I’m a Cancer Survivor. Should I Tell My Matchmaking Service?

I’m a 58-year-old woman who is otherwise healthy. 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Should I Tell My Matchmaking Service? The magazine’s Ethicist columnist on disclosing personal information when dating. By Kwame Anthony Appiah](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlm9zXP0TwaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wMS8wNC9tYWdhemluZS9jYW5jZXItbWF0Y2htYWtpbmctZXRoaWNzLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMzAxMDcmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9ODIwMDImbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMjE4NzkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmO111e5Y7lH_CtSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) I recently enrolled in a matchmaking service and went through a long interview process. During that process, I did not disclose the fact that I survived cancer, an experience that left me with a stoma (basically, a small opening in the abdomen). There is no bag, though; I use a catheter to empty my bladder. Having had radiation therapy, I also have problems with penetration during sex. I’m a 58-year-old woman who is otherwise healthy and in good shape. The men I will be introduced to will have paid, as I did, a hefty amount for a limited number of introductions. I feel I would need to mention being a cancer survivor as soon as possible so as to not lead anyone on. I consider this an extremely private matter, but I don’t want to anger or upset any potential date. Should I have mentioned this in my interview with the dating service? Should I disclose it now? [Read the Ethicist’s response here](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlm9zXP0TwaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wMS8wNC9tYWdhemluZS9jYW5jZXItbWF0Y2htYWtpbmctZXRoaWNzLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMzAxMDcmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9ODIwMDImbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMjE4NzkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmO111e5Y7lH_CtSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~). 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To be reminded what language can do by itself, try E.R. 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