Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Fri, 28 Apr

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Fri, 28 Apr, we hope they provide you with a few fleeting moments of respite from the calamity continually unfolding around us. [Spanish STI rates plummet as fewer Britons choose EU holidays]( [Young brits on holiday abroad, but outside the EU now] Spain is longer a giant petri dish of sexually transmitted diseases thanks to Brexit. [Read more »]( [Man cancels gym membership he never uses to subscribe to fitness app he’ll never open]( [Man looking at an app on his phone] A man has stopped wasting money on a gym membership he never used and has started wasting money on an online fitness class he never attends. [Read more »]( [Jury to seek death penalty after Ed Sheeran plays guitar in court]( [Ed Sheeran playing guitar in front of a horrified jury] After Ed Sheeran demonstrated his guitar-playing in a New York courtroom, jurors have called for the highest penalties - up to and including the electric chair or firing squad - in the case. [Read more »]( [Senior Tories warn of ‘dangerous precedent’ if you can’t give cushy high-profile jobs to people who help you borrow lots of money]( [Boris Johnson ruffling his hair] After Richard Sharp was forced to resign as Chairman of the BBC after an investigation found his involvement in an £800k loan to Boris Johnson, and his decision not to reveal it, made his appointment completely unethical. [Read more »]( [Government introduces robust system to tell Sudanese refugees to f**k off]( [Suella Braverman with devil horns] As the crisis in Sudan escalated over the past weeks, the Government moved quickly to introduce a robust system that will quickly and efficiently tell Sudanese refugees to f**k off. [Read more »]( [Some of the newest NewsThump T-shirt designs]( Have you checked out the latest NewsThump T-shirts? Click the image to see the full range! Copyright © 2023 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](