Is It OK That My Wife Posts Photos of Her Breastfeeding Our Son?

You can see it all. [View in browser](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP4Q2AWh0dHBzOi8vbWVzc2FnaW5nLWN1c3RvbS1uZXdzbGV0dGVycy5ueXRpbWVzLmNvbS90ZW1wbGF0ZS9vYWt2Mj9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTExOSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NzgzMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcHJvZHVjdENvZGU9TUEmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMzY4NCZ0ZT0xJnVyaT1ueXQlM0ElMkYlMkZuZXdzbGV0dGVyJTJGODBjMmZlOTUtMDhlYy01NDhiLWE5YTItNjUwZDEzMWY1NGJkJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY3RhvnhjBxB6EFIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA)|[nytimes.com](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP0S-aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjIxMTE5Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTc3ODMyJm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTEzNjg0JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpjdGG-eGMHEHoQUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~)[Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-ad-marquee) ~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP0RtaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MTYxOTY2JmxpPU1BJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1NQV8yMDIyMTExOVcDbnl0QgpjdGG-eGMHEHoQUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~ [The New York Times Magazine](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP0TOaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vc2VjdGlvbi9tYWdhemluZT9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTExOSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NzgzMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMzY4NCZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY3RhvnhjBxB6EFIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) November 19, 2022 [[Article Image] Illustration by Tomi Um](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP0TyaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8xMS8xNS9tYWdhemluZS9icmVhc3RmZWVkaW5nLXBob3Rvcy1ldGhpY3MuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTExOSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NzgzMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMzY4NCZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY3RhvnhjBxB6EFIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [THE ETHICIST Is It OK That My Wife Posts Photos of Her Breastfeeding Our Son? The magazine’s Ethicist columnist on weighing the risks of sharing an intimate family moment online. By Kwame Anthony Appiah](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP0TyaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8xMS8xNS9tYWdhemluZS9icmVhc3RmZWVkaW5nLXBob3Rvcy1ldGhpY3MuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTExOSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NzgzMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMzY4NCZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY3RhvnhjBxB6EFIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) I’m proud of my wife and her breastfeeding of my son — I am so glad that they have been able to experience the bonding and health benefits that come with breastfeeding. My concern arises from the fact that my wife has posted photos online of her breastfeeding. These are not photos where everything happens to be conveniently covered up. You can see it all. I understand that my wife’s Instagram accounts are “private,” in that only connections/followers can see posts. These people range from family members, close friends of hers, close friends of mine, acquaintances and business contacts. I have asked her about the photos, and in particular what the thought process was behind posting them. She said that breastfeeding is something she is proud of and wants to share with her contacts. I can’t claim that I understand the psychology behind posting such things on social media. To me it seems rather show-offy. But it’s part of our culture now, and I don’t need to understand it. I support efforts to normalize breastfeeding in society, but this feels like a step too far. That my friends and family are able to see such explicit photos of my wife makes me uncomfortable. But that alone would not be enough for me to push the issue. My major concern, which I raised with my wife, is that one day our son will be going to school, and school kids can be mean. Is it fair for those photos to live on accounts where parents of other children at the school, connected to my wife, could see the photos? Could this expose our son to unnecessary bullying? My wife’s response is, “Let’s discuss it with our son when he is old enough, and we can make a choice then.” [Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-universal-0) ADVERTISEMENT ~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP0RtaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MTYxOTYzJmxpPU1BJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1NQV8yMDIyMTExOVcDbnl0QgpjdGG-eGMHEHoQUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~ My gut tells me that it would be more appropriate to remove the photos now, and when our son is old enough to discuss the matter with us, they can be posted with his consent at that time. What do you think? [Read the Ethicist’s response here](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP0TyaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8xMS8xNS9tYWdhemluZS9icmVhc3RmZWVkaW5nLXBob3Rvcy1ldGhpY3MuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTExOSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NzgzMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMzY4NCZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY3RhvnhjBxB6EFIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA). Subscribe Today We hope you’ve enjoyed this newsletter, which is made possible through subscriber support. 