Newsletter Monday, May 22, 2017

[LaineyGossip.com - Calling all smuthounds!] Monday, May 22, 2017 [Intro for May 22, 2017]( [Cher performs on stage at the 2017 Billboard Music Awards at the T-Mobile Arena on May 21, 2017 in Las Vegas, Nevada]( Dear Gossips, That.Ass. Cher’s ass, of course. I mean, I think part of the point last night was to notice the nipple pasties and the ass, the 71 year old ass. After all, she did let us know when she was accepting the Icon Award at the Billboard Music Awards that she could do a five minute plank. So, yes, that ass. It’s a marvelous f-cking ass. A marvelous 71 year old ass! Here’s what else I appreciate about [Cher]( though – she came out first with Believe and then they rolled on the tribute package. You know why? To give her time for a wig change. Let me be clear: I will never be mad at a schedule that accommodates a wig change. Don’t for a second read any sarcasm into this. No sarcasm, just admiration. Universal admiration – and from other icons too: Celine Dion was all of us during Cher's performance✨ [#BBMAs]( [pic.twitter.com/0YxevFfJe5]( — billboard (@billboard) [May 22, 2017]( Watching [Celine]( watching Cher just made my life. Did you hear her at the end there? Celine adding her own vocals “after love after love after”. That’s really all I care about from the event: Cher and Celine (and maybe a side of Drake). What would the event have been without them? Do we have to talk about anyone else? It’s a holiday here in Canada today. So we’ll get to the essentials, including Show Your Work, and resume on a full schedule tomorrow. Yours in gossip, Lainey [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:09 PM [What Else?]( [Mamma Mia!]( There was a time in my life, I would have been around 21, when all I did was listen to ABBA. Like all day every day, until 4am. While I played Minesweeper. It was my only experience with insomnia. And of course it’s because some asshole broke up with me. All this say, I’m not opposed to the idea of this movie. If only because I think they may have missed out on Knowing Me, Knowing You. But I agree here that under no circumstances should [Pierce Brosnan be allowed to participate](. (Dlisted) I had a Cabbage Patch doll. My poor dad had to line up for hours to get one for me. And when he brought her home I cried because I got one of the short hair ones. I now regret not appreciating her more. That said, I can’t remember her name. I think maybe Rachel? So my point is that I can understand [people getting all worked up about their American Girls](. But my second point is that in 20 years, this underwear problem will be nothing. (Jezebel) Zac Efron is telling a story about Michael Jackson. He does not have a hilarious “I was pranked-called by Michael Jackson” story like Russell Crowe. At least I don’t think he does. I’m not sure though because I couldn’t focus on anything in this video but the height of his hair. [It’s exactly matches the size of his forehead](. Do you think it was measured this way? (Just Jared) [I love everything about this dress on Kendall Jenner](. I love that it took enough from the 80s without compromising the now. I love that it’s a dress that demands a wind machine. I even love the nylon ankle socks. In fact, I don’t think all of it works as well together without the nylon ankle socks. WHYYYYYYY couldn’t it be Jessica Chastain wearing it? (Cele|bitchy) Speaking of Jessica Chastain, here’s [a selection of her looks at Cannes so far](. Have I mentioned how much I adore her? Which is why I wish she’d pick some better dresses? They all want to dress Jessica Chastain. But Jessica Chastain’s dresses are, for the most part, so underwhelming. The one will all those tassles become a full skirt? It’s good…except it’s pale violet. Imagine the difference if it came in black. RIGHT!?!? (Go Fug Yourself) In the last two weeks, I’ve read three different essays about swearing. Three different essays that appreciate the ART of swearing. And introducing new ways to swear. Or unappreciated swears. Like “ripsh-t”. [Ripsh-t is an excellent swear](. It’s evocative, it contains the hard consonants that make swearing so satisfying, and, well, it’s just fun to say. Please be notice that I will be using ripsh-t as often as possible. (Slate) [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 7:49 PM [Show Your Work: Brie Larson, the non-It “It Girl”, and when people-pleasing leads to damage control]( [Brie Larson in Vanity Fair]( What’s your hype song? Duana’s hype song, like on days when you cannot get yourself out the f-cking song, is Kylie Minogue’s Love At First Sight. I went with Spice Girls. And then I actually sang it. So I hope you don’t stop listening when you hear me mangling out the tune. But we missed one. And then we found it later on that night. More on that in a minute. First… [Brie Larson]( who is playing Jeanette Walls in The Glass Castle adaptation. A trailer was released last week. And… And? Brie Larson is an Oscar winner. She’s also Captain Marvel. She’s been anointed by Marvel. But the question is: does she have It? If