Race/Related: A Code of Conduct for People of Color

Plus: Kendrick Lamar Shakes Up the Pulitzers View in [Browser]( | Add nytdirect@nytimes.com to your address book. [The New York Times]( [The New York Times]( Saturday, April 21, 2018 [Join Race/Related »]( [A “Black Lives Matter” poster hangs at The Ethical Society in Rittenhouse Square in Philadelphia. The Starbucks where two black men were arrested last weekend is two blocks away. African-Americans were driven out of the neighborhood because of riots started by white residents in the mid-1800s.] A “Black Lives Matter” poster hangs at The Ethical Society in Rittenhouse Square in Philadelphia. The Starbucks where two black men were arrested last weekend is two blocks away. African-Americans were driven out of the neighborhood because of riots started by white residents in the mid-1800s. Mark Makela for The New York Times [Monica Drake] Monica Drake If any business could lay claim to being America’s cafe, it’s Starbucks. There are about 16,800 company-operated and licensed stores in the United States, according to [its recent SEC filings]( which translates to approximately one store for every 7,000 households in the country. It is possible to leave a Starbucks within a Barnes & Noble, see another one inside a Target, and drive through yet a different Starbucks, all within the same suburban shopping strip. In urban centers, you can leave one Starbucks and wander into another a mere block away. You have to work to avoid it. The ubiquity of Starbucks made [the arrests of two black men within minutes]( of their arrival at a store in Philadelphia all the more relatable to people of color who have parked themselves on a seat to enjoy a latte, go on a date, or set up a temporary work space.  These viral moments in which a person of color is performing the mundane tasks of everyday life only to be confronted by the police are nothing new. A [black teenager was shot at]( after asking for directions from a homeowner. [A black man in Connecticut shoveling his own driveway]( said four years ago that officers had confronted him, and a group of [black women were met by the police after being kicked off a wine tour]( in Napa in 2015. These events often occur in low-crime areas that were developed in the wake of white flight a generation or two ago. They happen in the sort of place you’d find a Starbucks. By week’s end, video of a black man saying he’d been denied use of a restroom at a different Starbucks had gone viral and so did a video of the police responding to [a black man whom LA Fitness]( employees were trying to remove from the gym in Secaucus, N.J. (The employees at LA Fitness have been removed from their jobs, according to The New York Daily News.) These incidents aren’t fatal, like the police shootings of unarmed black people, but they are no small matter: A survey found that a lifetime of confronting them [is bad for your health](. As a defense mechanism, people of color abide by a code of conduct, an unspoken set of rules that white people can disregard. In fact, after the Starbucks arrests, [at least one meme]( chided the men for violating a commonly held rule: going into a place without immediately buying something. Mine include the following: Don’t hail a yellow cab unless you are dressed up; don’t throw away your receipt before you leave a shopping center; overtip. Readers share their rules -- and what happened despite obeying them -- below.  Monica Drake is assistant managing editor at The New York Times. Readers’ Rules [Shoppers walk through Liberty Place shopping mall in the Rittenhouse neighborhood in Philadelphia. Although black people account for just 3 percent of the residents in that police subdistrict, they made up two-thirds of the people stopped by the police in the first half of 2017.] Shoppers walk through Liberty Place shopping mall in the Rittenhouse neighborhood in Philadelphia. Although black people account for just 3 percent of the residents in that police subdistrict, they made up two-thirds of the people stopped by the police in the first half of 2017. Mark Makela for The New York Times We asked readers about whether they felt their race contributed to how others behaved around them in their daily lives. Here are some of their responses, lightly edited for clarity. I keep my Platinum American Express Card near my driver’s license so that law enforcement can see that I am a “citizen,” someone in the upper middle class, without overtly saying so. – Christopher Scott, 58, Chicago When I go into stores, I try to avoid wearing large purses or a lot of layers.  