Newsletter Monday, June 19, 2017

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Monday, June 19, 2017 [Intro for June 19, 2017]( [A Tribe Called Red Canadian band, 4x Nominee walk the carpet at the 2017 iHeartRadio Much Music Video Awards in Toronto on June 18, 2017]( Dear Gossips, Last September, I posted [in this space]( about A Tribe Called Red and their album We Are The Halluci Nation. They were on [The Social]( and, in my opinion, that interview remains one of the best, if not the best, interview segment we’ve ever done on our show. Not because of anything we did but because of what Ian Campeau, Bear Witness, and Tim Hill brought to us and to our audience. A Tribe Called Red won Video Of The Year at the IHeartRadio Canada MuchMusic Video Awards last night. Kevan Funk won Best Director. It means that here in Canada, at one our country’s most high profile events, the event with probably the biggest international profile (the MMVAs were trending at #4 worldwide on Twitter at one point on Sunday), indigenous artists were honoured with the biggest award of the night. Not that that fixes anything. And not that that means we’re there. But it certainly opens up more opportunity for conversation, especially when you consider who was there – thousands of youth, in person and watching throughout Canada and around the world – and what they took away from this event. "Believe in your dreams." [@iHeartRadioCA]( [#MMVAs]( [@atribecalledred]( [@TheNarcicyst]( [pic.twitter.com/hRaGA8kvxo]( — MUCH (@Much) [June 19, 2017]( Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:29 PM [What Else?]( Not to be a dick or anything but… do we really want to put Milo Ventimiglia aka Jess Mariano in the same category as Coach Eric Taylor? That’s definitely a Coach Taylor outfit though. What is it with dads and those pants? [This entire outfit](, actually. My dad is probably wearing it today. That said, my dad is bald and wears his Dad Outfit with a sassy little blue beret. Sasha can’t get enough of his beret. It’s her favourite thing. (Dlisted) Horror movies are not my thing. A few years ago, I had to cover the junket for The Conjuring. That night I voodooed the sh-t out of my hotel room with every spirit-warding trick my mother has ever taught me (put a pair of shoes facing the opposite direction on the highest part of the room) and I still couldn’t sleep and it took me a month to recover. Hauntings are real! Ghosts are real! So WHYYYYYY would anyone [want this job](? (Jezebel) I keep thinking about how Elvis’s style would have changed if he had survived himself. He was only 42. There was so much more time for him to get over the jumpsuits and move on to a different fashion era. If you watch back the 1968 Comeback Special, and in particular the red suit and the white suit, you’ll note that Elvis, back then, was wearing his pants the way men are wearing them now. Slim fit, cut short. You could put those suits on any red carpet today and they’d still work. Would Elvis be Tom Ford? Or would he be a Versace. [By way of Zayn](? Doubtful. (Just Jared) If I gave birth to two babies at the same time, I would want as much help as possible. I would buy the help. I would throw all the money at the help. And don’t lie, you would too. What, then, was the point of telling people that Amal and George Clooney [wouldn’t need the help](? Or, if you’re the source who made up the story, what are you getting at with making up the story? Who does it help to say that families don’t need help? (Cele|bitchy) There was a rumour a few weeks ago that Dior dumped Marion Cotillard. And as I said at the time, I’m not sad about that. Dior wasn’t doing much for her. And so here she is in Chloe. [I love this look](. I love that it’s part tacky, part elegant. I love the peplum is not supposed to work with that long loose skirt but it does. (GoFugYourself) There are certain people you can depend on to give boring, safe answers. Sunshine, always. And there are certain people you can depend on to for shade, always. That would be our first lady of rainbow glitter, Ms Mimi. Who was on American Idol strictly for the money. And after taking the money feels no way about sh-tting on the people who paid her. Somehow, not only are we not calling her ungrateful, we are asking for more. [This is a gift](. (Buzzfeed) [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 7:43 PM [All Eyez On Me review]( [ Demetrius Shipp Jr. attends the All Eyez on Me ABFF Screening at Regal South Beach Cinema on June 17, 2017 in Miami Beach, Florida]( [In April](, I said a prayer to Blue Ivy, our dear sweet lamb of Beyoncé, that All Eyez on Me would be good. Every piece I've written leading up to the release of the biopic about Tupac Shakur's life and legacy has essentially been a fingers-crossed, hold-my-breath wish that the film would be as compelling as its source material. Maybe it's because the twins weren't here yet and I wasn't able to call on the powers of the Holy Trinity but All Eyez on Me is not a great movie. It is not the movie Tupac Shakur's story deserved. It is, however, slightly better than the film’s more unfavourable reviews would lead you to believe. If you are a hardcore