Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Fri, 10 Mar

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Fri, 10 Mar, we hope they provide you with a few fleeting moments of respite from the calamity continually unfolding around us. Thanks again for subscribing! [Achilles’ weaknesses actually trashy TV and Lloyd-Webber musicals]( Legendary Greek warrior Achilles was a sucker for a good rom-com movie, and regularly enjoyed binge-watching Married at First Sight whilst eating a massive tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream, it has been revealed today. [Read more »]( [Fiona Bruce begins stand-up career with joke about what to say to a woman with two black eyes]( Fiona Bruce has used her role as the presenter of the BBC’s flagship political panel show to announce she was going to try to break into comedy and will be touring working men’s clubs with her new show “Cheer up, pet! It’ll fade by the weekend.” [Read more »]( [Prince Edward given ‘Bestest Behaved Prince’ title by King Charles]( Prince Edward has been awarded the title of ‘Best Behaved Prince’ by King Charles. [Read more »]( [Woman wonders if she ‘might’ own too many cushions]( Homeowner Sharon Williams has today begun to wonder if the impossible has finally happened, and she now finds herself owning too many cushions. [Read more »]( [Weird smell, bee on the line, ugly hats – train companies announce new season of delay excuses]( Train companies have announced the new list of excuses for delays to services during the coming season, including weird smell, ugly hats, a bee on the line, ennui, and an unstable black hole. [Read more »]( [A selection of NewsThump T-shirt designs]( Have you checked out the latest NewsThump T-shirts? Click the image to see the full range! Copyright © 2023 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](