The Sometimes Strange Question Of What Makes You Cry

Plus: Kirk Douglas, The Super Bowl, and The Oscars by Linda Holmes Welcome! It was the week when we [said farewell to Kirk Douglas](. It was the week when we learned that Marvel may be [about to dance with Sam Raimi](. And it was the week when [the Super Bowl ads]( once again perplexed us all. Two reminders: We’ll be covering the Oscars this Sunday, and if you’re a Spotify user, you can prep for the event by searching “Oscars 2020 from Pop Culture Happy Hour” on Spotify to find a playlist of our episodes on all nine Best Picture contenders. And now: Let's get to it. Opening Argument: The Sometimes Strange Question Of What Makes You Cry I’m still getting over the ending of NBC’s The Good Place -- and I’m going to talk a little bit about the finale here, so if you haven’t seen it and don’t want to be spoiled, skip right down to “We Recommend.” Are you gone? Is it just the rest of us now? OK, good. I cried a lot during the finale of The Good Place -- more than I have at anything for a while -- but not necessarily in the places where I expected to. And not necessarily in the way I usually do at TV and movies. I used to tear up relatively easily at a wide variety of entertaintments, to be honest. I remember crying when Bobby Simone died on NYPD Blue, despite the fact that I rarely watched NYPD Blue. But the way I cried about five minutes into the finale of The Good Place, when Jason Mendoza -- the goofiest character on this show and maybe on any show -- announced that he was going to “go through the door” was not sniffly. It was sobbing. It was close my eyes, sob, sob, calm myself, open my eyes. That went on for several minutes. But then I calmed down for a while. I cried again when Chidi and Eleanor were talking. To be completely honest, I’m tearing up now. [The Good Place Image]( Colleen Hayes/NBC I don’t know exactly what makes me cry, and in truth, I don’t cry as often at movies and shows as I did years ago, before I was on antidepressant medication. I don’t think this is because crying at NYPD Blue was a symptom of depression; I just think I was more reactive in general, more likely to succumb. That sometimes bothers me a little, like I lost some strange brand of empathy, which is maybe why I’m always a little relieved now when something just destroys me. I remember when I was first getting accustomed to meds, one of the first things that made me cry was the second-season finale of the Netflix (now Pop) One Day At A Time -- if you know the show, you know why. And I was so grateful and relieved, just knowing it was still possible. But what remains a mystery to a great degree is why some things do and some things don’t. Not every loss does. Not even every death does. Out of everybody to cry about, why was it Jason Mendoza? Why, if I can cry at all, don’t I cry every single day at news stories? Why don’t all of us? I don’t know. I just don’t know. I know that what makes me cry in my personal life can be very, very surprising -- that’s why I’m suspicious of people who tell other people not to cry at work and things of that nature. Crying, for me, is like sneezing. It happens despite me, despite the circumstances in which I wish it wouldn’t happen. I cry at unserious things just because they’re frustrating; I don’t cry at serious things because I’m just exhausted. I absolutely lost my composure sobbing over a dumb paperwork mistake not long ago, only to realize I was actually delayed-crying over something else entirely, something actually deserving of tears. It’s all very mysterious. With movies and television and music and books, and with real life. Jason Mendoza, you sneaky Floridian dingdong. We Recommend: Our friend Bob Mondello has [a wonderful radio obit]( on Kirk Douglas. I’m biased, but I think radio obits are often the best remembrances of actors. And speaking of our fond connections, the Maximum Fun podcast network has a new podcast out that I heartily encourage you to try out. Called FANTI, it features Tre’vell Anderson and Jarrett Hill talking about what you might call problematic faves -- the first is Kevin Hart. It’s a great debut episode, and Anderson and Hill immediately become serious contenders in the ongoing battle for Podcasting’s Best Laugh. Oh, are we still on our favorites? Well, marvelous PCHH panelist Aisha Harris has a [terrific essay at The New York Times]( about the stories told and not told, and Hollywood’s fixation on telling the same ones again and again. And while you’re over there, Reggie Ugwu [has an essential history]( of the #OscarsSoWhite hashtag and campaign , featuring a lot of great interviews with people including April Reign, who started the whole thing. Having been a big fan of Ronan Farrow’s book Catch and Kill, about his Harvey Weinstein investigation and reporting, I wasn’t sure I needed the accompanying podcast of the same name. But it turns out I did, and I encourage you to seek it out. It’s excellent, and it’s very worthwhile to hear from the women he interviews in their own voices. What We Did This Week: [2020 Super Bowl Image]( Kevin Winter/Getty Images It was Super Bowl weekend, and on Monday morning, Stephen and I were joined by Felix Contreras, the host of NPR’s Alt Latino, along with Alt Latino contributor Stefanie Fernandez, for a chat. We talked about the J.Lo and Shakira halftime show, and [Felix and Stefanie brought so much context and thoughtfulness to the discussion]( that I could have carried on with them happily for ages. [Our Friday show is our annual Oscars preview]( done with the help of our buddy Bob Mondello. We went flying through as many categories as we could -- not just the topline ones -- and we hope you’ll share your picks with us on Facebook or Twitter. I wrote about the bonkers HBO documentary series McMillion$, which tells the story of the years-long defrauding of the McDonald’s Monopoly game -- a story many people never really heard, because it went to trial on September 10, 2001 and quickly fell out of the news. Glen [wrote about]( Birds of Prey, the Harley Quinn film that does without a Joker and is, Glen says, better for it. We’ll be covering it on the show next week. Stephen collected some of the funniest Tiny Desk Concerts of all time [for NPR Music](. What's Making Us Happy Every week on the show, we talk about some other things out in the world that have been giving us joy lately. Here they are: - Glen: [Legendary Children: The First Decade Of RuPaul’s Drag Race And The Last Century Of Queer Life]( - Bob: [Emma]( - Stephen: [The end of The Good Place]( - Linda: [McMillions]( What do you think of today's email? We'd love to hear your thoughts, questions and feedback: [pchh@npr.org](mailto:pchh@npr.org?subject=Newsletter%20Feedback) Enjoying this newsletter? Forward to a friend! They can [sign up here](. Looking for more great content? [Check out all of our newsletter offerings]( — including Music, Books, Daily News and more! You received this message because you're subscribed to Pop Culture Happy Hour emails. This email was sent by National Public Radio, Inc., 1111 North Capitol Street NE, Washington, DC 20002 [Unsubscribe]( | [Privacy Policy](