fan of Tupac, nostalgia will make up for some of the film's heavy-handed dialogue and Benny Boom's clumsy direction (be prepared for random slow motion and lots of fades to black). Hearing Tupac’s catalogue and watching the music videos and movie roles we all know so well play out with sometimes frame-for-frame accuracy will transport you right back to that era. But nostalgia can only go so far. All Eyez on Me hovers over the surface of Tupac's career hits and life highlights without ever going deeper into the man’s complexities and creative process. It’s a fine re-telling of the version of Pac’s life you can find on Wikipedia but fine is not good enough when it comes to the story of one of the most prolific, important and complicated rappers of all time. As Touré notes for [The Daily Beast](, Tupac’s story is worthy of so much more, from Pac’s family ties to the Black Panthers all to way to his tragic death, this could have made for a timely and classic film. To portray a life this large accurately onscreen would require a film as majestic as The Godfather. He was our Michael Corleone—the product of an important family who learned and grew and rose to become the leader of a complex world where those closest were conspiring to kill him. That’s how big Pac’s life was. That’s how much he means to millions. More than any life in hip-hop history, Pac’s life deserves an epic film. When I wrote about All Eyez on Me's [first teaser trailer,]( I wrote that "the film will live or die by Shipp’s performance." I was wrong. [Demetrius Shipp Jr.]('s performance is actually pretty good but All Eyez on Me never lives up to his potential. There is no doubt that Demetrius Shipp Jr looks and sounds very much like Tupac Shakur – eerily so. In the hands of another director, Shipp Jr.’s raw talent could have been elevated to the likes of Oshea Jackson Jr in Straight Outta Compton. Similarly, Jackson Jr. had the look and cadence of the man he was playing (in large part because the dude he was playing was his father) but it never felt like he was mimicking Ice Cube. The same could be said for Jason Mitchell’s portrayal of Eazy E. There are moments in All Eyes on Me where you can almost see Demetrius Shipp Jr trying to get Pac’s exact head tilts and speech pattern, like when the film reconstructs Tupac’s most famous interviews. In those moments, it feels like a gimmick. But there are flashes of brilliance in Shipp Jr’s portrayal of Tupac, mainly his interactions with Jada Pinkett (played by [Kat Graham](). Graham and Shipp Jr’s chemistry is one of the most magnetic elements of All Eyez on Me but after Jada Pinkett Smith blasted the movie by calling out almost every scene between Jada and ‘Pac as [historically inaccurate](, it was hard to buy into the honesty both Shipp Jr and Graham brought to their portrayals. I understand that the intention was to recreate the spirit of Tupac and Jada’s friendship and if All Eyez on Me was a better movie, I might be more willing to forgive the inaccuracies. Since it is not, the creative liberties the film took are just a letdown. Which brings me to Suge Knight, played by Dominic L Santana. If you know anything about Death Row Records and that era of hip-hop, you know the stories about how Suge was basically a violent sociopath. In All Eyez on Me, he’s portrayed as the protective head of the Death Row family, watching over ‘Pac and Snoop like their very own Dominic Toretto. Yes, All Eyez on Me’s script is so bad it deserved that Fast and the Furious association. Suge’s temper is shown briefly in a scene where he stuffs lobster and champagne down a guy’s throat for stealing studio time but the way it is framed in the film, it almost seems justified. A movie that portrays Suge f-cking Knight in a positive light is not one I can fully get behind. That said, [Danai Gurira]( is great as Tupac’s militant mother Afeni Shakur but she’s out-acting everyone so hard that at times, it feels like she’s in a different film. The comparisons to Straight Outta Compton do not stop at the performances. When Straight Outta Compton came out, Ava Duvernay tweeted this: To be a woman who loves hip hop at times is to be in love with your abuser. Because the music was and is that. And yet the culture is ours. — Ava DuVernay (@ava) [August 16, 2015]( It’s a quote I come back to often. To be a female fan of hip-hop, especially during Tupac’s reign, was to know that your fave was also most likely problematic. I wouldn't call myself a casual Tupac fan. There was a time when All Eyez on Me and Makaveli were the only albums I listened to. My godsister used to hoard all of Tupac’s Word Up magazines from her cousin in New York and she would sneak them to me when our moms weren't looking. I remember the first time I heard Keep Ya Head Up and how much it meant to me. And yet, I only vaguely remembered that sexual abuse was the reason why Tupac was incarcerated in 1993. All Eyez on Me gets some credit for addressing the court case and conviction head on instead of glossing over hip-hop's treatment of women, like history so often has. All Eyez on Me did not ignore Tupac’s treatment of women like Straight Outta Compton did with Dre’s past of