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moneysavingmom.com
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crystal@moneysavingmom.com
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Sat, Jun 16, 2018 10:05 AM
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Hi, {NAME}! I haven’t told you this until now because I was a little too scared to put it out t
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Hi, {NAME}!
I havenât told you this until now because I was a little too scared to put it out there, but here goes...
One of my deepest hopes for 2018 was that I would foster real, true, authentic relationships with a few women. The kind where I didnât hold back, walk on eggshells, question and over-analyze what I did or said and wonder if it was too much or not enough.
The kind where I could just swing wide open the doors of my heart and home and let people in to see everything â the messy and the beautiful. The kind where I felt fully known, fully loved, and fully accepted.
(As Iâve changed so much in the last two years, itâs meant that most of my relationships have changed, too. And itâs been sad for me to realize that some friendships I thought were close were based upon me showing up more as I thought someone wanted me to, not as I truly am. I realized I had to get healthier as a person and live into my true self before I could show up fully in relationships.)
When I made this big goal for 2018, I honestly struggled to believe it would be possible. I didnât know then what I know now: I had been living for years under the lie that, âI donât know how to be a good friend.â
I believed that lie so much that it had become my truth. And I let it hold me back, keep me from initiating, paralyze me from reaching out, and shackle me from opening up my heart and taking big risks.
The first week in March, at Discipleship Retreat, the scales fell off my eyes and I saw how this label of me being defective at relationships was killing my ability to fully engage.
Through tears and scary vulnerability, I laid this all out there for my small group. I told them the raw honest truth. And it freaked me out to put it all out there.
But something broke free in my heart by doing that. And for the very first time in my life, Iâve been able to fully and deeply and wholeheartedly love people without worrying about how they would view me or whether they would reject me or if Iâd be too much or not enough for them.
And it has been life-changing with a capital L! Itâs been profound and holy and downright amazing. And it has completely transformed my relationships!
-Crystal
P.S. Looking for a really soft, comfy, and cute tee for summer? I'm loving [this one](. And it's just $16.99 from Amazon! Grab it [here]( (just pardon the fact that they didn't steam or iron it before taking a picture of it on the model!!!)
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