I am educated (with a master’s degree) and have a career, but that does not matter because I cannot wear that as my skin color is worn. – Shawna Francis, 31, Columbia, Mo. I have registered my car with the N.Y.P.D. with stickers all over the car saying that I am in an “anti-theft program.” What I am really doing is to “mark” myself as friendly to the police so that I can get respect. – Miriam Allen, 61, New York I try not to talk to people and keep to myself, usually I listen to music or I talk to the people I went with. I try to stay away from other patrons unless they're black. – C.S., 39, New York If I’ve been followed in a store, I won’t return there, or ever purchase the brand or related brands (like a major clothing chain). If the business hasn’t really changed practices over years nor taken steps to address known incidents, I will advise colleagues to avoid those businesses as well. – Darrell Emile, Philadelphia I’ve basically given up on women’s clothing stores. No matter how nicely dressed, or how upscale or downmarket the store, it’s just too stressful to put on a big show of “I am not shoplifting” for the inevitable staff-follower while trying to find the styles and sizes I want. Online, no one treats you like a suspected criminal. – Mandisa W., 40, Bronx, N.Y. The contrast becomes extremely painful when I bring my African-American mentees to a high-end location in the hopes of exposing them to cultures outside their neighborhood. They are met with looks and comments that indicate they do not belong there. It fills me with a silent rage. Internally, I debate whether I needed to fight for my mentees by calling out store employees or teach my mentees the ways I have adopted to prove I am valuable in these spaces too. – Jessica Golson, 29, Philadelphia ‘Will they serve me? Will they be rude?’ [Anna Hansen, 75, speaks with plainclothes police officers outside the Starbucks where two black men were arrested in the Rittenhouse neighborhood in Philadelphia.] Anna Hansen, 75, speaks with plainclothes police officers outside the Starbucks where two black men were arrested in the Rittenhouse neighborhood in Philadelphia. Mark Makela for The New York Times Additional reader responses: A local store that I am fond of collects my bag at the entrance one-hundred percent of the time. That’s fine. They want to prevent shoplifting. My wife, who is not black (I am), was surprised to learn that the store even has this policy. Survey the store and white shoppers tend to have backpacks, giant purses, shopping bags — whatever they want. It makes my blood boil. I’m not proud that, rather than risk that anger, I just avoid shopping there when I’m carrying a bag. – Nicolas King, 41, San Francisco As a black person I can sit a bar waiting to order a drink for a long time. I am invisible. – Traci Wilson-Kleekamp, 53, Columbia, Mo. I’m Arab. My white husband feels comfortable to walk into an establishment if he needs to use the restrooms, even if he has no intention to buy anything. I will not do that, because I fear the reaction of the proprietors to me. I have noticed that my father won’t either. I always make a note of the racial makeup of a room I walk into. I think it’s pretty normal for people of color to do that. – Heba G., 30, New York, N.Y. I’m a black man from Philadelphia who happens to love white polo V-necks and fitted baseball hats. Regardless of the fact that I’m a graduate of Temple University with a bachelor’s in economics and a successful entrepreneur, I’m treated with disdain from whites in high-end districts. This changes slightly if I’m dressed business casual but there is still a coldness present even when I’m spending money with a business. So I make it a point to dress accordingly if I want things to go a little smoother. Racism is alive and thriving! – Rashon Dominique Fuller, 40, Atlanta I’m Puerto Rican with an abundance of thick black hair, so I try to avoid stores where I’ll stick out — mostly small locally owned stores (which is difficult because I’m a strong proponent of buying local). When I contemplate entering one of these stores, a million questions run through my mind:  Will they serve me? Will they be rude? Will they shadow me? Will they ask me if I am “lost?” – Amy Reyes, 51, Cleveland Before I go into any store, I close my handbag, I don’t put my hands in my pockets, and if my phone rings I make sure I am near a store employee before I reach into my bag to answer it. – Carole Simmons, 58, Savannah, Ga. I keep my hood off. I don’t wear sunglasses inside. I don’t put my hands in my pockets. I don’t touch anything I don’t intend to buy. I look at people that work there in their eyes so they know I’m not afraid of them knowing what I look like. – Marc Williams, 32, Indianapolis Although I grew up in the wealthy suburban North Shore of Chicago, it wasn’t until about 8 years ago when I was with a white friend walking down Michigan Avenue when I was exposed to the “possibility” that I could sit in the lobby of a fancy hotel without being a patron. I can remember the quizzical look on my friends face, “Yes, Kelsey why COULDN’T we sit here.” And the revelation in my mind that the answer may, at that moment at least, simply have been, “because I don’t BELIEVE I’m allowed here.” – Kelsey Taylor, Chicago [Philadelphia Starbucks Arrests, Outrageous to Some, Are Everyday Life for Others]( By ELIZABETH DIAS, JOHN ELIGON AND RICHARD A. OPPEL JR. Statistics show that the area of Philadelphia where two black men were arrested in a cafe has the greatest racial disparity in the city when it comes to police pedestrian stops. [Can Training Eliminate Biases? Starbucks Will Test the Thesis]( By NOAM SCHEIBER AND RACHEL ABRAMS Some researchers say training can help alleviated biased treatment, but others warn that it can be ineffective or even backfire. [Kendrick Lamar Shakes Up the Pulitzers]( [Kendrick Lamar is the first winner of the Pulitzer Prize for music who is not a classical or jazz musician.]