Opinion Today: You don’t need to act like a jerk to be great

What the Olympics can teach us about excellence. 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[A view from above of two swimmers in a pool hugging over a lane barrier.] Katie Ledecky of the United States, left, and Ariarne Titmus of Australia, who came in second to her, after the 800-meter freestyle final in Paris. Marko Djurica/Reuters By Brad Stulberg Mr. Stulberg is the author of “[The Practice of Groundedness](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRooxXxP0T3aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cucGVuZ3VpbnJhbmRvbWhvdXNlLmNvbS9ib29rcy82Njc1MjYvdGhlLXByYWN0aWNlLW9mLWdyb3VuZGVkbmVzcy1ieS1icmFkLXN0dWxiZXJnLz9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDI0MDgxNyZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMzE3MTMmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTc1Mzg5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0Qgpmu_GQwGaHzwf7Uht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~): A Transformative Path to Success That Feeds — Not Crushes — Your Soul” and a co-founder of the newsletter The Growth Equation. Over the past decade, I’ve coached and counseled many high achievers, studied performance and written countless [articles](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRooxXxP0TdaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8wOC8zMC9vcGluaW9uL2hvdy10by1hY2NlcHQtY2hhbmdlLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9MzkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyNDA4MTcmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9MTMxNzEzJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTE3NTM4OSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZrvxkMBmh88H-1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD) and [essays](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRooxXxP0TbaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyMy8xMS8yNS9vcGluaW9uL2dyaWVmLW1lYW5pbmctbGlmZS5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjQwODE3Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEzMTcxMyZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNzUzODkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCma78ZDAZofPB_tSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) on the topic. In recent years, I’ve noticed a change in how elite performers of all kinds — in sports, science, the arts, education and business — strive for success: More and more, people are realizing that you don’t need to be a jerk to be great. As a matter of fact, being a jerk is associated with cheating and burnout. This shift was fully on display at the 2024 Olympic Games, which concluded last weekend and offered important lessons that all of us should carry forward. Time and time again, we saw that you can compete fiercely and respect your competition, as evidenced by Simone Biles cheering on one of her top challengers, Rebeca Andrade. That you can want to win badly yourself and display empathy for others in the arena with you. That you can be relentless and kind, disciplined and compassionate. Whereas pseudo-greatness is about being a tough guy who looks down on your competition, real greatness is grounded in bettering oneself, not merely defeating others. This doesn’t just sound nice; as I wrote in my recent [guest essay](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRooxXxP0TnaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wOC8wOS9vcGluaW9uL3BhcmlzLW9seW1waWNzLWdvbGQtZXhjZWxsZW5jZS5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjQwODE3Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEzMTcxMyZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNzUzODkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCma78ZDAZofPB_tSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) for Times Opinion, it is empirically true. Perhaps the most significant reward of chasing a big goal — whether it’s an Olympic medal, a promotion at work or even a political position — is the person you become and the relationships you forge along the way. Though the Games are over, we should continue to aspire toward this greater prize. As a result, our