domestic and physical abuse. All Eyez on Me did not ignore the glaring asterisk of Pac's career but it handled the retelling of that part of ‘Pac’s life so poorly, it was offensive. Instead of delving into the juxtaposition of a dude who could write lyrics like this, “got our name from a woman and our game from a woman/ I wonder why we take from our women/ why we rape our women, do we hate our women?”, and be convicted of sexual abuse, the film focuses on Pac’s version of events. As [The Globe and Mail]( points out, the “screenwriters instead paint the most nauseating portrait of Shakur’s accuser possible, alternately depicting her as a sex fiend or a mess of hysterics.” Will we ever get a film about hip-hop that does right by the women involved in its history? I’ve now written over a thousand words on Tupac’s life and I have yet to mention Biggie. That is because All Eyez on Me barely touches on the most fascinating rivalry in hip-hop history. Aside from alluding to the theory that Biggie had something to do with ‘Pac’s death, their conflict is hardly explored. This oversight is at the crux of All Eyez on Me’s most glaring flaws: it teases the good sh-t without ever delivering. All Eyez on Me performed above expectations at the box office this weekend. While I’m glad people are supporting a film helmed by a black director and starring a predominately black cast, All Eyez on Me’s box office results seem to be the only thing about this movie that wasn’t a disappointment. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 7:07 PM [Ryan Gosling and Elvis]( [The stars and filmmakers of 'BLADE RUNNER 2049', actors Ryan Gosling, Ana de Armas, Sylvia Hoeks and director Denis Villeneuve appear in Barcelona on the occasion of the CineEurope event on June 19, 2017 in Barcelona, Spain]( As mentioned, I took the day off on Friday because I was at Graceland. It was my first time. I say this because having been there, I now realise I have to go back. How stupid to think that once would be enough. It’s not enough. Because I have become 12 years old again. I am just as intense and obsessed with [Elvis]( after going to Graceland as I was when I first discovered Elvis. He’s all I can think about. It’s actually a problem, I’ve become so distracted. Anyway, we stayed at the Guesthouse at Graceland which just opened this year. They play the 1968 Comeback Special and Aloha from Hawaii on a loop on the TV in every room. That’s what we watched whenever we were back at the hotel, those two videos over and over again, and we didn’t ever turn the TV off, not even when we went to bed. That might be why I can’t stop with the Elvis. I’ve been hypnotised. No one has ever been sexier than Elvis in that black leather suit in 1968. But back to [Ryan Gosling]( who was in Barcelona today promoting Blade Runner. And even this is reminding me of Elvis. Because of Ryan’s popped collar. You know Elvis loved a popped collar. Elvis loved an enormous collar. Every jumpsuit had a collar. And when it didn’t have a collar it was because… he wore a giant ROPE CHOKER instead! God I f-cking love that rope choker. Who else could make a rope choker look this sexy? And don’t tell me it’s not your thing. The man used to strut around Las Vegas in a white jumpsuit with a ROPE CHOKER. This is everyone’s thing! Sorry. We were talking about collars. In the lobby of the Guesthouse at Graceland, all the lounge chairs are designed to look like an Elvis collar, high and slanted. I don’t know if there are any pieces of furniture inspired by his fashion, but this is probably why I have to go back and find them. As for Ryan Gosling, it’s not just the popped collar. He too has had his Elvis moments. His uncle was an Elvis impersonator. And then there’s this: [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 6:27 PM [Mandy Moore in 47 Meters Down]( SPOILERS 47 Meters Down, aka, Don’t Go In The F*cking Ocean, You Dipsh*ts, opened in 5th place this weekend, exceeding expectations with over $11 million at the box office, and ahead of Rough Night, which should tell you how much of a bomb Rough Night is. But is 47 Meters Down any good? When it comes to shark movies, there’s Jaws, and Everything Else, which can be subdivided as “sequels to Jaws”, enjoyable B-movies like [The Shallows](, and intentional trash like Sharknado. 47 Meters Down is aiming for the “enjoyable B-movie” category but fails at the “enjoyable” part. It’s the kind of movie that depends on its protagonists being the stupidest f*cking humans alive, which makes it hard to root for them because f*ck, we don’t need that sh*t DNA swimming around the gene pool. It also has a terrible cheat ending that ruins whatever mojo it manages to work up. [Mandy Moore]( stars as Lisa, whose defining trait is that she is so boring the only way she can prove she’s not boring is by practically crawling into a shark’s mouth for the photo op. She’s joined on her Mexican vacation by her sister, Kate (Claire Holt, The Originals), a Grade-A dumbass whose only purpose in life is to get everyone she meets killed. By virtue of being pretty, white, and clueless, we’re supposed to sympathize with Lisa and Kate, but they’re so willfully stupid that’s impossible. Lisa, freshly dumped because she’s boring—seriously! They say this!