Opinion Today: These 12 transgender Americans are tired of being misunderstood

It starts by listening — and throwing aside stereotypes. [View in browser](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlyhblP4QoAWh0dHBzOi8vbWVzc2FnaW5nLWN1c3RvbS1uZXdzbGV0dGVycy5ueXRpbWVzLmNvbS90ZW1wbGF0ZS9vYWt2Mj9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDIxMSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD04NTExMSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnByb2R1Y3RDb2RlPVRZJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMjUwNjcmdGU9MSZ1cmk9bnl0JTNBJTJGJTJGbmV3c2xldHRlciUyRjg1OTllODdlLWFlOGQtNWU3YS05MTFiLTgzNWY5ZDM4YmM5ZSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmPh5ZHnY1bb8-FSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~)|[nytimes.com](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlyhblP0SwaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwMjExJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTg1MTExJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEyNTA2NyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY-HlkedjVtvz4VIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA)[Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-ad-marquee) [Marquee Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlyhblP0SYaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MTYyMTM5JmxpPVRZJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1UWV8yMDIzMDIxMSZ0ZT0xJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyMzAyMTFXA255dEIKY-HlkedjVtvz4VIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [Read more from Opinion](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlyhblP0S_aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vc2VjdGlvbi9vcGluaW9uP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwMjExJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTg1MTExJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEyNTA2NyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY-HlkedjVtvz4VIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) February 11, 2023 “Stop trying to understand us. If you’re not trans, you never will. I feel like a lot of times, people are just trying to make sense of us in their head, and I need you to stop trying to make sense and just respect us as people.” Illustrations by Lucinda Rogers [Author Headshot](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlyhblP0TCaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vYnkvYWRyaWFuLWotcml2ZXJhP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwMjExJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTg1MTExJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEyNTA2NyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY-HlkedjVtvz4VIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) By [Adrian J. Rivera](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlyhblP0TCaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vYnkvYWRyaWFuLWotcml2ZXJhP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwMjExJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTg1MTExJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEyNTA2NyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY-HlkedjVtvz4VIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) Editorial Assistant, Opinion Over the course of our [America in Focus series](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlyhblP0TDaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vc2VyaWVzL2ZvY3VzLWdyb3Vwcz9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDIzMDIxMSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD04NTExMSZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMjUwNjcmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmPh5ZHnY1bb8-FSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) at Times Opinion, we’ve brought together people of different backgrounds from across the political spectrum to understand how they see the world, discussing topics such as the Jan. 6 riot, culture wars and division in America. For our [latest installment](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlyhblP0T1aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vaW50ZXJhY3RpdmUvMjAyMy8wMi8wOS9vcGluaW9uL3RyYW5zZ2VuZGVyLWFtZXJpY2Fucy1mb2N1cy1ncm91cC5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjMwMjExJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTg1MTExJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEyNTA2NyZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY-HlkedjVtvz4VIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) — the 30th in this series — we spoke with 12 transgender Americans about how they’re experiencing the country these days. Some of what we learned was as disappointing as it was unsurprising. Almost all our group members said they’d experienced harassment or discrimination as a result of their trans identity. But when we asked our participants what others incorrectly assumed about them, I was struck by something Forest, one of the participants, shared. “I think people might assume that I am unwilling to see our shared humanity. I don’t shave my armpits, I have a mustache, and I have short hair — physical aspects of my appearance, which I think have been used as a tool by conservative media to paint people like me as, like, politically correct Nazis,” Forest told us. “In reality, I’m actually trying really hard to see people who I disagree with as also human, just like me, who have positives and negatives, who have different experiences but who might still be able to change their minds and care about other people, too. I’m trying to.” I think there’s a tendency among conservatives and even liberals to stereotype trans people as fringe, leftist activists intent on indoctrinating anybody and everybody. This is what Forest sought to dispel. In so doing, Forest reaffirmed a simple but often forgotten truth that I hope you’ll encounter in this focus group, a truth that is at the core of every group we’ve run so far: People are complicated. READ THE FULL FOCUS GROUP HERE [These 12 Transgender Americans Would Love You to Mind Your Own Business A group of transgender Americans describes what it’s like to be trans in America today. By Patrick Healy and Adrian J. 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