she has it, why did it take me so long to read her [Vanity Fair cover story](? Why did Vanity Fair have to sell it to us via Jennifer Lawrence and Emma Stone? Also, did you know that when Marvel first offered Brie the deal to be Captain Marvel they “demanded that she discuss the offer with no one”? What happens when the work opportunities are presented to you and you can’t get advice on the work opportunities? How much advice did [Jimmy Fallon]( get when his work, and his style of work, which for a long time was rated #1, suddenly required damage control? Stephen Colbert has been steadily gaining on The Tonight Show. To stop the bleeding, Jimmy was interview by [The New York Times last week]( and finally addressed at length the Donald Trump hair tousling incident from last year. His friends speak up to support him. Tina Fey, Lorne Michaels, NBC executives, all of them speak on the record in defence of Jimmy and his brand of late night comedy. Duana and I discuss whether or not this is the right move, whether or not Jimmy’s rationale, that he’s a “people pleaser” is effective not only as an explanation for what happened but as a tone for these times. This is the time of social media. And we have seen so many celebrities take advantage of social media to elevate their profiles, create new jobs, and to save their jobs. [Busy Philipps]( has shared quite candidly on Instagram that she’s made more money recently promoting brands and partnering with brands than she has with acting. Her show, The Sackett Sisters, was not picked up to series. Busy was devastated and she let all her followers know… and that led to the [campaign to save the show](. I’m not sure that the show can be saved. But what this kind of social media momentum will mean for Busy Philipps is a different story. What does Busy have that others don’t? And finally… Do We Need To Care about… [Robin Wright](? Last week, Robin made headlines for revealing that she was [initially told that she was getting paid the same]( as Kevin Spacey on House Of Cards. When she found out that was bullsh-t a few seasons later, [she demanded her share](. The question here, in this case, is whether or not you negotiate before you show your work, or whether or not you show your work first. As for that hype song I mentioned at the beginning of this post… Duana and I record the post on Friday nights. This Friday night, after we wrapped, we went to Dan Levy’s dance party. You know Dan Levy for all of his obvious gifts – he’s the Schitt’s Creek showrunner, he’s hot and sexy and cute and funny – but what you might not know is that Dan Levy throws the best dance parties. The reason why Dan’s dance parties are the best is because Dan understands that at a great dance party is actually a SINGALONG. [That's The Way It Is...at a @instadanjlevy dance party. With @duanataha Video credit: @dylanmcniven Confused bystander: @hannichka]( A post shared by Elaine Lui (@laineygossip) on May 20, 2017 at 3:08pm PDT Keep showing your work! Catch us weekly on [iTunes]( and [Google Play]( and hit us up on Twitter at [@laineygossip]( and [@duanaelise](. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 7:22 PM [“Boy, if you don’t stop”]( [Drake, Celine Dion and Dennis Graham (Drake's Dad) attend the 2017 Billboard Music Awards at T-Mobile Arena on May 21, 2017 in Las Vegas, Nevada]( What [Drake]( needs to stop is going up on stage and telling a different girl he loves her. Last August it was Rihanna at the VMAs. Last night it was [Nicki Minaj](, “the love of his life”. Which no one took seriously, at least I don’t think they did, but Star Magazine will probably still try to rumour in their next issue that Drake and Nicki are about to make babies. If they don’t try to rumour that he and Vanessa Hudgens are happening. So Drake set a record last night at the Billboard Music Awards for the most wins in one night – 13 awards. And that’s why he was there. Billboard awards aren’t necessarily the People’s Choice Awards but, at the same time, it’s not like it would have been a big secret. Drake had five rows to himself and his entourage at the show last night. And he performed in the fountain at the Bellagio. And they kept talking about how he “could” break the record, a sure sign that he WOULD break the record, especially since Young Money is back together and the Big 3 were seated front and centre. That said, despite the lack of suspense, Drake certainly came to entertain. Or was it just me? I loved him last night. I loved the leg kick during his acceptance speech when he called out his dad and his purple suit and shoes: Drake shot his shot at Vanessa Hudgens, ended beef w/ Luda, thanked Nicki & Wayne, & "Boy if you don't stop" a meme. [pic.twitter.com/YifAOamsgt]( — Anthony Aiken Jr. (@AnthonyAikenJr) [May 22, 2017]( Drake has always, always known how to create a meme. And/or turn himself into one. You will see “boy, if you don’t stop!” over and over again now. Every time there’s a sick dunk, every time someone hits a high note, every time the internet discovers a new moment, Drake’s leg kick will make an appearance. My moment, however, is this: Drake x Celine Dion 💕 [pic.twitter.com/VttP8pMWq5]( — DS (@DrizzySource) [May 22, 2017]( Drake tells her he’s about to ink her face on his ribs and she’s like… can you please be friends with my son? Maybe take him to your party? