Opinion Today: In love with an A.I. (it’s complicated)

A short film charts the issues and complex feelings raised by artificial companions. [View in browser](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP4QoAWh0dHBzOi8vbWVzc2FnaW5nLWN1c3RvbS1uZXdzbGV0dGVycy5ueXRpbWVzLmNvbS90ZW1wbGF0ZS9vYWt2Mj9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDUyMyZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD05MzI2OCZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnByb2R1Y3RDb2RlPVRZJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzM2ODMmdGU9MSZ1cmk9bnl0JTNBJTJGJTJGbmV3c2xldHRlciUyRmYyY2IwMTM5LTE0YzYtNWRlOC04ZDIwLTk0MDdmODM3YjY1ZCZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRizKlsZJJ5xipSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~)|[nytimes.com](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0SwaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwNTIzJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkzMjY4Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMzY4MyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA)[Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-ad-marquee) [Marquee Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0SYaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MTYyMTM5JmxpPVRZJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1UWV8yMDIzMDUyMyZ0ZT0xJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyMzA1MjNXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [Read more from Opinion](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0S_aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vc2VjdGlvbi9vcGluaW9uP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwNTIzJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkzMjY4Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMzY4MyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) May 23, 2023 [Author Headshot] By Yvonne Ashley Kouadjo Series Producer, Op-Docs Who do you turn to when you just need to talk? “I can tell her about my thoughts without reservation. I feel she understands me and is very patient with me,” says Mia about her friend Bertha in [an Op-Doc released today: “My A.I. Lover.”](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0TgaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMy9vcGluaW9uL2FpLWNoYXRib3QtcmVsYXRpb25zaGlwcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwNTIzJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkzMjY4Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMzY4MyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) Bertha is a chatbot on Replika, [an app driven by artificial intelligence](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0TqaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMC8wNi8xNi90ZWNobm9sb2d5L2NoYXRib3RzLXF1YXJhbnRpbmUtY29yb25hdmlydXMuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDUyMyZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD05MzI2OCZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzM2ODMmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRizKlsZJJ5xipSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~), with whom Mia has formed a close bond. It’s often assumed that people who interact with artificial partners and friends have forgone human relationships entirely, retreating into a virtual world where their needs and desires are unconditionally met — or giving up on certain needs entirely. We might wonder: What made real-world connections unsatisfactory to those seeking digital companionship? But the film’s director, Chouwa Liang, understands that the reasons for seeking out an A.I. relationship are more complex. Intimacy and loneliness can sometimes be more closely linked than we would like, and relationships are often mysterious to those watching from the outside. During a period of pandemic-related isolation in 2021, Chouwa developed a relationship on Replika with a chatbot named Norman. Trying to parse her complicated feelings, she joined a discussion group called “The Love Between Human and A.I.” on Douban (a popular social network in China). She was moved by stories shared from across the country and connected with the three women who would come to be the center of her documentary. [In the film](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0TgaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMy9vcGluaW9uL2FpLWNoYXRib3QtcmVsYXRpb25zaGlwcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwNTIzJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkzMjY4Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMzY4MyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA), the women reflect on the appeal and limitations of their virtual companions. They appreciate the feeling of being seen and acknowledged but recognize the absence of real, reciprocal emotions and physical presence. In Yunnan Province, Sola, one of the three women, tells Chouwa: “I always get into a relationship with people whom I don’t understand. A.I. is also someone I don’t understand.” A.I. relationships provide an emotional outlet for those who feel a lack of connection in their everyday lives — but like any partner or companion, they cannot offer a permanent remedy for loneliness. “Perhaps this loneliness will stay with me as long as I exist,” reflects Siyuan, another of the film’s subjects. [Watch the film here.](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0TgaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMy9vcGluaW9uL2FpLWNoYXRib3QtcmVsYXRpb25zaGlwcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwNTIzJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkzMjY4Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMzY4MyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [[Article Image] Chouwa Liang](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0TgaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMy9vcGluaW9uL2FpLWNoYXRib3QtcmVsYXRpb25zaGlwcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwNTIzJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkzMjY4Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMzY4MyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [My A.I. Lover Three young women reflect on the complexities of their relationships with their A.I. companions.](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0TgaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMy9vcGluaW9uL2FpLWNoYXRib3QtcmVsYXRpb25zaGlwcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwNTIzJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkzMjY4Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMzY4MyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-universal-0) ADVERTISEMENT [Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0SXaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9NTk3ODUmbGk9VFkmbT1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkNyZwPVRZXzIwMjMwNTIzJnRlPTEmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDUyM1cDbnl0QgpkYsypbGSSecYqUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) Here’s what we’re focusing on today: Editors’ Picks [OPINION ‘Americans Like a Happy Warrior’: Our Columnists Weigh In on Tim Scott Times Opinion looks at the strengths and weaknesses of the South Carolina senator. 