If You Raised Money After a Fire, Can You Spend It on a Vacation?

It feels selfish and ungracious. [View in browser](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlSMCSP4Q2AWh0dHBzOi8vbWVzc2FnaW5nLWN1c3RvbS1uZXdzbGV0dGVycy5ueXRpbWVzLmNvbS90ZW1wbGF0ZS9vYWt2Mj9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTEwNSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NjYxMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcHJvZHVjdENvZGU9TUEmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMjE0OSZ0ZT0xJnVyaT1ueXQlM0ElMkYlMkZuZXdzbGV0dGVyJTJGNGMwMmU1MmUtODA5ZS01ZDk5LTkyOWEtN2Y3YTAxNTI0ZWM1JnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY2SSO2ZjBTu9j1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA)|[nytimes.com](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlSMCSP0S-aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjIxMTA1Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTc2NjEyJm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTEyMTQ5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgpjZJI7ZmMFO72PUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~)[Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-ad-marquee) ~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlSMCSP0RtaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MTYxOTY2JmxpPU1BJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1NQV8yMDIyMTEwNVcDbnl0QgpjZJI7ZmMFO72PUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~ [The New York Times Magazine](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlSMCSP0TOaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vc2VjdGlvbi9tYWdhemluZT9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTEwNSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NjYxMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMjE0OSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY2SSO2ZjBTu9j1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) November 5, 2022 [[Article Image] Illustration by Tomi Um](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlSMCSP0TmaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8xMS8wMS9tYWdhemluZS9kb25hdGlvbi1ldGhpY3MuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTEwNSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NjYxMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMjE0OSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY2SSO2ZjBTu9j1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [The Ethicist If You Raised Money After a Fire, Can You Spend It on a Vacation? The Times’s Ethicist columnist on whether people have a say in how their donations are used after a crisis. By Kwame Anthony Appiah](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlSMCSP0TmaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8xMS8wMS9tYWdhemluZS9kb25hdGlvbi1ldGhpY3MuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTEwNSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NjYxMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMjE0OSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY2SSO2ZjBTu9j1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) A young couple I know from our church were displaced from their apartment by a fire. All their furnishings and effects had to be replaced, and it was expensive for them to move pending the payment of their insurance benefit. The couple is of limited means, so they started a GoFundMe campaign, which raised several thousand dollars from their friends and acquaintances, including fellow parishioners. I donated $300. After their move and recovery, they posted a thank-you note on the GoFundMe page and sponsored a light lunch after church one Sunday afternoon in gratitude. However, no personal thanks were ever proffered, even though the identities of all the donors were shared with them. [Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-universal-0) ADVERTISEMENT ~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlSMCSP0RtaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MTYxOTYzJmxpPU1BJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1NQV8yMDIyMTEwNVcDbnl0QgpjZJI7ZmMFO72PUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~ Later, in church, I overheard them sharing details of their upcoming vacation to Europe. Am I wrong to think that the funds donated to tide them over during their emergency should be graciously offered back to the donors now that they have received their insurance payment and are back on their feet? At the very least they might have made a public donation to our church to match the donated funds. I hate to be “that guy” who scorns their vacation, but it just feels selfish and ungracious. Am I wrong? [Read the Ethicist’s response here](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRlSMCSP0TmaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8xMS8wMS9tYWdhemluZS9kb25hdGlvbi1ldGhpY3MuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMTEwNSZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD03NjYxMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTExMjE0OSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKY2SSO2ZjBTu9j1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA). Subscribe Today We hope you’ve enjoyed this newsletter, which is made possible through subscriber support. 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