—wants to spend her holiday at the pool, because she has instincts. Kate, a moron, wants to go on a completely shady and obviously unsafe shark-diving expedition. Kate wins, because Lisa’s stupidity is greater than her self-preservation. The first warning that this shark-diving thing is a bad idea is that Matthew Modine is the captain of the boat. Never get on a boat captained by the guy who starred in Cutthroat Island. The second warning is the rusted and janky-ass cage the girls have to get into. Lisa’s like, “Umm….no?” and Kate’s all, “We’re white in a survival movie! We’re invincible!” And so they go in the cage. 47 Meters Down has precisely one good idea: That the ocean is F*CKING SCARY. Once the girls are stuck in the cage on the ocean floor—because Captain Cutthroat’s boat is a piece of sh*t and breaks—director Johannes Roberts (pulled from the world of low-budget horror) makes the most of the murky, impenetrable depths of the ocean. Though the ocean is vast, because their vision is so limited, the effect is claustrophobic and would have been more effective without a grinding, thumping electronic score (courtesy tomandandy, the duo who also scored Sinister 2). The Shallows made the same mistake, going for loud when the tension would be better served by something quieter. But it’s worse here—tomandandy go WAY over the top, to the point that music cues become comical. 47 Meters Down also has precisely one good scene: The girls, injured, make a desperate break for the surface. It’s a tense, actively frightening sequence, with the one good shot in the movie—a trio of sharks, illuminated by an underwater flare, circling Lisa and Kate. It’s a good shot in a good scene, and this sequence also delivers on the tacit promise of a shark movie: That you’re going to see a shark attack. For most of the movie the camerawork is sh*t and you can’t tell what’s happening, and all the shark attacks are just camera bonks and people sliding out of frame. But not in this last scene! There’s a decent staged attack and a cathartic, everyone-exhale ending. But wait! What’s this? IT WAS ALL A DREAM? This ending, what could have been a strong ending on a bad movie, is a giant psych out because Lisa is hallucinating. You can practically hear the movie deflating as the audiences realizes none of that sh*t actually happened. The problem with “It’s all a dream” is that it destroys momentum and kills audience engagement with the story (see also: Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part 2). Instead of leaving audiences with a positive, energetic impression, it leaves audiences feeling cheated. You can convince an audience to like whatever garbage movie you’ve made, as long as the ending is strong enough. But 47 Meters Down takes away what would have been a decently cathartic ending and replaces it with a dumb, anti-climactic fade to black that spits in the eye of the audience that just sat through eighty minutes of bad movie, waiting for some payoff only to get “It’s all a dream’d” like that’s going to be acceptable to anyone. 47 Meters Down assumes its audience is as dumb as its characters. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 6:01 PM [Smutty Social Media, June 19, 2017]( [Iggy Azalea at the 2017 iHeartRADIO MuchMusic Video Awards at MuchMusic HQ on June 18, 2017 in Toronto, Canada]( Most random Twitter skirmish ever: Rob Schneider blocked [Seth Rogen]( (it was not made clear why).I thought perhaps it was an accidental block or because of a difference of political opinion. Now I think it was all a long game to meet James Franco. A few days later, cooler heads prevailed. What the fuck?! [pic.twitter.com/aqZnvQ0FkD]( — Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) [June 17, 2017]( Why does he seem so appalled to be sitting with his own family? [pic.twitter.com/v7Udqq1Yz2]( — Seth Rogen (@Sethrogen) [June 17, 2017]( Dear [@Sethrogen]( I'll unblock you if I can meet James Franco. You'll be back in buddy! Potentially yours again, Rob — Rob Schneider (@RobSchneider) [June 18, 2017]( Dear Seth, You are officiallyUNBLOCKED! Go celebrate 2Nite with some close friends.But be on your best behavior from now on! ILOVED"TheEnd" — Rob Schneider (@RobSchneider) [June 18, 2017]( Dear Seth, And thanks for hooking me up with Franco. You're right, he is dreamy! Your pal once again, Rob — Rob Schneider (@RobSchneider) [June 18, 2017]( Over the weekend, the new US Weekly reported that [Drew Barrymore]( is [dating again](. A few hours later she posted this photo. OK. This is silly – the man she is reportedly dating is a businessman, he’s not famous so the headline will barely be a blip. Pick your battles. [Say no more]( A post shared by Drew Barrymore (@drewbarrymore) on Jun 16, 2017 at 3:38pm PDT What did Ronan Farrow do yesterday? OpenTable, I have a few things to tell you. [pic.twitter.com/9iVnI0ioGf]( — Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) [June 16, 2017]( The GOAT being her GOAT self. [A post shared by Serena Williams (@serenawilliams)]( on Jun 15, 2017 at 5:56am PDT Do nerds love Deadpool as much as like Batman and stuff? Is this nerd porn? [Dropped by X-Mansion. Looked closely for Beast's lawn bombs before taking well deserved nap.]