( Kendrick Lamar is the first winner of the Pulitzer Prize for music who is not a classical or jazz musician. John Francis Peters for The New York Times The Pulitzer Prizes startled a lot of people this year with an award that’s usually greeted as an afterthought: [the music prize]( which went to Kendrick Lamar’s album [“DAMN.”]( It was not only the first time a music Pulitzer was given to a hip-hop album, but also to any work outside the more rarefied precincts of classical and, occasionally, jazz composition — indeed, to an album that reached No. 1 on the pop chart. And while it has been reported that “DAMN.” was the [unanimous choice of the Pulitzer music jury]( the award was met in other quarters with disgruntlement and even outrage. Zachary Woolfe, the classical music editor of The New York Times, and Jon Pareles, the chief pop music critic, discuss the choice. [Read their [conversation]( ADVERTISEMENT Connect With Us. [Samira Wiley in “The Handmaid’s Tale.”] Samira Wiley in “The Handmaid’s Tale.” Hulu Join us at 9 p.m. Eastern on Wednesdays as we examine topics related to race and culture on The Times’s[Facebook page](. This week we were joined by Gene Demby of [NPR’s Code Switch]( and Marlon Peterson, host of the “Decarcerated” podcast to discuss the reality of daily life for African-Americans. [[Watch]( Samira Wiley, the co-star of “The Handmaid’s Tale,” will be live on our Facebook page. Submit your question for her to readervoices@nytimes.com with the subject “Samira Wiley,” and tune in at 7:00 p.m. Eastern on Thursday, April 26 to hear her answers. Like Race/Related? Tell us what you’d like to see by writing to racerelated@nytimes.com, and help us grow by forwarding our newsletter to five of your friends and have them sign up at:  [( We want to hear from you. We’d love your feedback on this newsletter. Please email thoughts and suggestions to [racerelated@nytimes.com](mailto:racerelated@nytimes.com?subject=Newsletter%20Feedback). Want more Race/Related? Follow us on Instagram, where we continue the conversation about race through stunning visuals. [Instagram]( [INSTAGRAM]( Around the Web Here are some of the stories that we’re talking about, beyond The Times. Textbook Racism [[The Chronicle of Higher Education]( Republicans Bashing Muslims Without Repercussions [[Buzzfeed]( The Rise of America’s White Gangs [[The Guardian]( ADVERTISEMENT Editor’s Picks We publish many articles that touch on race. Here are a few you shouldn’t miss. [Black Cops on Both Sides of the Badge]( By ANTWAUN SARGENT In “Black Outlined Blue,” Daniel Edwards, the son of two law enforcement officials, examined the difficulties and insights of being both black and a police officer. [Whose Neighborhood Should Get a Street Named for Dr. King?]( By JOHN ELIGON A fight is brewing in Kansas City over whether choosing a boulevard on the mainly black East Side to name for Martin Luther King Jr. would honor his legacy or reinforce the segregation he fought. [Don’t Call Me a Genius]( By VIET THANH NGUYEN Nowadays, becoming an Asian-American writer, or being an American writer who happens to be of Asian descent, requires hard work and some luck but not much genius. [The History of White Power]( By KATHLEEN BELEW Twenty-three years after the Oklahoma City bombing, why are we still surprised by the movement’s strength? [In Puerto Rico, Stadium Lights Glow, Homes Do Not]( By JAMES WAGNER An island-wide blackout related to repairs of the electrical grid wrecked in Hurricane Maria left people in the dark, but a baseball game soldiered on. [Eddie Hernandez Doesn’t Care if His Food Isn’t ‘Authentic’]( By KIM SEVERSON The Atlanta chef, who mixes Mexican and Southern cuisines, has a new cookbook and an enduring creed: “You make do, and you make it taste good.” FOLLOW RACE/RELATED [Instagram] [racerelated]( Get more [NYTimes.com newsletters »]( | Get unlimited access to NYTimes.com and our NYTimes apps. [Subscribe »]( ABOUT THIS EMAIL You received this message because you signed up for NYTimes.com's Race/Related newsletter. [Unsubscribe]( | [Manage Subscriptions]( | [Change Your Email]( | [Privacy Policy]( | [Contact]( | [Advertise]( Copyright 2018 The New York Times Company 620 Eighth Avenue New York, NY 10018