The Mother Who Changed: A Story of Dementia

What do we do when cognitive decline changes people? [View in browser](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP4Q2AWh0dHBzOi8vbWVzc2FnaW5nLWN1c3RvbS1uZXdzbGV0dGVycy5ueXRpbWVzLmNvbS90ZW1wbGF0ZS9vYWt2Mj9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIzMDUxMiZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD05MjM3NSZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcHJvZHVjdENvZGU9TUEmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMjc1NyZ0ZT0xJnVyaT1ueXQlM0ElMkYlMkZuZXdzbGV0dGVyJTJGM2M2ZTc1MGEtMjMzMi01YTJkLWE4OTAtODg5OTEzZjIwNTg0JnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZFFMFV5kSCGK2FIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA)|[nytimes.com](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0S-aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjMwNTEyJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkyMzc1Jm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTMyNzU3JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpkUUwVXmRIIYrYUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~)[Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-ad-marquee) [Marquee Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0SmaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MTYxOTY2JmxpPU1BJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1NQV8yMDIzMDUxMiZ0ZT0xJm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIzMDUxMlcDbnl0QgpkUUwVXmRIIYrYUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) [The New York Times Magazine](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0TOaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vc2VjdGlvbi9tYWdhemluZT9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIzMDUxMiZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD05MjM3NSZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMjc1NyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZFFMFV5kSCGK2FIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) May 12, 2023 ~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0TmaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8wOS9tYWdhemluZS9kZW1lbnRpYS1tb3RoZXIuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIzMDUxMiZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD05MjM3NSZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMjc1NyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZFFMFV5kSCGK2FIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA Illustration by Vartika Sharma [In our cover story this week](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0TmaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8wOS9tYWdhemluZS9kZW1lbnRpYS1tb3RoZXIuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIzMDUxMiZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD05MjM3NSZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMjc1NyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZFFMFV5kSCGK2FIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA), Katie Engelhart reports on a family torn apart by dementia; plus, [we take you inside the world of saildrones](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0T2aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vaW50ZXJhY3RpdmUvMjAyMy8wNS8wOS9tYWdhemluZS9odXJyaWNhbmUtc2FpbGRyb25lLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMzA1MTImaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTIzNzUmbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzI3NTcmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRRTBVeZEghithSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) — the unmanned boats that measure superstorms at sea — and [Jazmine Hughes reports on](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0T8aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8xMC9tYWdhemluZS9idWZmYWxvLXNob290aW5nLWJhcmJhcmEtbWFzc2V5LW1hcHBzLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMzA1MTImaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTIzNzUmbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzI3NTcmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRRTBVeZEghithSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) one woman’s efforts to ensure the conviction of the white supremacist who killed her sister in the Buffalo shooting last year. FEATURES [[Article Image] From Kris Norelius](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0TmaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8wOS9tYWdhemluZS9kZW1lbnRpYS1tb3RoZXIuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIzMDUxMiZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD05MjM3NSZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMjc1NyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZFFMFV5kSCGK2FIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [The Mother Who Changed: A Story of Dementia As cognitive decline began to alter who Diane Norelius was, her adult daughters and her boyfriend wound up in a bitter dispute over which version of her should get to decide what she wanted. By Katie Engelhart](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0TmaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8wOS9tYWdhemluZS9kZW1lbnRpYS1tb3RoZXIuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIzMDUxMiZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD05MjM3NSZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMjc1NyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZFFMFV5kSCGK2FIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [[Article Image] Illustration by Wesley Allsbrook](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0T2aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vaW50ZXJhY3RpdmUvMjAyMy8wNS8wOS9tYWdhemluZS9odXJyaWNhbmUtc2FpbGRyb25lLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMzA1MTImaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTIzNzUmbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzI3NTcmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRRTBVeZEghithSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) [Hurricanes of Data: The Tiny Craft Mapping Superstorms at Sea Understanding the secrets of a warming ocean means steering straight into the biggest hurricanes. Enter the saildrone. By Porter Fox](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0T2aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vaW50ZXJhY3RpdmUvMjAyMy8wNS8wOS9tYWdhemluZS9odXJyaWNhbmUtc2FpbGRyb25lLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMzA1MTImaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTIzNzUmbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzI3NTcmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRRTBVeZEghithSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) [[Article Image] Joshua Thermidor](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0T8aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8xMC9tYWdhemluZS9idWZmYWxvLXNob290aW5nLWJhcmJhcmEtbWFzc2V5LW1hcHBzLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMzA1MTImaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTIzNzUmbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzI3NTcmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRRTBVeZEghithSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) [A Year After Buffalo: ‘There’s No Forgiveness for That. Ever.’ Court hearings, media scrums, ruined holidays — Barbara Massey-Mapps suffered through it all to see the white supremacist who killed her sister convicted. By Jazmine Hughes](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0T8aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8xMC9tYWdhemluZS9idWZmYWxvLXNob290aW5nLWJhcmJhcmEtbWFzc2V5LW1hcHBzLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMzA1MTImaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTIzNzUmbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzI3NTcmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRRTBVeZEghithSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) COLUMNS [[Article Image] Illustration by Tomi Um](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0TuaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8wNS9tYWdhemluZS9tYXJyaWFnZS1kaXNwdXRlLWV0aGljcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjMwNTEyJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkyMzc1Jm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTMyNzU3JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpkUUwVXmRIIYrYUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) [THE ETHICIST A Banana Peel Has Made Me Question My Marriage. Who’s Right? The magazine’s Ethicist columnist on a minor misdeed and its larger significance. By Kwame Anthony Appiah](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0TuaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8wNS9tYWdhemluZS9tYXJyaWFnZS1kaXNwdXRlLWV0aGljcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjMwNTEyJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkyMzc1Jm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTMyNzU3JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpkUUwVXmRIIYrYUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) [[Article Image] Illustration by Tomi Um](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0T8aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8xMC9tYWdhemluZS9ncmFuZGNoaWxkcmVuLXN0YWxraW5nLWN1c3RvZHktZXRoaWNzLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMzA1MTImaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTIzNzUmbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzI3NTcmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRRTBVeZEghithSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) [THE ETHICIST Am I Stalking My Own Grandchildren? I Miss Them Terribly. The magazine’s Ethicist columnist on the limits of parental custody. By Kwame Anthony Appiah](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0T8aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8xMC9tYWdhemluZS9ncmFuZGNoaWxkcmVuLXN0YWxraW5nLWN1c3RvZHktZXRoaWNzLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMzA1MTImaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTIzNzUmbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzI3NTcmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRRTBVeZEghithSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) [[Article Image] Photo illustration by Mark Harris](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0TsaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8wOS9tYWdhemluZS9mcmFuay1vY2Vhbi1jb2FjaGVsbGEuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIzMDUxMiZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD05MjM3NSZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMjc1NyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZFFMFV5kSCGK2FIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [SCREENLAND Frank Ocean Shows Us a More Human Way to Perform As live concert broadcasts have grown increasingly staid, his electrifying Coachella set gave us an unruly digital experience to share. By Jenn Pelly](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0TsaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8wOS9tYWdhemluZS9mcmFuay1vY2Vhbi1jb2FjaGVsbGEuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIzMDUxMiZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD05MjM3NSZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEzMjc1NyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZFFMFV5kSCGK2FIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [[Article Image] Chris Simpson for The New York Times. Food stylist: Maggie Ruggiero. Prop stylist: Sophia Pappas.](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0T_aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8xMC9tYWdhemluZS9zcHJpbmctYXNwYXJhZ3VzLXJlY2lwZS1jb2NvbnV0LXNwcmlua2xlLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMzA1MTImaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTIzNzUmbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzI3NTcmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRRTBVeZEghithSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) [EAT Yotam Ottolenghi Celebrates Spring With Asparagus This salad is enlivened by a sweet-and-spicy coconut sprinkle. By Yotam Ottolenghi](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0T_aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8xMC9tYWdhemluZS9zcHJpbmctYXNwYXJhZ3VzLXJlY2lwZS1jb2NvbnV0LXNwcmlua2xlLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMzA1MTImaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTIzNzUmbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzI3NTcmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRRTBVeZEghithSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) [[Article Image] Illustration by Shira Inbar](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0TlaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8wOS9tYWdhemluZS9sdXJraW5nLW9ubGluZS5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjMwNTEyJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkyMzc1Jm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTMyNzU3JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpkUUwVXmRIIYrYUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) [LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION The Discreet Thrill of Lurking Online There’s a world of wholesome drama out there in strangers’ social media content, if you know where to look. You don’t even need to post yourself. By Elise Craig](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0TlaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8wOS9tYWdhemluZS9sdXJraW5nLW9ubGluZS5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjMwNTEyJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkyMzc1Jm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTMyNzU3JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpkUUwVXmRIIYrYUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) [[Article Image] Illustration by Louise Zergaeng Pomeroy](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0T8aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8xMS9tYWdhemluZS9qdWRnZS1qb2huLWhvZGdtYW4tZGVhZC1maWFuY2UtZGlubmVyLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMzA1MTImaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTIzNzUmbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzI3NTcmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRRTBVeZEghithSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) [Judge John Hodgman on Having Your Dead Fiancé Over for Dinner Should a significant other respect very particular last wishes? By John Hodgman](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP0T8aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wNS8xMS9tYWdhemluZS9qdWRnZS1qb2huLWhvZGdtYW4tZGVhZC1maWFuY2UtZGlubmVyLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMzA1MTImaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9OTIzNzUmbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMzI3NTcmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmRRTBVeZEghithSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) [[Article Image] Illustration by R. O. Blechman](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP4QRAWh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lm55dGltZXMuY29tLzIwMjMvMDUvMTEvbWFnYXppbmUvcG9lbS10aGUtd29ybGQtaXMtYnJlYWtpbmctaW4tZmxvd2Vycy10aGUtYnJlYXRoLW9mLXRoaW5ncy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjMwNTEyJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkyMzc1Jm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTMyNzU3JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpkUUwVXmRIIYrYUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) [Poem: The World Is Breaking in Flowers the Breath of Things Darkness has a speed, and motion — hovering, being, flowing, breathing — unifies this poem and its world. By Precious Okoyomon and Anne Boyer](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRmQJpMP4QRAWh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lm55dGltZXMuY29tLzIwMjMvMDUvMTEvbWFnYXppbmUvcG9lbS10aGUtd29ybGQtaXMtYnJlYWtpbmctaW4tZmxvd2Vycy10aGUtYnJlYXRoLW9mLXRoaW5ncy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjMwNTEyJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTkyMzc1Jm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTMyNzU3JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpkUUwVXmRIIYrYUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) Stay in touch: Like this email? Forward it to a friend and help us grow. Loved a story? Hated it? Write us a letter at magazine@nytimes.com. Did a friend forward this to you? 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