Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Thu, 13 Jul

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Thank you for signing up to the NewsThump Daily Briefing! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Thu, 13 Jul. We hope you enjoy them! Don't forget, you can read everything we do completely free from ads, get exclusive access to subscriber-only pieces, AND support NewsThump, all for the price of a single coffee a month. Click below to learn more! [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( [“Kids these days are too soft and don’t know how lucky they are”, insists Chimney Sweep who can no longer employ 9-year-olds]( [An 18th century chimney sweep] Woke parliamentarians introducing the Chimney Sweeps Act of 1834 will prevent small businesses across the country from employing the best and most nimble children, threatening the livelihood of hundreds of chimney sweeps, according to sources today. [Read more »]( [“Chuck it off a ferry” – Rebekah Vardy advises Boris how to deal with his phone troubles]( [Rebekah Vardy offers phone advice to Boris Johnson] Boris Johnson's issues with a troublesome set of Whatsapp messages could be all over with a brief ferry trip across the North Sea, according to Rebekah Vardy. [Read more »]( [“The dog ate my passcode”, Boris explains why he hasn’t provided his Whatsapp messages to Covid enquiry]( [Boris Johnson explains why he can't provide his Whatsapp messages] Boris Johnson has been unable to provide the Whatsapp messages he is legally required to provide to the Covid enquiry, because his dog ate his passcode. [Read more »]( [Hostage negotiators called in after man held against his will by Virgin Media contract]( [unhappy man on the phone] Professional hostage negotiators have been called in to help resolve a man's attempts to cancel his Virgin Media contract. [Read more »]( [The Sun Says: John Proctor is Definitely a Witch. Hang Him.]( [The Sun exclusive of John Proctor at the Salem Witch trials] John Proctor has been a fine businessman and a good neighbour to many in Salem. Despite that, he’s definitely a witch and deserves to be hanged. [Read more »]( [The Sun to confound its critics by acting with kindness and compassion towards a man who has broken no laws and is in the middle of a mental health crisis]( [The Sun newspaper] The wife of Huw Edwards has confirmed he is the BBC presenter at the centre of the current media storm, and that he is currently undergoing treatment for a mental health crisis, leading The Sun newspaper to confirm it will leave him well alone. [Read more »]( [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( Copyright © 2023 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](