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Your NewsThump Daily Briefing for Mon, 25 Mar

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newsthump.com

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newsletter@newsthump.com

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Mon, Mar 25, 2024 05:04 PM

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This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com Hello from NewsThump! T

This is your daily summary of the topical jokes and stories on NewsThump.com [View this email in your browser]( [NewsThump Daily Briefing Header]( Hello from NewsThump! Thank you for signing up to the NewsThump Daily Briefing! Below you will find the top stories on our site for today Mon, 25 Mar. We hope you enjoy them! Don't forget, you can read everything we do completely free from ads, get exclusive access to subscriber-only pieces, AND support NewsThump, all for the price of a single coffee a month. Click below to learn more! [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( [Man paralysed after being crushed under the weight of single perfectly manageable task]( [Man paralysed by weight of single manageable task] A man has been left utterly paralysed after being crushed under the immense weight of the single perfectly manageable task he has ahead of him today. Simon Williams, a self-employed consultant from Basingstoke, is facing the single simple task of reconciling his receipts for the past two months so his accountant can do his books, [Read the rest of this story »]( [Emily Thornberry criticises Nike’s St George’s cross after someone hangs it from a council house window]( [Nike St George's cross hanging from a council house window] Shadow Attorney General Emily Thornberry has today waded into the Nike St George's cross controversy, after seeing it hung from the window of a council house in a marginal seat. [Read the rest of this story »]( [‘Clean up my filthy excrement with your hands you foolish human’ laughs tiny despotic dog]( [Small dog] A small dog has mercilessly mocked a human being for having to clean up the animal’s mess. [Read the rest of this story »]( [Annoying pillock thinks it’s acceptable to go to a wedding dressed like he’s in Peaky Blinders]( [Man dressed like he's in peaky blinders for wedding] An irritating dickhead has caused unease at a wedding by showing up wearing a long black trench coat, a three-piece suit, a chain watch and a flat cap covering a pudding bowl buzz cut that he thinks is dashing but makes everyone else suspect he’s a bit racist on social media. [Read the rest of this story »]( [Parents who want LGBT rights classes banned because they are “confusing” somehow fine with algebra]( [Confused parents with their children] Parents who want classes around LGBT rights stopped on the grounds that they are "confusing" are somehow fine with all of the other confusing shite their children will have hammered into their ears at school. [Read the rest of this story »]( [SUPPORT NEWSTHUMP AND GET EVERYTHING AD-FREE!]( Copyright © 2024 Thump Publishing Limited, All rights reserved. You are receiving this email because you asked us to send you a daily summary of NewsThump's headlines. A wise choice, may we add. Our mailing address is: Thump Publishing Limited 40 Caversham RoadReading, Berkshire RG1 7BT United Kingdom [Add us to your address book]( Want to change how you receive these emails? You can [update your preferences]( or [unsubscribe from this list](. [Mailchimp Email Marketing](

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