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 6:44 PM [Celine Dion: the Angel and her “girly days”]( [Celine Dion at the 2017 Billboard Music Awards at T-Mobile Arena on May 21, 2017 in Las Vegas, Nevada]( We’re going to start with the dress. And if you can’t get with this dress, if you can’t see the glory in this dress, I don’t know if we can move forward. What other dress would have been more perfect for this occasion, this milestone? It was the 20th anniversary of My Heart Will Go On. [Celine Dion]( is the Queen Of All The Feelings. That dress was a dress for all the feelings represented by two angel wing clouds hovering on either side of her. And it would be one thing if she couldn’t carry the weight of those wings, those winged feelings. But that’s never been Celine’s problem – this has always been her destiny, to be the blessed guardian, the safekeeper of every feeling that has ever been felt. It’s a burden she has carried her entire life, with grace. So no, of course this dress couldn’t overwhelm her. DID IT SOUND LIKE IT OVERWHELMED HER? Or did you hear God? Yes. You heard God. Because the dress became a part of her. She is feeling and feeling is her. At a time when trends last five minutes, no more, when old people huff exasperatedly about how the young don’t appreciate and how back in their time there was this, that, and the other, when “current” almost always overpowers “classic”, did you ever think that it would be Celine Dion who would prevail? Who would, in 2017, be cooler than she’s ever been, more necessary, more essential than she’s ever been? A few days ago, ahead of Celine’s performance this weekend, Billboard published the [Oral History of My Heart Will Go On](. If you haven’t read it yet, it will be the best thing you read today. Because it’s always the best when Celine speaks. I also love the guy who refuses to contribute to the “cockamamie” legend that Celine sang the song in one take. It’s exactly what the story needs to prevent it from being a fairytale. And Celine certainly doesn’t describe it that way either. Initially she was resistant to recording it at all. She had to be talked into it. As she said at the time, “Why do we need to break our nose?” From there it just gets more and more hysterical. Like when she casually reveals that she was on her period when she sang the demo. Or, as she puts it, “my girly days are starting to happen”. Another highlight: her reaction when asked about how Kate Winslet feels about the song. That’s the power of Celine through the years – she comes right off a page. So that even when you can’t hear her, you can feel her. And the feeling she leaves you with is never regret. [Click here]( for the My Heart Will Go On Oral History. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 5:24 PM [Tom Cruise & Russell Crowe]( [Russell Crowe and Tom Cruise arrive ahead of The Mummy Australian Premiere at State Theatre on May 22, 2017 in Sydney, Australia]( Please don’t tell me that I have to convince you to care about this. This is a great gossip story, with all kinds of gossip backstory. But first… I totally forgot about The Mummy until I saw a trailer for it during Saturday Night Live this weekend. The movie opens June 9th. Which is soon. It’s a week after Wonder Woman and a week before Cars 3 and Transformers. And it’s a franchise reboot with a star who already owns a few franchises, a test of Tom Cruise’s star power. So he has to put the [Tom Cruise]( signature hustle behind it. Here he is on Saturday in Hollywood at The Mummy Day takeover as a 75 foot sarcophagus has been mounted at Hollywood & Highland. Today he’s in Sydney for the Australian premiere. We’ll come back to that in a minute. Right now I want to talk about what this Tom Cruise press tour will look like. We’ve seen it from a few of the bigs lately. [Brad Pitt’s making matcha lattes for GQ](. Johnny Depp is entertaining theme park visitors at Disneyland. Will it be the same old whirlwind travel schedule from Tom? And pies in the face with Jimmy Fallon? Or will we get an interview in Parade (Parade is generally pretty safe and celebrity-friendly) or even a sitdown with Jess Cagle for PEOPLE? It’s been a while since Tom Cruise has been featured in a lengthy celebrity profile. I would love to see him show up in Vulture but I can’t see that happening. Now. Let’s get to Tom Cruise and [Russell Crowe](. They’re in The Mummy together. And they have history. Tom used to be married to [Nicole Kidman](. Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe have been good friends a long, long time. There were rumours a few months ago that Nicole was livid that Tom and Russell worked together. But here’s what Russell told [Australian media today about their history](: "We've known each other since 1992. We met - there will be a few names hitting the floor here - we were at a barbecue at Naomi Watts' house and Nicole Kidman, who was Tom's wife at the time, introduced me. She brought him over to where I was sitting. The most amazing thing was that I was talking to, at the time, the biggest movie star in the world, and he had been introduced to my films by his wife, so he was asking me questions, not the other way around. It was a pretty amazing experience and we have been friends ever since. When [The Mummy] came up, it felt like the right one." Last year, when Russell was interviewed by [Collider]( about his involvement in The Mummy, this is how he described their relationship: “Yeah, I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna play Dr. Henry Jekyll, Fellow of the Royal Society. It’s very interesting, what they’re gonna do with that stuff. I’ve had a couple of chats about it with the director (Alex Kurtzman). I’ve known Tom Cruise since 1992, or something like that. When he was married to an Australian, I was really good friends with him. But when he got divorced, I was part of the settlement package, and I went to Nicole [Kidman].” THAT I can understand. Because that’s how it typically happens in breakups where straight people are concerned: you divide the property and you divide the friend circle. Russell, as he noted, THEN, was evidently declared as Team Nicole. When did he become Switzerland? [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 4:04 PM [Didn’t Happen: Wedding Of The Rears]( [Prince Harry leaves after the wedding of Pippa Middleton and James Matthews at St Mark's Church on May 20, 2017 in Englefield, England]( Did you see this? The UK Sun’s cover story on Friday ahead of Pippa Middleton’s wedding? [Meghan Markle]( was photographed last week in London leaving a spa in gym gear and this became the storyline: Saturday's Sun: "Wedding of the rears" [pic.twitter.com/1yFAu2Nn4c]( [#BBCPapers]( [#tomorrowspaperstoday]( (via [@hendopolis]() — BBC News (UK) (@BBCNews) [May 19, 2017]( [Prince Harry]( would have been well aware of it. And the scrutiny surrounding Meghan’s anticipated appearance at the wedding, marking their first official society wedding together as a couple. And then Meghan, who was expected at church on Saturday, never showed. Coincidence or conspiracy? As mentioned in the previous post, the biggest story about Pippa’s wedding, [the royal-adjacent wedding](, was Meghan Markle and the possibility that we would, for the first time, see Meghan with Harry and William and Catherine. If that had happened, Pippa’s wedding would have been an afterthought. As we’ve seen, Harry’s been quite strategic in rolling out Meghan’s entrance into his life. It would not have been a good look for Meghan to splash onto the scene as a scene-stealer. So, instead, she was the total opposite. There’s not been one good shot of Meghan at Pippa’s wedding. There’s a photo of her where she’s barely distinguishable, in the passenger seat of his car, [arriving at the reception]( but apart from that, it’s been 48 hours and we don’t know what she wore, we don’t have any pictures of her from inside the party, and no one can fake any headline about her “upstaging” anyone. From a gossip perspective, obviously, it’s disappointing. From a royal approval perspective, it’s really smart. And it shows us, yet again, how protective Harry is about Meghan’s reputation and how engaged he is in managing the narrative around her right now. Which speaks to WHY he feels he needs to manage that narrative. For the future. And the steps that happen next. He knows that all of this goes back to the Queen. If the Queen asked for an update on Sunday about Pippa’s wedding, her advisors would have told her that, publicly, Meghan was a low-key presence at the event, that she did not peacock herself all over someone else’s wedding day, and that the only one was peacocking that day was the third in line to the throne, a certain three year old with a sucky face. And maybe Her Majesty would have rolled her eyes and replied, “Right. That one.” So how did the day unfold for Meghan and Harry? They left Kensington Palace together on Saturday morning. He then dropped her off at a house in nearby Berkshire, where she got ready. He came back to pick her up, they went to the party, and then they left to go back to KP earlier than most of the other guests, no drama, no scandal. And just in time for their one year anniversary. You’ll recall, by the time we found out Harry and Meghan were together, last fall, they’d already been dating since summer, after meeting in June. Now that Pippa’s royal-adjacent wedding is out of the way, Harry’s free to make his own moves. