lydia Polgreen](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0ThaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wOC8yNC9vcGluaW9uL3RydW1wLWdvcC1kZWJhdGUtbGVzc29ucy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwODI1Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEwMDg1MSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNDI4NzkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmTnIZjoZLOETppSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) [Article Image](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0ThaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wOC8yNC9vcGluaW9uL3RydW1wLWdvcC1kZWJhdGUtbGVzc29ucy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwODI1Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEwMDg1MSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNDI4NzkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmTnIZjoZLOETppSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) [GUEST ESSAY Life After Loss Is Awful. I Need to Believe It’s Also Beautiful. In the wake of my daughter’s death, I’m trying to see the world as she did. By Sarah Wildman](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0ToaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wOC8yNS9vcGluaW9uL2ZpbmRpbmctYmVhdXR5LWFmdGVyLWRlYXRoLWxvc3MuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDgyNSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMDA4NTEmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTQyODc5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0Qgpk5yGY6GSzhE6aUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~) [Article Image](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0ToaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wOC8yNS9vcGluaW9uL2ZpbmRpbmctYmVhdXR5LWFmdGVyLWRlYXRoLWxvc3MuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDgyNSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMDA4NTEmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTQyODc5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0Qgpk5yGY6GSzhE6aUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~) [DAVID FRENCH Political Christianity Has Claws A murder exposes the grotesque logic of religious war. By David French](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0TpaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wOC8yNC9vcGluaW9uL3BvbGl0aWNhbC1jaHJpc3RpYW5pdHktaGFzLWNsYXdzLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9MzkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyMzA4MjUmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9MTAwODUxJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTE0Mjg3OSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZOchmOhks4ROmlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD) [Article Image](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0TpaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wOC8yNC9vcGluaW9uL3BvbGl0aWNhbC1jaHJpc3RpYW5pdHktaGFzLWNsYXdzLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9MzkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyMzA4MjUmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9MTAwODUxJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTE0Mjg3OSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZOchmOhks4ROmlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD) [Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-universal-2) ADVERTISEMENT [Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmyx0hP0SYaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9NzI2NTM3JmxpPVRZJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1UWV8yMDIzMDgyNSZ0ZT0xJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyMzA4MjVXA255dEIKZOchmOhks4ROmlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD) [The Economic Case for Marriage: Invest in ‘Future You’ Peter Coy on why marriage is good for you and for society. 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