Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Mon, 04 Sep

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Thank you for signing up to the NewsThump Daily Briefing! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Mon, 04 Sep. We hope you enjoy them! Don't forget, you can read everything we do completely free from ads, get exclusive access to subscriber-only pieces, AND support NewsThump, all for the price of a single coffee a month. Click below to learn more! [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( [Man proclaiming to be a ‘classical liberal’ actually just a bit racist]( [Man stood at the bar in a pub, pint in hand.] In a stunning turn of events, a man claiming to be a follower of “Western Liberalism” is not an impish provocateur desiring to keep people and markets free of state interference, but rather a somewhat ignorant man with a bizarre hostility towards dark-skinned people. [Read more »]( [Ale drinkers who ‘try before they buy’ are twats, according to everyone else in pub queue]( [real ale samples] According to the latest research, drinkers who insist on trying shots of craft ale before deciding which they want, are “massive f**king bellends”. [Read more »]( [We should rebalance the economy to manufacturing, insists man who’d never dream of working in a factory]( [Man in the office by the watercooler] A man who'd never dream of doing anything but a desk job is adamant the British economy needs more manufacturing today. [Read more »]( [Schools are only crumbling because the left-wing Wokerati made us cut the school repair budget in half, insists Government]( [Rishi Sunak pointing while giving a speech] After news emerged that Chancellor Rishi Sunak halved the schools repair budget in 2021, just two years before a number of schools were forced to close buildings due to crumbling concrete, government officials have insisted the left-wing wokerati made them do it. [Read more »]( [Simplified Myers-Briggs test to split people into either ‘Gullible Doormat’ or ‘F**k Your Stupid Quiz’ personality types]( [Man looking at his laptop screen] The Myers Briggs personality test, which is used in many workplaces to help people understand that their HR department is full of clueless chancers, has had a radical revamp which does away with the traditional 16 personality types, now deemed too numerous. [Read more »]( [Stock photo model disappointed to be associated with such a poor quality ‘satirical’ article]( [Stock photo model not impressed] A stock photo model has slammed the quality of the so-called ‘satirical’ article with which their image has been associated. [Read more »]( [Rest of the world agrees that America sounds well sophisticated not pronouncing the ‘h’ in herb]( [American Couple] The rest of the world has admitted that whenever Americans choose not to pronounce the ‘h’ in herb, they sound really cool and sophisticated. [Read more »]( [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( Copyright © 2023 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](