What if There’s No Such Thing as Closure?

On “ambiguous loss.” [View in browser](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRjnysgP4Q1AWh0dHBzOi8vbWVzc2FnaW5nLWN1c3RvbS1uZXdzbGV0dGVycy5ueXRpbWVzLmNvbS90ZW1wbGF0ZS9vYWt2Mj9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIxMTIxNyZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD00ODA3NiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcHJvZHVjdENvZGU9TUEmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTc3MjY5JnRlPTEmdXJpPW55dCUzQSUyRiUyRm5ld3NsZXR0ZXIlMkYxNzA2OTU2Ny00MmNlLTVlN2EtYWI3Yi1iNzg0ZTMyOGJhZDEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgphuyCmvGFJleznUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~)|[nytimes.com](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRjnysgP0S9aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTUyJmVtYz1lZGl0X21hXzIwMjExMjE3Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTQ4MDc2Jm5sPXRoZS1uZXcteW9yay10aW1lcy1tYWdhemluZSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9NzcyNjkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCmG7IKa8YUmV7OdSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAA~~)[Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-ad-marquee) ~/AAAAAQA~/RgRjnysgP0RtaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MTYxOTY2JmxpPU1BJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1NQV8yMDIxMTIxN1cDbnl0QgphuyCmvGFJleznUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~ [The New York Times Magazine](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRjnysgP0TNaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vc2VjdGlvbi9tYWdhemluZT9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIxMTIxNyZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD00ODA3NiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTc3MjY5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgphuyCmvGFJleznUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) December 17, 2021 Nearly 50 years ago, the scientist Pauline Boss began researching families with at least one member who was either physically or psychologically absent. Sometimes, as in the case of a death accompanied by a body and a certificate, the scope of loss is relatively clear. In the cases Boss studied, there was no authoritative certainty. There were often no bodies, and thus no rituals for mourning. Rather than being tied to a specific event, these losses frequently extended over many years, deepening each day in ways that grievers could not register. Could such experiences even be considered losses? Can you mourn someone whose body is present, even if the mind isn’t? Or whose death is unconfirmed? Read more about Pauline Boss and the term she coined to define the unclear — and often unacknowledged — absence in our lives: “[ambiguous loss](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRjnysgP0TraHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMS8xMi8xNS9tYWdhemluZS9ncmlldmluZy1sb3NzLWNsb3N1cmUuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIxMTIxNyZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD00ODA3NiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTc3MjY5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgphuyCmvGFJleznUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~).” [[Article Image] Artwork by Amy Friend](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRjnysgP0TraHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMS8xMi8xNS9tYWdhemluZS9ncmlldmluZy1sb3NzLWNsb3N1cmUuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIxMTIxNyZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD00ODA3NiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTc3MjY5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgphuyCmvGFJleznUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) [What if There’s No Such Thing as Closure? Many of us are taught that if we work hard enough we’ll be able to get over our losses. The social scientist Pauline Boss sees it differently. By Meg Bernhard](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRjnysgP0TraHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMS8xMi8xNS9tYWdhemluZS9ncmlldmluZy1sb3NzLWNsb3N1cmUuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD01MiZlbWM9ZWRpdF9tYV8yMDIxMTIxNyZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD00ODA3NiZubD10aGUtbmV3LXlvcmstdGltZXMtbWFnYXppbmUmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTc3MjY5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0QgphuyCmvGFJleznUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~) [Continue reading the main story](#a11y-skip-0) ADVERTISEMENT ~/AAAAAQA~/RgRjnysgP0RtaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9MTYxOTYzJmxpPU1BJm09YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDcmcD1NQV8yMDIxMTIxN1cDbnl0QgphuyCmvGFJleznUht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAA~ Subscribe Today We hope you’ve enjoyed this newsletter, which is made possible through subscriber support. 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