Tantrums + Friendships - Things to Remember to Be School-Ready

Plus, what's currently in our kids' backpacks! Learn better. Play smarter. | [View this email in your browser]( Parenting made simpler. Written by experts. Designed for intentional parents. Be a Plinkit Pro Thank you for reading! This newsletter is made possible through Plinkit Pro membership support. Please consider being a [PLINKIT PRO]( if you aren't already, to enjoy access to all our expert guidance and events. Membership support allows us to keep bringing you time-saving and practical child development insights. Or, [email us](mailto:hello@myplinkit.com) to find out how your entire school or workplace can benefit from [PLINKIT PRO.]( [BE A PLINKIT PRO]( Tantrums + Friendships - Things to Remember to Be School-Ready Tantrums + friendships...seemingly unrelated topics that have everything in common at the start of each school year - they put children and parents on an emotional roller coaster. Both have the power to dishevel a child and leave parents in an aftermath of wondering what to do. And while there is plenty to read on these topics (just see our Plinkit articles below), based on our many parent-teacher conversations, years of recess duty and countless hours watching children tepidly navigate new classrooms and playgrounds, these are our most practical takeaways. On Tantrums - 3 Things to Remember In-the-Moment (for younger children) - Use less words, talk less - In general, grown-ups tend to over-talk when a child is in the throes of a tantrum; we either try to reason or explain. However, children are not accessing higher thinking skills like language and reasoning during a tantrum. So, keep your words simple. For example, "I can see you’re really mad. I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk." or "No hitting. No hurting. I’m here if you need me." - Don’t ignore, let emotions ride, but stay close for when they’re ready for comfort - Ignoring teaches a child: 1) An adult is not reliable when they need comfort and support; and 2) They have no model for how to manage stress and emotions. Instead, stay calm and close to them while they (safely) move through their big feelings, as dramatic as they may be. This way, they'll know they can go to you when they've calmed down. - Be kind, they’re likely tired - The beginning of a new school year can be emotionally and physically taxing. Expect your child to be tired for the first month or so as they work hard to adjust to new routines, new faces, new environments and different emotions. That fatigue will likely bring increased irritability, crankiness, talking back, tantrums, meltdowns, etc. Brace yourself (with our [Tantrums series]( and remind yourself that defiance often requires reconnection (vs. discipline). On Friendships - 3 Skills to Teach Your Child Proactively (for young school-aged children) For older children, social integration and how they relate with their peers is a big part of how they perceive 'school'. Developmentally, it’s also an important part of their learning - they begin to think abstractly, develop the maturity to see the world outside of themselves and in context to their peers and negotiate the social landscape of larger groups. To get in front of potential friendship issues, here’s three skills to consider teaching your child proactively: - How to join an existing group/game already in play: Coach your child to ask, "What are you playing?" (which teaches your child to ask for information so they can decide if they want to join) instead of "Can I play?" (which makes it easier for another child to say, "No.") There are [many reasons why a child might exclude]( that have nothing to do with not wanting another child to join. - What it means to be a 'good' friend with an emphasis on skills to: 1) Be inclusive; and 2) Handle conflict and disagreement. Often, coaching a child to include or teaching them conflict resolution strategies happens as a reaction to a situation that has already transpired. Empower your child proactively with [automatic social scripts]( like, "No problem - I can move over to make some room," and strategies like, ["I" messages]( and the [Wheel of Choices]( to build your child’s self-confidence and Friend Skill Set. - Manage personal space boundaries: Let your child know that classrooms and playgrounds can be filled with lots of excited bodies and feelings in small spaces. So, being able to explain how you feel to your friends when you feel uncomfortable and likewise, listening to your friends when they tell you how they’re feeling are helpful. For an easy way to explain this to your child, here’s [a video you could watch together.]