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By Yotam Ottolenghi](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP0T7aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8xMS8xNi9tYWdhemluZS9icnVzc2Vscy1zcHJvdXRzLXJlY2lwZS10aGFua3NnaXZpbmcuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTExOSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NzgzMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMzY4NCZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY3RhvnhjBxB6EFIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [[Article Image] Photo illustration by Ina Jang](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP4QBAWh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lm55dGltZXMuY29tLzIwMjIvMTEvMTYvbWFnYXppbmUvY2FubmFiaW5vaWQtaHlwZXJlbWVzaXMtc3luZHJvbWUtZGlhZ25vc2lzLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMjExMTkmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9Nzc4MzImbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMTM2ODQmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmN0Yb54YwcQehBSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) [DIAGNOSIS It Was Her Third Visit to the E.R. What Was Causing Her Abdominal Pain? Scans and a surgery didn’t show any abnormalities. Her neurologist had a surprising theory. By Lisa Sanders, M.D.](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP4QBAWh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lm55dGltZXMuY29tLzIwMjIvMTEvMTYvbWFnYXppbmUvY2FubmFiaW5vaWQtaHlwZXJlbWVzaXMtc3luZHJvbWUtZGlhZ25vc2lzLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMjExMTkmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9Nzc4MzImbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMTM2ODQmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmN0Yb54YwcQehBSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~) [[Article Image] Photo illustration by Najeebah Al-Ghadban](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP0TxaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8xMS8xMC9tYWdhemluZS9hdGxhbnRhLWh1bHUtZG9uYWxkLWdsb3Zlci5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjIxMTE5Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTc3ODMyJm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTEzNjg0JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpjdGG-eGMHEHoQUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) [SCREENLAND The End of ‘Atlanta’ Changes Everything Donald Glover’s masterpiece was a different kind of prestige TV. It never explained itself, and was all the better for it. By Niela Orr](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP0TxaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8xMS8xMC9tYWdhemluZS9hdGxhbnRhLWh1bHUtZG9uYWxkLWdsb3Zlci5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjIxMTE5Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTc3ODMyJm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTEzNjg0JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpjdGG-eGMHEHoQUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) [[Article Image] Illustration by Louise Zergaeng Pomeroy](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP0T-aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8xMS8xNy9tYWdhemluZS9qdWRnZS1qb2huLWhvZGdtYW4tb24ta2xpbmdvbi1jYXQtbmFtZXMuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTExOSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NzgzMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMzY4NCZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY3RhvnhjBxB6EFIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [Judge John Hodgman on Klingon Cat Names A couple disagrees on what to call their new pet. By John Hodgman](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP0T-aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8xMS8xNy9tYWdhemluZS9qdWRnZS1qb2huLWhvZGdtYW4tb24ta2xpbmdvbi1jYXQtbmFtZXMuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTExOSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NzgzMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMzY4NCZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY3RhvnhjBxB6EFIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [[Article Image] Illustration by R. O. Blechman](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP4QMAWh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lm55dGltZXMuY29tLzIwMjIvMTEvMTcvbWFnYXppbmUvcG9lbS1zZWxmLXBvcnRyYWl0LWFzLWNvbGxlY3RlZC1ib25lcy1yZWpvaWNlLXJlam9pY2UuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTExOSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NzgzMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMzY4NCZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY3RhvnhjBxB6EFIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [Poem: Self-Portrait as Collected Bones [Rejoice, Rejoice] Michael Wasson’s poem uses the self-portrait to investigate identity within the legacy of colonialism and erasure of the Indigenous body. By Michael Wasson and Victoria Chang](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP4QMAWh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lm55dGltZXMuY29tLzIwMjIvMTEvMTcvbWFnYXppbmUvcG9lbS1zZWxmLXBvcnRyYWl0LWFzLWNvbGxlY3RlZC1ib25lcy1yZWpvaWNlLXJlam9pY2UuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTExOSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NzgzMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMzY4NCZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY3RhvnhjBxB6EFIbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) Stay in touch: Follow us on Twitter ([@NYTmag](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP0TAaHR0cHM6Ly90d2l0dGVyLmNvbS9ueXRtYWc_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9NTImZW1jPWVkaXRfbWFfMjAyMjExMTkmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9Nzc4MzImbmw9dGhlLW5ldy15b3JrLXRpbWVzLW1hZ2F6aW5lJnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xMTM2ODQmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmN0Yb54YwcQehBSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~)) or check us out on [Instagram](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlW0NhP0TBaHR0cDovL2luc3RhZ3JhbS5jb20vbnl0bWFnP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjIxMTE5Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTc3ODMyJm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTEzNjg0JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpjdGG-eGMHEHoQUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~). 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