🥛 $1B, government bribes, and prostitutes..👀

🥛 $1B, government bribes, and prostitutes..👀                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 October 12, 2023 | [Read Online]( Today’s edition is brought to you by [Toku]( - where industry leaders like dYdX Foundation and Mina Foundation turn to administer token grants to their global workforce. [Save time and money with Toku!]( GM. This is Milk Road, the crypto newsletter that pairs perfectly with a Pop-Tart. (Except for the strawberry kind. That stuff is nasty) Here’s what we’re serving up today: - $1B, government bribes, and Thai prostitutes 🚨 - The psychology of a market cycle 📊 - Stolen funds: recovered! 🍪 [Prices as of 10:30 AM ET. Click here for our Fear & Greed Index]( $1B, GOVERNMENT BRIBES, AND THAI PROSTITUTES 🚨 Pardon my French. But… HOLY SH*T. The U.S. vs Sam Bankman-Fried trial just got crazier. In case you haven’t heard, yesterday’s trial included everything: - Chinese government bribes - The Saudi Crown Prince - Thai prostitutes - Price manipulation - Collusion [Source: Tenor]( Don’t worry. I spit my OJ out too… Here’s the 120-second summary of all the action: 1/ Frozen funds, Chinese bribes, and Thai prostitutes In 2021, the Chinese government froze $1B of Alameda’s funds on Huobi and [OKX](. Uh-oh. Big problem. So, they came up with 3 possible solutions… OPTION 1: Hire lawyers to negotiate with Chinese officials to get the funds back. (legal solution) OPTION 2: Use wallets that belonged to “Thai prostitutes” to try to get the money. (probably illegal, definitely frowned upon) OPTION 3: Bribe Chinese officials with $150M. (straight-up illegal) What did they choose? Well actually, they tried all 3… Lawyers. Failed. Prostitutes. Failed. The $150M bribe was the only one that actually worked. (go figure) 2/ The Seven Balance Sheets Caroline created 7 alternative balance sheets. The goal? Make Alameda look less risky to investors/lenders, so they could get more money. And now, introducing Snow White and the 7 Dwarves… **static noise** We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you a quick word from our sponsor… [MAKE TOKEN GRANT ADMINISTRATION SIMPLE]( It’s no secret that token management gets complicated. Between learning the crypto language and the tax obligations, token management can feel like an obstacle course. But it doesn’t have to. That’s where [Toku]( steps in. [Toku:]( - Provides practical tools to handle token grants, allowing for effective oversight of token distributions for employees, contractors, advisors and investors. - Guides you through the token grant process with legal templates, vesting tracking, reporting, and tax management. - Handles all grant types - Token Purchase Agreements, Token Options, Restricted Token Grants, phantom tokens, you name it. The cherry on top? They also handle payroll, tax compliance, reporting needs and can integrate with any payroll/EOR providers in any jurisdiction. [Save time, money, and be compliant by working with Toku.]( **static noise** And now back to your regularly scheduled programming… 3/ The “things Sam is freaking out about” list We all keep lists... To-do lists. Million-dollar-shower-idea lists. Well, Caroline always carried around a different kind. It was called the “things Sam is freaking out about” list. Here’s a sneak peek: [Source: @molly0xFFF]( A few things to point out: - “Getting regulators to crack down on Binance” - you know what they say… if you can’t beat them, join eliminate them. - “Raising from MBS” - Some people go to their rich, bald uncle when they need $1B… fkSBF went to Mohammed bin Salman. (aka the Saudi Crown Prince) - “Buying SNAP” - fkSBF was apparently trying to buy Snapchat. Phew. Crisis averted. - “Willie being happy” - I don’t know who the hell Willie is, but I hope he’s happy after all this… 4/ fkSBF suggested they should keep selling Bitcoin if it went over $20,000. According to Caroline, fkSBF came up with a master plan to get liquidity in time of need. The plan: just keep [selling Bitcoin]( if it was above $20,000. In other words, it wasn’t short-term paper hands that were selling and keeping BTC’s price low... it was potentially fkSBF adding sell-pressure. Milk Road Take: What. A. Day… We’ll see if fkSBF’s defense can get him out of the (deep) hole he’s in during Caroline's cross-examination later today. But right now, in our (totally non-expert) opinion…fkSBF is f*cked. - Bribing government officials ✅ - Creating fake balance sheets ✅ - Asking regulators to attack your competition ✅ - Manipulating crypto prices to stay under $20k ✅ - Getting caught doing it all in 4K ✅ That’s the 5 Fingers of Legal Death right there. THE PSYCHOLOGY OF MARKET CYCLES 📊 [Source: Steemit]( Check it out. You might’ve seen this graph before. It’s Wall Street’s Psychology of a Market Cycle. It shows how investor’s feelings change throughout market cycles. And with everything going on, we’re curious… How are you feeling about the markets? - [Hope: A recovery is possible.]( - [Optimism: A rally is coming.]( - [Belief: Time to fully invest.]( - [Thrill: I'm telling everyone to buy!]( - [Euphoria: We're all gonna be rich.]( - [Anxiety: Why do prices keep dropping?]( - [Panic: Oh sh*t. I need to abandon ship.]( - [Anger: WTF!! Who let this happen?!]( - [Depression: Money gone. Retirement gone. What now?]( - [Disbelief: This is a sucker's rally.]( Click on your answer above and we’ll share the results with you tomorrow! BITE-SIZED COOKIES 🍪 [Stars Arena has recovered 90% of its stolen funds](. The web3 social media app was hacked for ~$3M last week. (finally, good news from a hack) [Trezor is launching three new hardware wallets](. The lineup includes a limited-edition Trezor Safe 3 Bitcoin-only wallet. [The USDR stablecoin depegged and dropped 50% yesterday](. USDR is backed by an illiquid real estate portfolio - causing panic among holders. [Ethereum gas fees have dropped to a new yearly low.]( The decline is likely due to the drop off in users on DeFi applications, NFTs, layer-2 networks, and various Telegram bots. (And for our crypto curious - learn more about [gas fees here]() [WisdomTree launched its “blockchain-enabled” consumer app in 11 new U.S. states](. The $94B asset manager’s app is now available in 32 states across the country. MILKY MEMES 🤣 [Source: @EnronChairman]( [Source: @intern]( HIT THE INBOX OF 250K+ CRYPTO INVESTORS Advertise with Milk Road to get your brand in front of the Who's Who of crypto. The Roaders are high-income crypto investors who are always looking for their next interesting product or tool. [Get in touch today](. What'd you think of today's edition? - [🥛🥛🥛🥛🥛 F**king great]( - [🥛🥛🥛 Meh, do better]( - [🥛 You didn't bring the heat]( Share Milk Road You currently have 0 referrals, only 1 away from receiving The Next 10x Opportunity in Crypto for 2023. [The Next 10x Opportunity in Crypto for 2023]( [Click to Share]( Or copy and paste this link to others: ROADER REVIEW OF THE DAY VITALIK PIC OF THE DAY [tw profile: Milk Road Images] Milk Road Images @MilkRoadImages [tw] My net worth is in this man's hands... Oct 12, 2023 0 Likes 0 Retweets 0 Replies DISCLAIMER: None of this is financial advice. This newsletter is strictly educational and is not investment advice or a solicitation to buy or sell any assets or to make any financial decisions. Please be careful and do your own research. [tw]( [ig]( [yt]( [tk]( [in]( Update your email preferences or unsubscribe [here]( © 2023 Milk Road 603 Munger Avenue Suite 100 #1006 Dallas, Texas 75202, United States