Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Wed, 26 Apr

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Wed, 26 Apr, we hope they provide you with a few fleeting moments of respite from the calamity continually unfolding around us. [Man delighted with birthday haul of reusable gift bags]( [Lots of gift bags] A man loved his birthday presents because they came in beautiful gift bags that will save him from future wrapping disasters. [Read more »]( [Beautiful woman blissfully unaware she’s actually very boring to talk to]( [beautiful woman unaware she's not very interesting to talk to] A beautiful woman is completely unaware she's not very interesting to talk to, we can report today. [Read more »]( [Conservatives putting huge strain on public services, warn immigrants]( [Unhappy woman giving the thumbs down] Immigrants working in the public sector have warned that the Conservatives are placing an intolerable strain on public services. [Read more »]( [British government urges anyone fleeing Sudan to save themselves some time by turning around and heading south to Rwanda]( [Suella Braverman on the beach in front of asylum seekers arriving by boat with a sign saying "They're not human"] As fighting escalates in Sundan, British government officials have helpfully told anyone trying to escape the fighting that Rwanda is in the opposite direction. [Read more »]( [Holiday of a lifetime completely ruined by broken in-flight entertainment system]( [Man sitting on an airplane with his head in his hands] A dream holiday to Japan has been wrecked by a 12-hour flight with no telly. [Read more »]( [“I will never accept a microchip tag” insists man glued to his GPS-enabled 5G-capable camera and microphone]( [Bearded man using his phone] A man has revealed today that he will never allow himself to be tracked using a microchip, after reading about the possibility on his GPS-enabled 5G-capable device equipped with a high-definition camera and microphone. [Read more »]( [Some of the newest NewsThump T-shirt designs]( Have you checked out the latest NewsThump T-shirts? Click the image to see the full range! Copyright © 2023 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](