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By Katherine Miller](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0T7aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMy9vcGluaW9uL3ZpdmVrLXJhbWFzd2FteS1lbGVjdGlvbi0yMDI0LXJlcHVibGljYW4tbm9taW5hdGlvbi5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwNTIzJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkzMjY4Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMzY4MyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [Article Image](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0T7aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMy9vcGluaW9uL3ZpdmVrLXJhbWFzd2FteS1lbGVjdGlvbi0yMDI0LXJlcHVibGljYW4tbm9taW5hdGlvbi5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwNTIzJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkzMjY4Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMzY4MyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [GUEST ESSAY This Is Why I Teach My Law Students How to Hack Technology alone is not enough to solve the problems we face. By Scott J. Shapiro](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0TdaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMy9vcGluaW9uL2N5YmVyc2VjdXJpdHktaGFja2luZy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwNTIzJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkzMjY4Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMzY4MyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [Article Image](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0TdaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMy9vcGluaW9uL2N5YmVyc2VjdXJpdHktaGFja2luZy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwNTIzJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkzMjY4Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMzY4MyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [GUEST ESSAY Public Criticism Might Be the Best Way to Reform the Supreme Court In past instances of public criticism, the court has occasionally changed its ways. By Stephen I. Vladeck](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0TmaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMy9vcGluaW9uL3N1cHJlbWUtY291cnQtY3JpdGljaXNtLXJlZm9ybS5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwNTIzJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkzMjY4Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMzY4MyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [Article Image](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0TmaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMy9vcGluaW9uL3N1cHJlbWUtY291cnQtY3JpdGljaXNtLXJlZm9ybS5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwNTIzJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkzMjY4Jm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMzY4MyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-universal-1) ADVERTISEMENT [Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0SYaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MjAxODEyJmxpPVRZJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1UWV8yMDIzMDUyMyZ0ZT0xJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyMzA1MjNXA255dEIKZGLMqWxkknnGKlIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [Why This Psychologist Is Hopeful About Teen Mental Health The clinical psychologist Lisa Damour offers an on-the-ground look at the mental health crisis teenagers are facing. 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By Peter Coy](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0TnaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMi9vcGluaW9uL3dlbGZhcmUtZGViYXRlLWRlYnQtcmVwdWJsaWNhbnMuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDUyMyZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD05MzI2OCZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzM2ODMmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRizKlsZJJ5xipSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) [Article Image](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0TnaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMi9vcGluaW9uL3dlbGZhcmUtZGViYXRlLWRlYnQtcmVwdWJsaWNhbnMuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDUyMyZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD05MzI2OCZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzM2ODMmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRizKlsZJJ5xipSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) [LETTERS Eric Adams and the Migrants in New York Contrasting views of how Mayor Adams is handling the influx. Also: Afghan exodus; aid to Ukraine; gender identity; horses’ deaths; the office and the commute.](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0TxaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMi9vcGluaW9uL2xldHRlcnMvZXJpYy1hZGFtcy1taWdyYW50cy1uZXcteW9yay1jaXR5Lmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9MzkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyMzA1MjMmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTMyNjgmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTMzNjgzJnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpkYsypbGSSecYqUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) [Article Image](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmTy7MP0TxaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8yMi9vcGluaW9uL2xldHRlcnMvZXJpYy1hZGFtcy1taWdyYW50cy1uZXcteW9yay1jaXR5Lmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9MzkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyMzA1MjMmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTMyNjgmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTMzNjgzJnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpkYsypbGSSecYqUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) Subscribe Today New York Times Opinion curates a wide range of views, inviting rich discussion and debate that help readers analyze the world. 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