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 3:13 PM [Big G at the royal-adjacent wedding]( [Prince George of Cambridge attends the wedding of Pippa Middleton and James Matthews at St Mark's Church on May 20, 2017 in Englefield Green, England]( A few people messaged me over the weekend asking why I wasn’t covering the “royal wedding”. Ummm… WHAT ROYAL WEDDING? If I sound like a c-nt it’s because I am one. Pippa Middleton is not royal. [Pippa Middleton]( is royal-adjacent. Can we please stop declaring that she’s worth wasting a weekend over? There are two reasons why Pippa’s wedding became a thing, eventually. First, because we found out [Meghan Markle]( would be attending with [Prince Harry](. In the days leading up to Pippa’s wedding, most of the headlines were about Meghan and Harry, and not about the person who was actually getting married. And then, at the actual wedding, the person who ended up taking over the headlines was the person who always demands that the headlines belong to him: Prince Big G. After all, this will be his kingdom. And no one does MINE better than he does. So of course he had a tantrum. At one point, while leaving church after the ceremony, Big G could be seen having a suck attack. Some people think it’s because he decided to stomp all over his aunt’s wedding dress which resulted in a scolding from his ma. Maybe what Big G was actually objecting to was his outfit? Those child outfits are exactly what a royal-adjacent would choose for a wannabe royal wedding. But it’s [Princess Kate](’s outfit that most of you have been writing about. It’s Alexander McQueen. It was a governess’s dress. Which is kinda what she was doing? Minding the children? I’m not mad at it. No, it wasn’t stylish. Yes it was unflattering, particularly around the chest. But also? Better that than the being the one who shows up on the day all, I AM A PRINCESS, THE FUTURE QUEEN OF ENGLAND. Which sets up the next post, on Meghan Markle. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 2:24 PM [ScarJost]( [Scarlett Johansson and Colin Jost]( Too easy! Sorry! [Scarlett Johansson]( showed up on the SNL season finale cold open this weekend as Ivanka Trump. She stayed until the farewell. And then, according to Page Six, [she and Colin Jost were all over each other]( at the after-party: A witness told Page Six, “Scarlett and Colin were making out at the bar at the ‘SNL’ season finale party at 30 Rock . . . They would make out a bit, then go back to talking,” says the source. “They were at the bar in front of everyone . . . they made out at least twice . . . Then they went back to talking and hanging with other people.” Another source confirmed, “Scarlett and Colin were flirting and canoodling in full view of everyone at the after-party, including the ‘SNL’ cast and crew. They were laughing and seemed to really hit it off.” Scarjo joined the SNL 5-Timers Club just this year. So she’s familiar with the environment, I can see how she’d be comfortable enough to be givin’er out in the open, leaning into her attraction. I mean I don’t get the attraction (a man with weak lips has never done it for me and also he looks like Seth McFarlane) but I can see the attraction for Scarjo. It’s been five months since she announced her divorce. And she would be into the [Colin]( Jost resumé, that breed of Harvard comedy writer, just as he would be into her – Scarjo is the ultimate dream girl, for almost everyone but in particular for the Harvard comedy writer who has to pretend he’s too smart to just want a bombshell model when, really, he just wants a bombshell model. Scarjo is a bombshell but presents as MORE than a bombshell. And so… it’s actually perfect. So perfect I can’t believe we didn’t think of it until now. [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:37 PM [Venom gets a Tom Hardy Upgrade]( [Tom Hardy to star in Venom Spider-Man spin-off]( On Friday Sony announced that [Tom Hardy]( will star in Venom, their first Spider-Man spin-off. The last time Venom was on screen, he was played by Topher Grace, so this is a major upgrade. If you have also blocked Spider-Man 3 from your memories, Venom is the alien that possesses the journalist Eddie Brock and turns him into a [long-tongued drooling villain](, which means Hardy is playing two roles: Normal Eddie, and Evil Venom. So basically, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Which is sort of funny because the director set up for Venom, Ruben Fleischer (in a shocking twist, a white dude has been hired to direct a superhero movie), is also on deck to direct Chris Evans’ Jekyll and Hyde project. And just to make things extra-super-special confusing, Venom probably isn’t going to crossover with the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Sony is trying to get everyone hooked on saying “Sony’s Marvel Universe”, but I doubt that sh*t catches on. It’s obvious coattail riding and people aren’t that dumb, and everyone knows it should be called the “Spider-verse” anyway. But a stupid marketing ploy shouldn’t be held against this movie. Like Deadpool, Venom has a HUGE fanbase, and people have been dying for him to get his own movie. (Also like Deadpool, an R rating wouldn’t be out of bounds for the character.) Besides, the real question is can Sony sustain the momentum Marvel is creating by rebooting Spider-Man for them? A Tom Hardy/Venom movie isn’t a bad move to prove themselves. [Source]( [Click here for the rest of the photos.]( Posted at 1:24 PM [Privacy Policy]( - [Unsubscribe](