Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Tue, 05 Dec

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Thank you for signing up to the NewsThump Daily Briefing! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Tue, 05 Dec. We hope you enjoy them! Don't forget, you can read everything we do completely free from ads, get exclusive access to subscriber-only pieces, AND support NewsThump, all for the price of a single coffee a month. Click below to learn more! [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( [Updated Tory nativity will see Mary and Joseph shipped off to Rwanda]( [James Cleverly reveals the new Tory nativity] The Home Office has commissioned a new nativity play in which the true heroes are the government workers who ship Mary and Joseph off to Rwanda, despite increasing left-wing liberal pressure to adopt an open-door policy to refugees. [Read more »]( [Reducing the supply of migrant labour definitely won’t affect the wage inflation we’re trying to reduce, insists government]( [James Cleverly] The government is continuing its year-long crusade against the terrifying spectre of wage inflation by unveiling its latest economic masterstroke: capping immigration numbers to ensure wages definitely don't go up. [Read more »]( [‘Do we REALLY need pigs in blankets?’ asks man apparently intent on ruining Christmas]( [Pigs in blankets] A man has asked his wife today if they really need pigs in blankets as part of their Christmas dinner, in an apparent act of sabotage on the whole of Christmas. Simon Williams, who saw on the news that the price of chipolatas had risen substantially along with the rest of the ingredients for a [Read more »]( [Single man proudly displaying Christmas cards from his utility providers]( [Christmas card from utility provider] A single male from Bracknell has received more adverts disguised as Christmas cards than actual Christmas cards so far this year, but is nonetheless happy to display them around his home. 37-year-old Simon Williams, who lives alone and often thinks about writing a novel, had this to say, “From a distance they look very festive, [Read more »]( [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( Copyright © 2023 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](