( A post shared by Ryan Reynolds (@vancityreynolds) on Jun 17, 2017 at 12:41pm PDT The Butterfly Chanteuse is omnipresent! And is this the first time Mariah has acknowledged anything even slightly, tenuously political? Sure she might not know who Lauren Duca is, or maybe she’s just a fan of Girls. But it’s still interesting as Mariah typically abstains from conversations that don’t involve her youth or thinness. (You can read more on Lauren Duca [here](.) OK, it's getting a little much [pic.twitter.com/SwnFTKhiPc]( — Lauren Duca (@laurenduca) [June 10, 2017]( This is actually insane? — Lauren Duca (@laurenduca) [June 10, 2017]( I have had to invoke Mariah Carey a lot over the years when it comes to angry men: "why you so obsessed with me?" — Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) [June 10, 2017]( Feel free to invoke me anytime [#girls]( 🤗❤️ [pic.twitter.com/kOaTNm26hC]( — Mariah Carey (@MariahCarey) [June 11, 2017]( This is still happening, I guess (by “this” I mean [Iggy Azalea]( and safety pin dresses). [Thank you for my dress @christiancowan 💚#MMVA]( A post shared by Iggy Azalea (@thenewclassic) on Jun 18, 2017 at 8:15pm PDT “Happy Birthday Cowboy.” They are kind of cute. [I get to kiss on the birthday boy @blakeshelton #happybirthdaycowboy gx]( A post shared by Gwen Stefani (@gwenstefani) on Jun 18, 2017 at 4:02pm PDT [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 5:47 PM [Mahershala after Moonlight…and Jay Z]( [Mahershala Ali covers GQ]( I haven’t written about Mahershala Ali since a [couple of weeks after he won]( the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor in Moonlight. It was a long award season. He’d just become a father. He took a break, to be with his family, to process the milestone year he’d just had. Because, of course, it’s different. [Mahershala Ali]( winning an Oscar isn’t the same as Jared Leto winning an Oscar. Jared Leto wins an Oscar and he can go on being the same asshole, with more opportunities to be an asshole. Mahershala Ali wins an Oscar, the first Muslim actor to win an Oscar, and yet, as he tells [GQ this month](, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he can stop, as “a large black man”, trying to “make people feel safer”. Or that he won’t get stopped while walking down the street by cops in Berkeley and asked to show his ID. The GQ profile, written by Carvell Wallace, is gorgeous. Too gorgeous to excerpt because it’s written about Mahershala through the personal lens of Carvell – without taking anything away from the subject, a delicate balance to maintain for a writer, requiring all kinds of skill and technique but also done in a way where the skill and the technique are part of the flow of the piece. And on top of all that, what makes this piece different is that it’s not one of those generic articles about an actor fresh off his Oscar win and how much shine to light up his ass because between both of them there’s an understanding – again, Mahershala’s win is not like most Oscar wins in that they can be claimed as a singular achievement, restricted indulgently to the person who now owns that trophy. Rather, Mahershala’s win unavoidably has its own layered context, its borders both narrow, in that, unfortunately, he is in rare company, and expansive, because within that company there is a shared experience that has been felt by several generations. This perspective is summed up beautifully in Carvell Wallace’s final paragraph: On the way to my car (after our interview), I think about how few people there are like (Mahershala Ali). A man who holds an Oscar and a man from whom people hide their jewelry. His daily work is to make a living by being twice as indestructible, twice as powerful, yet half as threatening as an average white man. He is a winner in a country that seems to want people like him to lose. And perhaps, as he said, that can be misused as some kind of lazy peace offering. Here is a black man whose success proves that there’s nothing wrong at all. What’s everyone whining about? Anyone can do it. You just have to be extraordinarily talented, extraordinarily hardworking, extraordinarily forgiving, extraordinarily ambitious, extraordinarily good-looking, extraordinarily well-dressed, and extraordinarily lucky. You just have to know how to make winning look a hell of a lot easier than it really is. [Click here]( to read Carvell Wallace’s profile on Mahershala Ali in GQ. And in other Mahershala news, here he is, with Danny Glover, in a new video to promote [Jay Z](’s upcoming album 4:44. .[@S_C_]( ‘4:44’ [#TIDALXSprint]( [pic.twitter.com/yrLZzl65rc]( — Sprint (@sprint) [June 19, 2017]( Many are speculating that 4:44, like Lemonade, will be a visual album. When Blue Ivy was born, Jay immediately released a track called Glory that included her heartbeat and her crying. Now that the twins are here, perhaps this is how we will be introduced to them for the first time. