Looking to make friends? Here’s a little help

When to consider alternative cancer therapies (and when not to) [View this email online]( [NPR Health]( May 21, 2023 by Andrea Muraskin This week: Whether you’ve recently relocated or your social skills haven’t quite rebounded from the pandemic, these [smart strategies for building new connections are for you](. And, from the mouths of babes: Gen Z’ers share [how to wrestle free from the grip of your smartphone apps](. Plus: a microbiologist and patient offers a [reality check on experimental cancer therapies](. --------------------------------------------------------------- [How to make friends as an adult, anywhere]( Kaz Fantone/NPR Twelve years ago in October, I moved to Indianapolis for a job, a place where I didn’t know a soul. I soon realized I’d be spending Thanksgiving alone if I didn’t act fast. So I hopped on [meetup.com]( and announced I’d be having a Thanksgiving potluck at my place. Seven strangers showed up on my doorstep, and someone even brought a turkey. Everyone seemed grateful to be there, and one of the guests became a regular hang-out buddy. Even if inviting strangers from the internet to your home isn’t your style, making friends as an adult requires intention, and putting yourself out there. And many of us could use a friend or two. A report earlier this month from the U.S. Surgeon General [on the country’s “loneliness epidemic”]( says the physical consequences of lacking human connection can be devastating, including a 29% increased risk of heart disease; a 32% increased risk of stroke; and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults. NPR’s Life Kit asked experts on friendship and belonging for insights into the awkward mission of making friends in a new place, or reconnecting with old ones. Their answers were quite strategic, including asking old acquaintances to meet up for a specific amount of time, and establishing routines where you can get to know "familiar strangers." "With routine, you're seeing the same faces and it becomes less intimidating to ask a question because you see them all the time,” says Melody Warnick, author of [This Is Where You Belong: Finding Home Wherever You Are](. [Here are five tips to help you find connection in a new place, or in your own backyard.]( [Plus: Lonely pet parrots find friendship through video chats, a new study finds]( --------------------------------------------------------------- Newsletter continues after sponsor message --------------------------------------------------------------- [How to break your social media habit – advice from teens who’ve made a change]( [Many teens and young adults struggle with overuse of screens. They also have good advice for how to have a healthy relationship with social media.]( Rose Wong for NPR Speaking of social connection, it’s established by now that overuse of social media contributes to feelings of isolation and depression, [especially for teens](. Young activists have founded organizations like the [Log Off Movement]( and [Look Up]( to help teens and parents with their mental health when it comes to social media apps. And if you’re glued to your phone – no matter your age – their guidance can help you too. You don’t have to quit social media all together, but you want to make it so you’re using the apps instead of the apps using you, says Rijul Arora, a digital wellness consultant based in Delhi, India. First, understand the way the apps’ business models work. The goal is to keep you on the phone, even if you don't want to stay on, so that you see more ads. “Social media apps know very well how to exploit human behavior to keep you coming back," says neuroscientist Anne-Noël Samaha at the University of Montreal. Second, conduct a “digital audit” to figure out how much time you really spend scrolling. (Yup, there are apps for that too.) [Learn what works to unplug, and get your brain space back.]( [Also: AI-generated fake faces have become a hallmark of online influence operations]( [Are experimental cancer therapies ever worth a shot?]( [Experimental therapies for cancer can be tempting when you're sick, but many fail to offer any benefit.]( Cavan Images/Getty Images/Cavan Images RF “Snake-oil sellers are all over cancer patients. They are all over me. These hucksters will make a buck ripping off cancer patients if they can,” warns Jeff Stewart, a molecular biologist who consults pharma companies on new cancer treatments. Stewart was diagnosed with stomach cancer last year, and offers advice for fellow patients in his new book [Living: Inspiration from a Father with Cancer](. Stewart says even legitimate drugmakers are often overly optimistic about new treatments. The reality is, the majority of new cancer therapies fail. And just because a drug works in mice doesn’t mean it will work in humans. If the medication isn’t FDA approved or recommended in cancer guidelines, Stewart writes, it’s usually not worth the investment. However there are a few situations in which it’s reasonable for a cancer patient to try an experimental treatment, Stewart says. [Read Stewart’s advice for patients – and a call-to-action for oncologists]( – in this excerpt from the new book. [Also: An X-ray tech made Laura feel beautiful as she struggled with hair loss during chemo]( Before you go: Janice Chang for NPR - Listen: What could we do with a [third thumb?]( - Our bodies respond differently to food. A new study [aims to find out how]( - In a Medicare scam, seniors got COVID tests they didn't order. [Could more fraud follow?]( - Lifesaving or stigmatizing? Parents wrestle with [obesity treatment options for kids​​​​​​​]( We hope you enjoyed these stories. Find more of [NPR's health journalism]( on Shots. All the best, Andrea Muraskin and your Shots editors --------------------------------------------------------------- Listen to your local NPR station. Visit NPR.org to find your local station stream. [Listen Live]( [Facebook]( [Instagram]( [Twitter]( What do you think of today's email? We'd love to hear your thoughts, questions and feedback: [shots@npr.org](mailto:shots@npr.org?subject=Newsletter%20Feedback) Enjoying this newsletter? Forward to a friend! [They can sign up here.]( Looking for more great content? [Check out all of our newsletter offerings]( — including Goats & Soda, Daily News, Best of NPR and more! You received this message because you're subscribed to Health emails. This email was sent by National Public Radio, Inc., 1111 North Capitol Street NE, Washington, DC 20002 [Unsubscribe]( | [Privacy Policy]( [NPR logo]