Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Fri, 19 Apr

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Thank you for signing up to the NewsThump Daily Briefing! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Fri, 19 Apr. We hope you enjoy them! Don't forget, you can read everything we do completely free from ads, get exclusive access to subscriber-only pieces, AND support NewsThump, all for the price of a single coffee a month. Click below to learn more! [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( [Rishi Sunak to end ‘sick note culture’ by putting coma patients to work as draft excluders]( [Coma patient put to work as draft excluder] Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has outlined plans to end 'sick note culture', citing the example of coma patients who could easily take up gainful employment as draft excluders. [Read the rest of this story »]( [Aston Villa’s Emi Martinez spends evening going door-to-door in Lille telling residents to ‘Shhh’]( [Emi Martinez going door to door telling Lille fans to "Shhh!"] Fresh from a triumphant penalty shootout against Lille in the Europa Conference League, Aston Villa goalkeeper Emi Martinez decided the local populace needed a more personal touch to truly digest their defeat. [Read the rest of this story »]( [Are you living in the Metaverse? If you didn’t opt out in your Facebook settings, you could be!]( [Metaverse meetings] It has emerged that huge numbers of people could be living in deranged cyborg Mark Zuckerberg’s Metaverse without actually realising it. [Read the rest of this story »]( [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( Copyright © 2024 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](