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 5:18 PM [My Cousin Rachel: Rachel Weisz makes it worth it]( [Rachel Weisz from the cast of 'My Cousin Rachel' speaking at the Build LDN event at AOL London on June 8, 2017 in London, England]( Between My Cousin Rachel and Get Out, white tea cups with blue details are having a moment in two very different but similarly satisfying thrillers. In My Cousin Rachel, [Rachel Weisz]( uses her tea set to (possibly?) poison the young cousin and doppelganger of her deceased husband ([Sam Claflin](), while in Get Out, it's Catherine Keener's tool to hypnotize her daughter's boyfriend Chris (Daniel Kaluuya), and hold him in the "sunken place." Tea, anyone? Except, unlike Get Out, My Cousin Rachel carries less of a social punch and is set in the late 1800s. Rachel Weisz describes it as an "edgy take on a classic period film," where she plays a "sexually liberated" widow looking to preserve her [freedom and autonomy](. She’s right - it's a simmering slow burn kind of Gothic thriller, like Crimson Peak, but without the haunting supernatural elements. It’s also not quite as good. Here, Sam Claflin's naive and virginal Philip ends up residing with the wife of his late cousin as he attempts to avenge his sudden death, which he suspects to be murder by Rachel's hand. A series of letters from his cousin tipped him off that she is a black widow in the making — complete with a veil — but of course, he's no match for the "notorious" Rachel, who plays innocent and manipulates him into submission as she continues to send money out of the country. The two spend much of the movie circling each other for scraps of information and peck away at each other's fortunes and ego, until she manages to convince him that he's in love with her. But is he? And is she guilty, or is he simply paranoid? Did his cousin truly have a brain tumour all along? Rachel’s homemade hallucinogenic tea brews and a moustachioed lawyer further complicate Philip’s clarity. The film drags along for the first two thirds, but its ending is very satisfying and leaves you questioning who’s outsmarting who in a number of scenes throughout. Part of its unbalanced pacing has to do with Rachel Weisz being an intentionally stronger actor and character opposite Sam’s Philip, especially considering the buildup of her being an impenetrable vixen whose bark may or may not be stronger than her bite. She outperforms him and holds the reins over every scene they share, which makes his chase and pursuit slightly less fun than advertised. This is a solid B movie, a remake of the 1952 Olivia de Havilland-Richard Burton movie, and an adaptation of Daphne du Maurier (The Birds) of the same name. Rachel Weisz’s performance alone is worth the price of admission, and it’s always fun to watch her act circles around her scene partners. Also she looks INCREDIBLE. And after her recent turns in the disappointing (and missed opportunity) [Denial](, and the criminally underseen [The Light Between Oceans](, this Rachel part drives up the hype even more for her next project: Disobedience. Rachel stars in and produces the adaptation of a 2006 novel about a woman who returns to her Orthodox Jewish home following the death of her estranged rabbi father. While there, she shows romantic interest in a childhood friend (Rachel McAdams) which causes quite the uproar in the community. Now that’s a role worthy of her – plus, we get to see the two Rachels together. If anything, this sounds like Rachel’s (second) Oscar ticket much more than My Cousin Rachel, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I’ll get to see it at TIFF. It shot in January and [just sold at Cannes](, after all. And in a piece of placeholder press, Rachel talked it up in her recent profile with [The Guardian](. Is it fair to look beyond this project, and suggest the best is yet to come for Rachel? [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 4:36 PM [Planet of the Apps: after two episodes]( [Gwyneth Paltrow, Jessica Alba, and will.i.am attend Apple Music's Planet of the Apps Party at Soho House on June 12, 2017 in West Hollywood, California]( Planet of the Apps is Apple’s first push into original TV content and stars [Gwyneth Paltrow](, [Jessica Alba](, will.i.am and author/motivational speaker, angel investor (think: Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat) Gary Vaynerchuk. These four act as judges and then mentors/coaches to app developers. Yes, it’s very similar to both Dragon’s Den/Shark Tank and The Voice. (I accessed it through Apple Music, but many countries are streaming the first episode even without a subscription.) The concept (it’s a little cumbersome, stay with me): app developers “elevator pitch” the judges, hoping for a “right swipe” on an iPad from one (or more) so they can continue to pitch. If there’s a match, the app developer/s go into an intense 6-week incubation period with one-on-one mentoring, followed by a meeting with a venture capital firm for more funding (the four people here act as one body). The show disappoints on several levels. First off, the look is dated. The set is something we’d find on network TV – there’s none of the sleekness or innovation we’ve come to expect from Apple. The pop up graphics used to explain tech slang (like “top of the funnel” and “B2B”) are