Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Wed, 25 Jan

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Wed, 25 Jan, we hope they provide you with a few fleeting moments of respite from the calamity continually unfolding around us. Thanks again for subscribing! [Boris Johnson offers Ukraine a couple of rusty water cannons]( Following the German decision to send an initial shipment of F14 Leopard tanks, and the U.S. sending M1 Abrams, the UK government, pushed by former Prime Minister Boris Johnson, has offered two ageing water cannons. [Read more »]( [Ukraine surprised to discover Satnav on German tanks set to Paris]( Delays to deliveries of tanks from Germany to Ukraine were due to the satnav being set to Paris, it has emerged this morning. [Read more »]( [Tommy Lee Royce offered job in Met Police]( Tommy Lee Royce has been offered a job in the Metropolitan Police it has been revealed today. [Read more »]( [How to be suitably enraged by the change of name for Black Boy Lane in Haringey – an idiot’s guide to joining the front lines of the culture war]( Are you desperate to join the front lines of the culture war, but struggling to know what you should be angry about, and for what reason? Or are you irrationally angry at some things but need a better way to articulate your reasoning to the woke brigade who are obviously to blame? Then this guide is for you. [Read more »]( [Northampton calls for reunification with Southampton]( The Midlands town of Northampton has issued an ultimatum to the port city of Southampton, on England’s Southern coastline, demanding that the regions move back closer together. [Read more »]( [Man who has never been to Scotland looking forward to getting drunk to celebrate poet he’s never read]( An Englishman has expressed his excitement at the possibility of having a drink or twelve to celebrate Burns night, whatever that is. [Read more »]( [Hilarious Man says ‘the interwebs’]( A hilarious man has referred to the internet as ‘the interwebs’ because he is very, very hilarious. [Read more »]( [A selection of NewsThump T-shirt designs]( Have you checked out the latest NewsThump T-shirts? Click the image to see the full range! Copyright © 2023 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](