Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Tue, 01 Nov

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Tue, 01 Nov, we hope they provide you with a few fleeting moments of respite from the calamity continually unfolding around us. Thanks again for subscribing! [Matt Hancock’s first bushtucker trial to involve skydiving into the jungle without the appropriate PPE]( Matt Hancock’s first I’m a Celebrity challenge will involve skydiving into the jungle without the appropriate PPE, it has been revealed today. [Read more »]( [Kanye West: I actually quite like the Jews who aren’t part of the evil global cabal that runs everything]( Leading prick Kanye West has attempted to roll back his recent anti-Semitism, claiming that he has no problem with most Jews, it’s just the ones who are part of the evil global cabal who run everything that he doesn’t like. [Read more »]( [Red faces in Commons after Suella Braverman mislays speech and reads lyrics from her favourite Skrewdriver song]( The government suffered another embarrassment after it was discovered that the Home Secretary’s fiery speech was actually the result of a paperwork mix-up which resulted in her reading out loud from a printout of lyrics made for her Patriot Warrior karaoke night. [Read more »]( [Energy companies making billions in profit every month during an energy crisis is just further proof that privatisation works, insists government]( The government has reacted to BP making an $8.2 billion quarterly profit in the midst of an energy crisis by insisting it is just further proof that privatising essential national services works really well. [Read more »]( [A selection of NewsThump T-shirt designs]( Have you checked out the latest NewsThump T-shirts? Click the image to see the full range! Copyright © 2022 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](