Do I Have to Tell People About My Weight Loss Operation?

I am not ashamed. [View in browser](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRldvLkP4Q2AWh0dHBzOi8vbWVzc2FnaW5nLWN1c3RvbS1uZXdzbGV0dGVycy5ueXRpbWVzLmNvbS90ZW1wbGF0ZS9vYWt2Mj9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTIxMCZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03OTg2NSZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcHJvZHVjdENvZGU9TUEmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExNTYwOCZ0ZT0xJnVyaT1ueXQlM0ElMkYlMkZuZXdzbGV0dGVyJTJGN2M2NWZmN2ItNDExNC01OTcyLTkzNzctNWY3ZjQ4ZGIyMzNlJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY5DkbZRjwprbqFIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA)|[nytimes.com](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRldvLkP0S-aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjIxMjEwJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTc5ODY1Jm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTE1NjA4JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpjkORtlGPCmtuoUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~)[Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-ad-marquee) ~/AAAAAQA~/RgRldvLkP0RtaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MTYxOTY2JmxpPU1BJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1NQV8yMDIyMTIxMFcDbnl0QgpjkORtlGPCmtuoUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~ [The New York Times Magazine](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRldvLkP0TOaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vc2VjdGlvbi9tYWdhemluZT9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTIxMCZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03OTg2NSZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExNTYwOCZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY5DkbZRjwprbqFIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) December 10, 2022 [[Article Image] Illustration by Tomi Um](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRldvLkP0TuaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8xMi8wNi9tYWdhemluZS93ZWlnaHQtb3BlcmF0aW9uLWV0aGljcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjIxMjEwJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTc5ODY1Jm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTE1NjA4JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpjkORtlGPCmtuoUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) [THE ETHICIST I’m Having an Operation to Lose Weight. Do I Have to Tell People? The magazine’s Ethicist columnist on navigating the personal boundaries around our physical health. By Kwame Anthony Appiah](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRldvLkP0TuaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8xMi8wNi9tYWdhemluZS93ZWlnaHQtb3BlcmF0aW9uLWV0aGljcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjIxMjEwJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTc5ODY1Jm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTE1NjA4JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpjkORtlGPCmtuoUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) Early next year, I will have bariatric surgery. My surgeon has told me that my initial weight loss will be significant and very noticeable. What is my obligation to share the reason for my future weight loss with people outside my family and close friends? I am not ashamed of having the operation, and I will not lie and say I experienced some sort of miracle wherein diets and exercise suddenly started to work for me. When I was pregnant, however, people seemed unable to resist commenting on my size. (“You’re huge!” and “Are you sure it’s not twins?”) This experience has put me on guard; I don’t feel I owe colleagues and strangers answers about my health or my body. But, for instance, my boss and I work together very closely, though I do my best to maintain personal boundaries. Do I owe her an explanation for why I will take a period of sick leave and thereafter look quite different? How do I negotiate the line between the truth of my weight loss and the truth of “it’s none of your business”? [Read the Ethicist’s response here](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRldvLkP0TuaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8xMi8wNi9tYWdhemluZS93ZWlnaHQtb3BlcmF0aW9uLWV0aGljcy5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjIxMjEwJmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTc5ODY1Jm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTE1NjA4JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpjkORtlGPCmtuoUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~). Subscribe Today We hope you’ve enjoyed this newsletter, which is made possible through subscriber support. 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