like watching text messages pop up during a TV show – pretty lame. The stock footage of San Francisco is hokey. The elevator pitch should be the most exciting part, but it falls flat. Non-famous Gary relishes playing the loud-mouth Alpha and he’s constantly banging on about Google and Amazon – we we KNOW Google and Amazon run the world, but if that’s a death knell for every app, then why are any of us watching? Besides that, there’s not a lot of chemistry as everyone is really nice to one another. It would be interesting if there was some competition between the judges after they choose their mentees – like what if the VC firm could only invest in one app? Or was there a cap on how much could be invested per episode? It’s clear the VC firm has deep pockets so it’s hard to worry about an app getting a million dollars. And with so much potential for success, there are no stakes for the judges-turned-mentors. Yes, judges choose the app and want it to succeed (out of the goodness of their hearts, I guess?) but there is no financial incentive for any of them to fight for it. Reality shows must have some kind of tension, and what they’ve set here up is “will the app receive VC funding”? The short and long of it is: who cares? (The show mostly glosses over the developers too, so they don’t get a proper backstory. Also, some of the apps on the show have already received investment and funding.) The mentors aren’t even really in on the pitch – they serve as back-up/moral support and don’t have to answer for any of the tough questions. They are not risking anything to be there because if pitch flops, they go back to their very plush careers. Take Jessica Alba for example: she chose an incredibly complicated app to work with. During the incubation process, she utilized it for her own benefit at The Honest Company. Did this help or hinder the person she was supposed to be guiding? Was it an unnecessary distraction? Did it hurt the pitch? This would have made a great storyline, but it wasn’t acknowledged. And this is the most puzzling disconnect for me: why ignore the fact that Gwyneth, Jessica and will.i.am are famous? (Don’t tell me the tech industry isn’t about celebrities, because if Apple wanted everyone to be circle-jerking to SDK they could have hired developers to be judges.) Obviously an investment was made to have them there, but we see and learn so little of their work. Gwyneth has a meeting with her goop team and they sit around a table nodding. Jessica suggests something to her The Honest Company employees and they enthusiastically agree. will.i.am is spinning ideas and his team laughs at his jokes. Celebrities are surrounded by people who agree with them – did we need Planet of the Apps to tell us this? Watching it, I found myself drifting off and having to rewind sections. I was looking for any kind of angle to write about, like who would I like to work for out of this bunch? (Definitely Gwyneth because she seems thoughtful and open; probably not Gary because he fires people based on “[data collection](”). How many times can will.i.am drop Kanye’s name? And if goop is so obsessed with toxins, why does GP have so many plastic bottles in her office? Is the motivational poster hanging in GP’s office the goop version of the “Hang in there, baby” cat poster? This is how little I cared about the storylines. Ultimately, Planet of the Apps is trying to reinvent a wheel it doesn’t understand. It wants to have the juicy parts of reality TV (heightened drama and instant gratification) without any of the low-brow behaviour. The result is a dull bit of forgettable streaming content. Swipe left. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 3:14 PM [Beyoncé Twin Watch](�©s-father-report-twins-have-been-born) [Jay-Z and Beyoncé]( What we think we know: the #Beybies have been born. At least according to multiple media outlets and Mathew Knowles, who tweeted this yesterday: They're here [June 18, 2017]( And then he subsequently got dragged by the Beygency on social media for making the announcement before [Beyoncé]( herself, even though Miss Tina liked the tweet. Miss Tina, by the way, was in New York this weekend for a wedding: [In New York for my friends son's wedding ! ❤️❤️God lets things happen in his time not ours! Dont try to rush him!]( A post shared by Tina Knowles (@mstinalawson) on Jun 17, 2017 at 9:35pm PDT Don’t try to rush God. And Beyoncé. If Tina’s in New York though, it means that whatever’s going on, she felt OK to travel. What’s going on, according to [TMZ]() is that the twins were born on Monday but have been kept in hospital for a “minor issue” though their sources are stressing that Beyoncé and the babies are fine. What we don’t know: Beyoncé has not spoken. And, from experience, until she speaks, or posts on her website, nothing is truly known. We don’t know, really, about when the twins actually arrived, so that we can add it to our holiday calendar. We don’t know about the names, if it’s really a boy and a girl. And, most importantly, we do not know what the Blue Ivy Carter is doing, and what Gucci outfit she wore to celebrate becoming a big sister. This is very important and I hope Beyoncé, when