Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Wed, 05 Jul

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Thank you for signing up to the NewsThump Daily Briefing! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Wed, 05 Jul. We hope you enjoy them! Don't forget, you can read everything we do completely free from ads, get exclusive access to subscriber-only pieces, AND support NewsThump, all for the price of a single coffee a month. Click below to learn more! [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( [Woman feeling a bit chilly declares it to be proof that global warming is hoax]( [Woman in a cardigan] The scientific community has been rocked by the news that a woman has proof that global warming is a hoax in the form of her feeling cold enough to put on a cardigan at the start of July. [Read more »]( [‘New Conservatives’ replaced as the newest voice of real Conservatives by ‘Newer Conservatives’]( [Newer Conservatives] A new group of Conservative MPs, the Newer Conservatives, have come together to insist the government reduces the number of immigrants even further than the numbers proposed by the New Conservatives. [Read more »]( [Stephen Barclay to receive birthday beats for NHS’ 75th Birthday]( [Steve Barclay, UK Health Secretary] Nurses and doctors nationwide are queuing up to administer a dose of birthday beats to Stephen Barclay. [Read more »]( [Ant and Dec reboot to be called e-Scooter Grove]( [Ant and Dec] Ant and Dec have announced plans to reboot the much-loved teen drama Byker Grove, but with e-Scooters and kids just sat around vaping. [Read more »]( [British people reluctant to protest due to amount of singing involved]( [Man in a T-shirt shrugging his shoulders and looking at the camera] Despite the perilous state of the country, British people have yet to make their feelings known in the form off mass protests. Although this perplexes many, the reason is quite simple – there’s far too much singing involved. [Read more »]( [Donald Trump unveils statues of Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum at Mar-a-Lago to celebrate Independence Day]( [Trump unveils statues of Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum] Donald Trump is making sure everybody remembers the events of the first Independence Day with the unveiling of two new statues to celebrate the lives of the brave heroes who saved the world. [Read more »]( [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( Copyright © 2023 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](