Where Should Friends Begin?

With special guest Esther Perel [View this email online]( [Invisibilia]( [Sonnenzimmer]( for NPR When your friendship is on the rocks, how do you deal? Two BFFs who call themselves brothers were drifting apart. So, they decided to try therapy, and we got to listen in! This week on Invisibilia, we explore friendship therapy with the one and only Esther Perel. [Listen to the Episode]( --------------------------------------------------------------- Newsletter continues after sponsor message --------------------------------------------------------------- Special Guest --------------------------------------------------------------- This episode was produced in collaboration with the podcast [Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel](. Check out "[Friendship - My Reliable Gift]( the companion episode to our story. Esther also hosts [How's Work? with Esther Perel]( which explores the complexities of workplace relationships, and is the author of two best-selling books [Mating in Captivity]( and [State of Affairs](. Photo credit: Leeor Wild Food for Thought --------------------------------------------------------------- BFFs and podcast co-hosts Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman have shared a lot about their experiences going to therapy together: - [Big Friendship]( - a book about “the power of society’s most underappreciated relationship.” - [Breakdowns: Summer of Friendship #7]( - on this episode of Call Your Girlfriend, the hosts discuss what brought them to friend therapy DIY --------------------------------------------------------------- Thinking about heading to therapy with a friend? We asked psychotherapist and licensed counselor [Barbie Atkinson]( to share tips on how to explore that option. 1. Talk to your friend about it. If you’re both familiar with therapy, the idea of going together can feel natural and organic. If not, it could feel a little bit weird or strange. When you approach your friend, use the ol’ sandwich approach. Top bread: how much you care about them and how much their friendship matters to you. Meat: what you’ve been feeling and your concern (try to do this without blaming or ultimatums). Bottom bun: propose solutions and talk about how you don’t want to lose this valuable friendship. 2. You may find it helpful to work with someone who is systemically trained -- a therapist who seeks to address people not only on the individual level, but as people in relationships, dealing with the interactions of groups and their interactional patterns and dynamics. Someone who is trained in marriage and family counseling would be a great start. 3. Since friend therapy is not as common as marriage or family counseling, you will definitely want to call to see if this therapist has experience working with peers, friends, or coworkers. Get a feel for this therapist’s comfort level working with a friend or a group of friends. 4. Chances are insurance will not cover friendship therapy. You will probably have to pay out of pocket for your sessions. Sometimes the therapist will split the fee between however many sessions, sometimes one person pays for it, sometimes you alternate paying for sessions. Either way, make sure everybody is on board with how this will get paid for. --------------------------------------------------------------- Stream your local NPR station. Visit NPR.org to find your local station stream. --------------------------------------------------------------- [Facebook]( [Twitter]( [Instagram]( Enjoying this newsletter? Forward to a friend! They can [sign up here](. Looking for more great content? [Check out all of our newsletter offerings]( — including Pop Culture Happy Hour, Code Switch and more! What do you think of today's email? We'd love to hear your thoughts, questions and feedback: [invisibiliamail@npr.org](mailto:invisibiliamail@npr.org?subject=Newsletter%20Feedback) You received this message because you're subscribed to Invisibilia emails. This email was sent by National Public Radio, Inc., 1111 North Capitol Street NE, Washington, DC 20002 [Unsubscribe]( | [Privacy Policy]( [NPR logo]