Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Tue, 23 Jan

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Thank you for signing up to the NewsThump Daily Briefing! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Tue, 23 Jan. We hope you enjoy them! Don't forget, you can read everything we do completely free from ads, get exclusive access to subscriber-only pieces, AND support NewsThump, all for the price of a single coffee a month. Click below to learn more! [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( [Barbie sequel to show Barbie coming into the real world to find only Ken nominated for an Oscar]( The sequel to the smash hit film Barbie will see the titular character return once again to the real world only to realise the movie world has chosen only to celebrate Ken. [Read more »]( [Ken doll to be given beergut and bald patch]( [Ken Doll new body image] Barbie's boyfriend Ken will be given a bald patch and a beergut in a move designed to give young boys a more realistic body image to which they can aspire. [Read more »]( [Archaeologists discover ancient porn mag in hedge]( [archeologist hedge] Archaeologists have revealed that they have discovered a pornographic magazine in a hedgerow in Colchester that pre-dates the Internet by several years. [Read more »]( [Avoid cocaine and stick to using slow-killing taxable drugs like tobacco and alcohol, warns government]( [Cocaine users] Cocaine can not be considered a 'safe party drug' until the deaths it apparently causes are no longer sudden, but are instead long, drawn out painful affairs like those suffered due to alcohol and tobacco. [Read more »]( [Man with air fryer left devastated after missing a conversation where he could have mentioned his air fryer]( [Man upset at work] A man who owns an air fryer was devastated today after missing out on a conversation about cooking where he could have mentioned his air fryer. Again. [Read more »]( [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( Copyright © 2024 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](