( (Engaging and beloved by children of all ages from Kindergarten teacher extraordinaire and Plinkit contributor, Doug Zesiger of Stinky Tales). While there isn’t a silver bullet that makes parenting easier, the simplicity of these nuggets can make it easier to move through the ups and downs of new transitions. Clever Finds Currently in Our Kids' Backpacks For Younger Children - [Water bottle]( - This one is extremely lightweight and easy to drink from (with one hand!). - [Memory game snack pack]( - An interactive way of making snack time brain-boosting + fun. - [Woody crayons]( - Chunky for little hands. Allows for thick, soft strokes - just the way little ones learn. - [Beginners pencil]( - A jumbo-sized barrel with a thick graphite core that won't easily break. (Should you use a triangular-shaped pencil? Read more about [How to Hold a Pencil]( - [Magnetic letters kit]( - We love how this has both upper and lower case letters. The magnetic white board makes it easy to practice [letter identification]( and letter sounds for young learners, and [spelling]( and [phonics]( for emerging readers. For Older Children - [Hundreds board]( - Learning number values is commonly difficult for young children. Make it easier and fun by making it visual and tactile. - [Mechanical pencil]( - If you’re experimenting with a mechanical pencil and want a good old-fashioned lead size, we love the feel of this alternative. - [Eraser]( - Hands-down our favorite eraser. Requires little force, doesn’t ruin the underlying paper (no holes!) and has minimal debris. - [Mesh pencil case]( - So functional! The mesh allows children to easily see what’s inside. The gussets make it easy to store and retrieve small items like erasers, sharpeners, etc. No more fishing around! - [Inspirational lunchbox notes]( - Mini messages that will brighten your child’s day. PLINKIT POST [Tantrums - What You Could Do]( Bite-sized with simple scripts for what to do in the first 5 minutes. Learn what "Connect, then redirect," looks like in practice. [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2017%2F09%2Ftantrums-part-2-could-do%2F) [Share]( PLINKIT POST [How to Encourage Listening]( A simple sequence for helping your child develop the habit of paying attention to you - the first time you ask. [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2017%2F08%2Fget-child-listen%2F) [Share]( PLINKIT POST [How to Navigate a Healthy Parent/Child Separation]( The fundamental Do’s and Don’t’s to prepare your child for a healthy separation so that they experience less emotional upset and challenging behavior - all in a printable table. [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2020%2F09%2Fparent-child-separation-anxiety-goodbye-routine-preschool%2F) [Share]( PLINKIT POST [Answers to Common Questions on Parent/Child Separation]( From "How long is it OK for my child to cry?" to "What should I do if my child is screaming?" - our answers to commonly asked questions on this often emotional experience. [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2020%2F09%2Fparent-child-separation-struggle-goodbye-routine-preschool-questions-answers%2F) [Share]( PLINKIT POST [How to Teach Your Child to Be a 'Good' Friend]( Use our practical scripts and prompts to help your child put their Friend Skill Set into practice. Plus, a note on 'crushes'. [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20%0Ahttps%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2021%2F04%2Fhow-to-teach-your-child-to-be-a-good-kind-brave-friend%2F) [Share]( PLINKIT POST [How to Teach 3 Key Social Skills]( Teach your child basic social skills to experience social success in 3 key areas: greet others, make eye contact and join an activity or group. [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2017%2F08%2Fteach-child-social-skills%2F) [Share]( PLINKIT POST [Kindergarten Readiness 101]( Your quick guide to, "Is my child ready for Kindergarten?" [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20https%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2018%2F08%2Fkindergarten-readiness-101%2F) [Share]( PLINKIT POST [Kindergarten Parent Readiness]( Ever wonder what to ask your child's teacher at the start of the school year? Here’s tips straight from a teacher on what you should ask and share. [READ MORE]( [Forward](mailto:?subject=Something%20Interesting%20from%20Plinkit&body=I%20found%20this%20Plinkit%20article%20interesting%20and%20thought%20you%20would%20too.%20Check%20it%20out%3A%20%0Ahttps%3A%2F%2Fmyplinkit.com%2F2018%2F08%2Fkindergarten-readiness-part-3-parent-readiness%2F) [Share]( Learn better. Play smarter. [EXPLORE OUR TOPICS]( FOLLOW US: If you liked what you read, FORWARD to a friend! Our content is written in partnership with the best child development experts. No ads. 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