Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Fri, 26 May

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Thank you for signing up to the NewsThump Daily Briefing! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Fri, 26 May. We hope you enjoy them! Don't forget, you can read everything we do completely free from ads, get exclusive access to subscriber-only pieces, AND support NewsThump, all for the price of a single coffee a month. Click below to learn more! [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( [Cornwall absolutely f**king rammed already]( [Cornish flag flying over a beach] Cornwall is f**king rammed already it is revealed today as almost every single person in England heads there for the bank-holiday half-term break. [Read more »]( [Wokeness made my cock and balls fall off]( [A horrified man] A Chelmsford man has told the harrowing story of how the modern fad for wokeism made his cock and balls fall off. [Read more »]( [Piers Morgan and Mizzy join forces to create first ever supertwat]( [Piers Morgan meets Mizzy] Following an interview described by onlookers as “the soulless meeting their soulmates”, one of the longest-established bellends in the UK will collaborate with London’s rising star of TikTok twattery in a union experts claim will see new records of colossal prickishness. [Read more »]( [Office bastard organises Friday afternoon meeting]( [business people sitting in a boring meeting] It has emerged that a total bastard has organised a meeting which you will be compelled to attend later today, despite it being Friday afternoon before a bank holiday weekend. [Read more »]( [Multi-millionaire perfectly comfortable with the idea of a recession if it makes it look like he’s good at his job]( [Jeremy hunt on Downing Street] Multi-millionaire and Chancellor of Exchequer Jeremy Hunt has this morning confirmed he is comfortable with the idea of the nation slipping into recession as long as it brings down inflation to give the impression he’s good at his job. Hunt explained that inflation not coming down as fast as he would like could lead to [Read more »]( [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( Copyright © 2023 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](