own versions of excellence will be more sustainable and fulfilling, and the culture of competition we inhabit will be a more decent one. READ THE FULL ESSAY HERE [A view from above of two swimmers in a pool hugging over a lane barrier.](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRooxXxP0TnaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wOC8wOS9vcGluaW9uL3BhcmlzLW9seW1waWNzLWdvbGQtZXhjZWxsZW5jZS5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjQwODE3Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEzMTcxMyZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNzUzODkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCma78ZDAZofPB_tSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~)[Guest Essay What the Olympics Can Teach Us About Excellence It’s not achieving a goal that matters. By Brad Stulberg](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRooxXxP0TnaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wOC8wOS9vcGluaW9uL3BhcmlzLW9seW1waWNzLWdvbGQtZXhjZWxsZW5jZS5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjQwODE3Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEzMTcxMyZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNzUzODkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCma78ZDAZofPB_tSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~) [Ad] [Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRooxXxP0SkaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9NTk3ODUmbGk9VFkmbT1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkNyZwPVRZXzIwMjQwODE3JnN0cGU9ZGVmYXVsdCZ0ZT0xJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyNDA4MTdXA255dEIKZrvxkMBmh88H-1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD) [Ad](~/AAAAAQA~/RgRooxXxP0SkaHR0cHM6Ly9saXZlaW50ZW50Lm5ld3lvcmt0aW1lc2luZm8uY29tL2NsaWNrP3M9NTk3ODUmbGk9VFkmbT1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkNyZwPVRZXzIwMjQwODE3JnN0cGU9ZGVmYXVsdCZ0ZT0xJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyNDA4MTdXA255dEIKZrvxkMBmh88H-1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD) THE WEEK IN BIG IDEAS ~/AAAAAQA~/RgRooxXxP0TqaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wOC8xMi9vcGluaW9uL2hhcnJpcy13YWx6LXBvbGl0aWNhbC1pbWFnaW5hdGlvbi5odG1sP2NhbXBhaWduX2lkPTM5JmVtYz1lZGl0X3R5XzIwMjQwODE3Jmluc3RhbmNlX2lkPTEzMTcxMyZubD1vcGluaW9uLXRvZGF5JnJlZ2lfaWQ9Nzc2NzQ5NTImc2VnbWVudF9pZD0xNzUzODkmdGU9MSZ1c2VyX2lkPWFhNDkxZWY3ZjFkOTY0ZTQ5NzlmYjc4NGU3NGUwMWQ3VwNueXRCCma78ZDAZofPB_tSG3RyaXN0cmFtYmFsZHdpbjkwQGdtYWlsLmNvbVgEAAAAAw~~ [Tim Walz and Kamala Harris high-five on a stage as people carry signs supporting the Democratic presidential ticket.] Kerem Yücel/Minnesota Public Radio, via Associated Press Guest Essay The Harris-Walz Ticket Is Our Opportunity for Political Imagination The candidates are creating space for our most extravagant imaginings. By Roxane Gay ~/AAAAAQA~/RgRooxXxP0TuaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wOC8xMi9vcGluaW9uL2JlYW5zLWNoaWNrcGVhcy1wbGFudC1iYXNlZC1mb29kLW1lYXQuaHRtbD9jYW1wYWlnbl9pZD0zOSZlbWM9ZWRpdF90eV8yMDI0MDgxNyZpbnN0YW5jZV9pZD0xMzE3MTMmbmw9b3Bpbmlvbi10b2RheSZyZWdpX2lkPTc3Njc0OTUyJnNlZ21lbnRfaWQ9MTc1Mzg5JnRlPTEmdXNlcl9pZD1hYTQ5MWVmN2YxZDk2NGU0OTc5ZmI3ODRlNzRlMDFkN1cDbnl0Qgpmu_GQwGaHzwf7Uht0cmlzdHJhbWJhbGR3aW45MEBnbWFpbC5jb21YBAAAAAM~ Photo Illustration by Scott Semler Guest Essay How to Make a Nation of Meat Eaters Crave the Humble Bean When it comes to food, pleasure is what changes the world. 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By Pamela Paul ~/AAAAAQA~/RgRooxXxP0TgaHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnl0aW1lcy5jb20vMjAyNC8wOC8xMy9vcGluaW9uL3NleC10cmFkZS13b3JrZXJzLXdhbGVzLmh0bWw_Y2FtcGFpZ25faWQ9MzkmZW1jPWVkaXRfdHlfMjAyNDA4MTcmaW5zdGFuY2VfaWQ9MTMxNzEzJm5sPW9waW5pb24tdG9kYXkmcmVnaV9pZD03NzY3NDk1MiZzZWdtZW50X2lkPTE3NTM4OSZ0ZT0xJnVzZXJfaWQ9YWE0OTFlZjdmMWQ5NjRlNDk3OWZiNzg0ZTc0ZTAxZDdXA255dEIKZrvxkMBmh88H-1IbdHJpc3RyYW1iYWxkd2luOTBAZ21haWwuY29tWAQAAAAD Four Women Share Their Experiences in the Sex Trade: ‘I Don’t Want to Be in This Forever.’ In this animated short film, women who work in the sex trade in Wales anonymously share their experiences. 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