Can I Ditch My Roommate to Live With a Friend?

The Ethicist replies. [View in browser](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRk0NMiP4Q2AWh0dHBzOi8vbWVzc2FnaW5nLWN1c3RvbS1uZXdzbGV0dGVycy5ueXRpbWVzLmNvbS90ZW1wbGF0ZS9vYWt2Mj9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMDgwNiZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD02ODYwMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcHJvZHVjdENvZGU9TUEmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEwMDY3MSZ0ZT0xJnVyaT1ueXQlM0ElMkYlMkZuZXdzbGV0dGVyJTJGN2ZmNDJiMDctYTQ0YS01NzM3LWE0MmItNmY1NzM2MjZmY2M0JnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKYukiTu5ib-Pou1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA)|[nytimes.com](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRk0NMiP0S-aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjIwODA2Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTY4NjAyJm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTAwNjcxJnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0Qgpi6SJO7mJv4-i7Uht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~)[Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-ad-marquee) ~/AAAAAQA~/RgRk0NMiP0RtaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MTYxOTY2JmxpPU1BJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1NQV8yMDIyMDgwNlcDbnl0Qgpi6SJO7mJv4-i7Uht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~ [The New York Times Magazine](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRk0NMiP0TOaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vc2VjdGlvbi9tYWdhemluZT9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMDgwNiZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD02ODYwMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEwMDY3MSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKYukiTu5ib-Pou1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) August 6, 2022 [[Article Image] Illustration by Tomi Um](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRk0NMiP0TvaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8wOC8wMi9tYWdhemluZS9yb29tbWF0ZXMtZnJpZW5kcy1ldGhpY3MuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMDgwNiZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD02ODYwMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEwMDY3MSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKYukiTu5ib-Pou1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) [The Ethicist Can I Ditch My Roommate So I Can Live With My Friend? The magazine’s Ethicist columnist on what you owe the person who lives with you. By Kwame Anthony Appiah](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRk0NMiP0TvaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8wOC8wMi9tYWdhemluZS9yb29tbWF0ZXMtZnJpZW5kcy1ldGhpY3MuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMDgwNiZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD02ODYwMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEwMDY3MSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKYukiTu5ib-Pou1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) I’d been living in my apartment for a year when my current roommate moved in. We didn’t know each other beforehand, but she has turned out to be a nice person whose lifestyle is very similar to mine. As roommates go, she’s a good one, and I have no complaints about living with her. But I just found out that one of my best friends is moving to my city in a few months (around when my lease expires), and she and I would like to live together in this apartment. The problem is that I don’t think my current roommate has any desire to leave. In many ways, this apartment is mine. I was here first, the apartment is stocked and furnished with things I bought and my name is the only one on the lease. My roommate wanted to sign a lease, but because my landlord already knew me, he preferred to keep our current arrangement. We ended up just signing a sublease agreement between us. Of course, none of that is my roommate’s fault, and after living in the space for a year, she must feel a certain claim to it. Is it wrong of me to tell her she needs to leave at the end of our lease? And if not, how do I broach that conversation? [Read the Ethicist’s response here.](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRk0NMiP0TvaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMi8wOC8wMi9tYWdhemluZS9yb29tbWF0ZXMtZnJpZW5kcy1ldGhpY3MuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIyMDgwNiZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD02ODYwMiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTEwMDY3MSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKYukiTu5ib-Pou1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAA) Subscribe Today We hope you’ve enjoyed this newsletter, which is made possible through subscriber support. 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