Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Wed, 06 Sep

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Thank you for signing up to the NewsThump Daily Briefing! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Wed, 06 Sep. We hope you enjoy them! Don't forget, you can read everything we do completely free from ads, get exclusive access to subscriber-only pieces, AND support NewsThump, all for the price of a single coffee a month. Click below to learn more! [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( [Soft-touch immigration controls mean British autumn under threat from Indian summer, insists GB News]( [GB News on Indian Summer] The Indian summer being experienced by parts of the UK is threatening the far more deserving British autumn, according to GB News resident spokesracist, Nigel Farage. [Read more »]( [Heatwave causes woman to leave her ‘Emergency Cardigan’ at home for first time in 25 years]( [woman with a handbag in summer] As temperatures across the UK rocketed to those that most other countries cope with just fine, Faversham resident Sandra Williams made the shocking decision to simply abandon her knitwear on one arm of her sofa. [Read more »]( [“Now it’s too hot” declares man who spent last three months complaining summer was too cold]( [Sunny sky on warm day] 46-year-old Simon Williams from Hertfordshire has declared that it’s now “too hot”, despite having spent the past three months complaining about it being too cold. The precious little petal, known as Goldilocks to his friends, has spent the morning refilling his water bottle from the cold tap then holding it to his head, and ostentatiously [Read more »]( [One-day time management course could easily have been taught in one hour]( [business people on a course] The recently completely full-day training course on Time Management could easily have been taught in an hour, according to the attendees this morning. [Read more »]( [Parents busy picking best bit of house for obligatory Facebook school uniform photo]( [Child having photo taken on first day back at school] Facebook parents across the country have spent the morning frantically searching for the most flattering part of their home in which to photograph their children wearing their new school uniform. [Read more »]( [Collapsing school given immediate funding for repairs after being mistaken for a Tory MPs moat]( [An English secondary school in a state of disrepair] A school suffering from the effects of reinforced autoclaved aerated concrete (RAAC) has received an immediate cash boost courtesy of the taxpayer after an admin error saw it mistaken for the moat of a sitting Tory MP. [Read more »]( [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( Copyright © 2023 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](