she’s good and ready, once the official photographer has presented the photo shoot selects to her for approval and entry into the archive, will take the time to share with us Blue Ivy’s wardrobe on this occasion. Will that be today? Today is Juneteenth. And BK is from Texas. [Click here for the rest of the photos.](�©s-father-report-twins-have-been-born) Posted at 2:35 PM [Scarlett Johansson in Rough Night]( [Zoe Kravitz, Jillian Bell, and Scarlett Johansson at Rough Night New York premiere, June 12, 2017]( Rough Night [bombed]( this weekend, and with a C+ CinemaScore it’s going to be hard pressed to last long enough in theaters just to break even on a comparatively low budget of $20 million. There’s a lot of “what happened” going on, and I think the issue with Rough Night is best exemplified by a scene early in the movie. In a pivotal scene, a group of friends reunited for a bachelorette weekend find themselves burdened with a dead body. Panicked, they start cleaning up the crime scene, clearing away drugs and, eventually, the body. There are a couple funny jokes in this scene, but as it plays the scene goes for the broadest laughs with the most conventional setups. Broad comedy can work, but at the point that you’re making an R-rated dead body comedy, you’re already not making a broad comedy. Trying to force what should be a black comedy about the weekend from hell into broad-comedy appeal is simply going against your movie’s DNA, and audiences aren’t stupid. They can pick up on the dissonance. (For the record, that scene should have been the friends arguing over which true crime TV series has the best chance of helping you get away with murder.) Rough Night is billed as a “The Hangover meets Bridesmaids” but really it’s a gender-swapped Very Bad Things. [Scarlett Johansson]( stars as Jess, an aspiring politician whose bachelorette party reunites her college friends, including Alice ([Jillian Bell](), Blair ([Zoe Kravitz](), Pippa ([Kate McKinnon](), and Frankie ([Ilana Glazer](). Alice, who shares the most complicated relationship with Jess, gets some actual characterization, but the others can be described with one word—Pippa is Australian, Frankie is gay, Blair is rich. Frankie and Blair get a teensy bit to do with a past romantic relationship, but the movie can’t decide if it wants to play that for laughs or sorrow. This is Broad City writer and director Lucia Aniello’s feature film debut, but though her work on that show is top notch, she has some trouble translating her short-form sensibility to a hundred-minute feature. The tone of the movie swings wildly from black comedy—it’s natural and most effective mode—to “girls gone wild” broad comedy, which feels forced by an unseen hand. I would love to see Aniello’s original script—co-written with her creative partner, Paul W. Downs (who also stars as Jess’s milquetoast fiancée)—because I suspect it was a much darker and raunchier story. The various ways the women try to dispose of the body are funny, but much of Rough Night is spent in one location, a palatial beach house loaned to Jess by a campaign donor. That’s probably due to budget constraints, but even that house isn’t best utilized as a location. If you’re stuck in one location, use every inch of it and mine as much humor as possible from it. For instance, Jess is afraid of getting blood on her donor’s pristine white décor, but after one (admittedly good) joke about it, that is dropped. But the cadaver has a gaping head wound—blood and brain matter would be a threat anywhere they take the body. That could have been a great running gag, with Jess cleaning up gore in increasingly bizarre and desperate ways, but that’s exactly the sort of humor the movie avoids. Somebody somewhere was afraid of Rough Night being too dark, but it really needed to be pitch black in its humor. The cast is funny and everyone gets in at least one solid laugh—Kate McKinnon runs away with the whole thing, her over the top Aussie accent becoming a joke unto itself—and Scarlett Johansson is refreshingly light, playing against type. But the movie is palpably afraid of its own shadow. It lays on the penis jokes but doesn’t want to touch the actual dead body in the room, and tacks on a dissonant ending absolving the ladies of any dubious morality. That ending comes straight from Studio Notes, and it just doesn’t fit with the rest of the movie. Rough Night lands some big laughs, but it can’t stick the landing. Here are Kate McKinnon, Jillian Bell, Zoe Kravtiz, and Ilana Glazer at the premiere last week, along with some more shots of [Scarjo in silver](. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 2:19 PM [June 19, 2017 – Smutty Shout-Outs]( [Team TPL]( Team True Patriot Love – Team TPL – started the Race Across America this weekend in support of Canadian veterans. These 8 riders are aiming to set the new RAAM record for the fastest ever call-Canadian 8-man team to celebrate our nation’s 150th birthday. You can follow their progress [here](. Team TPL is just over hallway to their goal of $200,000. If you can help, please click [here](. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:40 PM [Privacy Policy]( - [Unsubscribe](